Life around a trucker really sucks!!!!

I am not married to a trucker but am a sister to one that is married to a trucker & on my end my sister & her two small kids are living in hell & living a nightmare.

Before my brother-in-law took this job, he was a funny guy & one that you would love to be around.

I have noticed transformations in him since he has been doing trucking now for a year & I brought it up to my sister & she said yes she, too, has noticed the changes in him & she does not have the money or financial resources to pay for marital counseling.

In September when he had home time, he got irritated with the kids, which he never did before.

In November when he was home for Thanksgiving, he was holding his temper in because I noticed he was quiet, which he is very vocal.

Home for Christmas, he was fine. I think he didn't want to ruin anyone's Christmas. When he was home in later January for a few days, he started a verbal fight with my sister, then he calls me on the phone & chews me out for no apparent reason & none of us gave any provocation to get him started.

While I watched my sister's kids when him & her went to the supermarket, he was blowing up at this & that & even called the cashier a c**t because she forgot to put his orange juice in the bag.

When they got out into the car, my sister told me that she told him that was not necessary & let's talk about what's going on so I can help you through this & he snapped at her & said there's nothing wrong or going on, you are just imagining these things going on!

And he has told her many times that her friends are dumb & stupid (most of them have professional jobs like one is a registered nurse & the other is a nurse practitioner & another is a paralegal, but a few of them are stay-at-home moms like she is.

So on a social media site that both him & her are members, my sister noticed something one of his trucker friends did & said & she then told him now who is the dumb one & oh boy he got very defensive with her, did not return her phone calls or texts for a whole week.

The only reason he returned her calls is when she noticed he was posting how much of a great guy he is & how much he loves his family & of course everyone that clicked like or added a comment was his trucker friends.

Are there other wives or girlfriends of truckers going through this? I told my sister that it sounds like to me that his "family" is not her & the kids but the other truckers that he is talking to like in truck stops, etc. & it's possible he could be sleeping with someone which she has been suspecting but has no proof!

Any positive comments or advice would be greatly appreciated because as I said earlier, she does not have the money or the financial resources for marital counseling because I know his pay depends on the loads he gets!

But also the reason I am posting this is because I, too, am affected by his personality & transformations, that it makes me want to deck him but he is not worth going to jail over!

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Mar 30, 2014
FYI To sister in law of a trucker NEW
by: Anonymous

Trucking companies are not the only businesses that hire I guess you will be MORE worried about all the felon friendly places you visit on a regular basis....

like when you order food at all local fast foods and restaurants...

like most all the grocery stores you buy your food at...

like at all retail stores across the country that you visit to buy clothes etc...

like most all the warehouses that manufacture or package store items for the public.....

SEE'S Candies
Helen Grace Candies
Jelly Bellies Candies
Movie Theaters

are some of them, and thousands more businesses hire ex-felons.

You can bet there are a lot more felons surrounding you in your daily life than there are on the road as OTR drivers. dont know what your point was because that was not even part of any of the responses here?

You must be on

Mar 30, 2014
Always something with these guys NEW
by: Anonymous

To the lady that is married to a trucker for 25 years, I salute you. Maybe yours is an owner/operator, I don't know. But you mentioned about my brother-in-law getting off the road due to a possible meltdown. You mentioned about my brother-in-law getting off the road for the sake of yours & everyone else involved. My brother-in-law may have blowups but he is no felon or ex-felon & I understand that these trucking companies are the only employer that hires ex-felons! Now that would concern me more than blowups! Now my next door neighbor told me a story & it freaked me out. She noticed my sister & her kids coming & going from my house & she asked me about it & I told her & she told me that her daughter has a friend that used to be married to a trucker & she left him cold turkey for reasons I will state. First of all, her husband at the time, had a team driver that had no place to go when her husband had home time, so he would drop his teammate off at a cheap hotel because that is what his teammate wanted. Well she was noticing red rashes on her when she woke up, went to the doctor's & he informed her they were bedbug bites. She got rid of all the furniture & got new furniture. She couldn't afford an exterminator not at $5,000.00 especially with his pay! Well she got cured of the problem till 6 months later, it happened again. Well she can't afford to keep buying new furniture. She told her husband & of course he blamed it everyone except himself that he was the one that was responsible. She told her apartment manager for assistance in getting an exterminator & the manager told her flat right out that corporate that owns the complex will not foot the bill for this problem & she would have to put a notice in the building to everyone that a bedbug problem has been brought to her attention. She told the manager to keep it between her & them & she said she would not tell the other neighbors but the problem was with the maintenance man, he was a walkie talkie & he would tell everyone who had the problem. So instead of her facing extreme humiliation & animosity from her neighbors, she decided to leave her husband & go live with her mother. Now she no longer has to worry about this problem & she is much happier! Also she had to keep getting the keys to the residence replaced because her husband kept losing his keys while out on the road! He was acting more like a kid instead of a man & to believe he was driving one of those big rigs!!!

