Improving Long Distance Relationships

Working on your relationship from the very beginning is very important for over the road truckers. The time you are away from home can began to take a toll without you even realizing it. Take these ideas and concepts seriously.

3 Habits For Happier Dating or Trucker Relationships

Three habits that will help you improve your trucking relationships are something that you both can work on immediately.  In the video I will cover these 3 things with examples which are.... 

  • Better Listening
  • Asking Better Questions
  • Giving More of Yourself

It seems too simple to work but it's more to it than going through the motions.  It's about being mindful of how you do these things.  I am sure everyone reading feels they already listen and give enough. 

Some ask plenty enough questions but you're doing it in the wrong way and you're asking the wrong types of questions.

It's a lot easier to be proactive and think of ways to improve a long distance relationship before it starts to deteriorate.  However, even a relationship on rock grounds can be brought back to life.

As a trucking couple you have limited time together.  You have to make that time together high quality.  In the video and below, I cover some questions and topics for discussion that I feel will help make your time together high quality.  (Just in case some people need it)

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(Sorry the video is such low quality, lol.  But if you listen, you'll love it.)

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10 Ideas for keeping the Relationship Strong

  • Don't take each other for granted.  Show it, say it, acknowledge it.....Then if you are on the other end, ask questions if you are not sure what is meant.

  • Tell each other, "I Love You".  There is often the assumption made, "He, she knows I love him/her, I don't have to say it."  If you have verified that cool.  But to assume that and act upon it may be a mistake.

  • Ask your spouse, "What things can I do that would show you that I love you?" (Men and women, communicate love differently and individuals communicate love differently.  Plus they were modeled what a normal loving relationship looks like by a background and experiences different than yours.)

  • Don't wait to be treated right first. You start it off.  (Otherwise there could be an ongoing standoff while things deteriorate.)

  • Praise your spouse 7 times for something sincerely before criticizing, finding fault or complaining once. Every time.  (This is based on how the mind works.  We hold on to negatively more than we do positivity by default.  So what you say negatively will stick longer and impact more than the positive.)

  • Let the little things go! Stop nagging each other.  (No one is perfect.  No one wants to hear complaining all of the time.)

  • Keep yourself looking as attractive as you were when you first met to the best of your ability most of the time.  (Stop that crap about he/she should love me for me.  Please.  Then you turn around and become self-conscious and jealous of him/her looking at others in shape.)

  • Surprise him/her with romantic acts. Leave the note.

  • Men she needs to be shown affection. (stated by women from survey).  Most women also want quality time especially if they can't get quantity.  So when you get home, it doesn't mean sleep, watch TV or hand with friends the entire time.

  • Women he needs sex. (stated by men from survey)  Also to be told he is appreciated and shown that he is needed as well as respected. 

  • Go on a date from time to time.  Don't make excuses about not feeling like it and don't procrastinate.  Just go. 

Other ways to help overcome distance in the relationship

Make sure you are communicating as effectively as possible. That means practice not taking things for granted and not placing blame.

"I thought you were gonna . . . " "Why didn't you tell me blah blah blah", "well, I thought you knew . . ." and on and on and on it could with similar situations.

None of this will work anymore.  It's not good when the family is going through those exchanges under the same roof, but it may kill the relationship altogether when all of a sudden the significant other becomes a trucker and spends most of the time driving and away from the family issues come up.

When problems in communication or misunderstandings happen don't be so eager to point a finger about who's fault it is.  Try to see it from the other person's point of view. Then you should both try to focus on how to move forward and how to improve the communication as to avoid future misunderstandings.

Communication means more than contacting each other frequently. It means understanding each other. Here are some common issues between men and women.

Men (Things that you might need to change)

  • Some men have a tendency to expect the woman to think logically and handle a situation the same way he would.
  • some men have a tendency to feel his call home does not matter to the wife. Because of this he will blow it off in times of stress or fatigue.
  • Some men have a tendency to blow off doing things when they get home, feeling as though having worked up to the point of getting home should be sufficient contribution to the household.
  • Some men have a tendency to believe that if something is wrong with the relationship from the spouse's perspective she will say something. Pay attention to her, and if you see that something is wrong don't ignore it or wait for her to say something.
  • Some men have a tendency to not compliment their wives and let her know he is aware of how much work she does to run the home while he is on the road. Stop holding back! Hug her, thanks her, and tell her, "I Love You So Much"
  • Some men demand the woman to make effort to keep herself up while he allows himself to get completely out of shape.

Women (Things you might need to change)

  • Some women have a tendency to expect a man to read her mind. Speak your mind, we can't read it.  (listen to Dr. Laura, she will tell you the same thing.)
  • Some women have a tendency to think men don't call home because they don't care. (often we just don't think it matters that much to you, OR you don't seem interested when we call so we will stop calling, or all you do is complain so we stop calling)Here is a trick, tell him you miss him, proud of what he is doing and can't wait to see him.  You will have him treating you like a Queen.
  • Some women have a tendency to keep her feelings inside instead of expressing the problems that she has with the relationship. (speak up but don't nag, don't blame him for anything, just state what is wrong and how it is affecting you)
  • Some women use her responsibilities and busy life as an excuse for not trying to be physically appealing (attractive) to their husband when he comes home. Then you feel insecure about other women on the road. Huh? Tighten up!
  • Some women tend to let themselves go completely because they are stressed about the overall situation, the result is even more stress and depression upon realization that she is gaining weight or even getting older (although she may not exactly identify why she feels down)Again, be proactive to avoid this.  Fix yourself up and even more importantly, work out, eat right and suggest he do the same.

You might notice that at the heart of these problems is a breakdown of communication. Assumptions and expectations are replacing conversation. One more key component is focusing too much on self instead of making sure the other person's needs are being met.  Don't hold back on the display of appreciation and affection for each other.  It goes a long way.

Since you are reading this guess what, the burden of responsibility lies upon you.  See, many people never think about these things.  So you are not going to wait for him/her to do their part.  You must just do your part of this list.  In most cases, doing that alone will have a profound affect on the relationship and the other person will take notice and soon reciprocate. 

Yes, if you alone are aware and do what is possible to improve the communication and relationship, it will have positive affects.

(With the exception of you being in a relationship with someone who is abusive, which likely means he/she will view you having a giving attitude as weakness or a display of guilt for some wrong doing.  If that is the case you need to talk to a counselor)

Even though you are away from family, the experience can create growth, maturity and strength within the family unit if you will take personal responsibility for your part in improving your behavior. Your spouse will come around if he/she is sincere and committed in the relationship.

Relationship Advice Video and 4 Pitfalls To Avoid

Disadvantages of Trucking
Impact On The Marriage
Impact on the Children
Tips and ideas for long distance relationships

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