Mar 05, 2014
not for everyone NEW
by: Anonymous

True as it may be this lifestyle is NOT for everyone. It takes a lot of patience to be able to deal with it all. I know it wasn't easy for me at first however, I have less problems now and I have adjusted to it. 25 years and we are still going strong only now it is a lot of fun watching our grandchildren grow up! :) I am glad to hear your sister is smiling again that is whats most important!

Mar 03, 2014
My sister & her kids doing a lot better NEW
by: Anonymous

Yes, I am the sister that posted this site in re to my sister dealing with her husband. Well since I last posted this & my sister & the kids left him, let me tell you, they all have a big smile on their faces, they all seem more relaxed & in reference to comments from you guys - change of attitude - may not be happy or not at his company? Well I know he was a team driver & he did not care for his team driver 'cause the guy was not from the same city as we are, when he had hometime he had to drop his team driver off at a cheap hotel, no he was not making the money as he expected 'cause he listened to a friend that told him oh join trucking & you will make bundles of money like $10,000 a month YEAH RIGHT, he was lucky to get maybe $2,000.00 a month due to getting paid pennies a mile & the damn truck breaking down & being holed up in a hotel for close to a week! Resenting being away from home as much - I doubt that 'cause not all drivers but I think the majority of them join trucking to avoid & escape family responsibilities. My sister used to tell people that she was a single mom & basically she was telling the truth. Ironically my brother is a truck enforcement police officer & he has told us that it is sad to hear some of these drivers say to him when he pulls them over that hey us truckers have it made out here that basically we can get everything that we used to get at home out here - can sleep in the sleeper berth of the truck, showers & laundry at truck stops, we can get women either thru a lot lizard or at workers at truck stops & they find other drivers more interesting than their own wives or kids 'cause other drivers know the experience whereas the family does not! & my brother-in-law or I should say soon to be ex brother-in-law used to always start fights with my sister on the phone that really upset her, well no more! My brother did say that is a good indication of them having someone else out there when they do start fights with their girlfriend or wife! So my advice to any wife whose husband is about to become one is WIFE BEWARE!! Once they get a taste of the road & the life out there, it is all over for the marriage!!

Feb 11, 2014
... NEW
by: Anonymous

your a caring and loving sister. The pressures of the road is not for everyone. My guy has been a trucker for 25 years and displays none of these behaviors. So in my opinion it sounds as though he is ready for a meltdown and it would do everyone justice, your family, her family, and my family, and all the families who drive on the road when he does. This is serious and should not be taken lightly. Tell him to get some help,and if he is in denial I suggest to get the hell out....sorry for the bluntness, it is what it is....

Feb 11, 2014
May not be as bad as it seems NEW
by: Hervy

The good signs are that he was home for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Something to consider in his change of attitude is whether or not he is happy at the company he is driving at.

Also, if he is making the amount of money he expected to.

I also wonder if he resents being away from home so much.

Those things definitely causes problems in how some drivers see themselves and therefor their attitudes.

It seems that both could work on better relating and communicating their feelings. Since they can't afford counseling, a good book might help.

Download the free relationship material I have here, it might help also.

I commend you for trying to help with their relationship. Even if he won't work on his side, how she deals with can still help things get better.

For instance, if his self esteem is lacking because he is unhappy and not financially stable, knocking him down further will only make things worse. Building him up might help him to feel comfortable opening up and then they can communicate.

Just thoughts and ideas with the little information that I have.

Thinking about starting a call in line for relationships, what do you think?

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