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What is your feedback for a husband like this

by Tabitha
(Goldsboro, NC, usa)

I'm a wife of a truck driver, he have a been a truck driver over 15yrs,..we only been marry for two years,.. (only a month together before),..

I have three girls, not his of course and I am totally grateful for all he's doing for me and my girls,..but at the same times we argue a lot,..and I do what a wife must.

I don't know how many truck driver wife actually sit on the phone with their husbands 7-11hrs everyday,...to actually forsake all ,even family just to make him comfortable...don't get me wrong I love my husband.

I've submitted totally. Allow him to discipline my children, but I also feel as if we're not welcome here when he mention how he do it all and I don't actually have the room to ask for things or how I'm unable to speak, defend myself when he speak not truth things about me and my girls.

Truth is me and my girls is still growing who's not?...and my girls still trying to accept a man in their lives, mainly one like him.

I don't have No one to talk to but him ,and I can't talk to him because he's either taking it personal or judging me and end up telling me I can go or I'm disrespectful because I cut him off from speaking lies.

What to do what to do

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Oct 19, 2016
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Stand Up for yourself
by: Ice_Mystic

You need to take stock of your life and make some definite changes. How can you say you love a man who treats you like that. First off, What do you mean you've "submitted" seriously. Unless it is a mutually agreed upon lifestyle between two people, no one should be submitting to any one. I realize as a truckers wife, there is a lot of compromising - but it goes both ways.

Secondly, "discipline your children" in what way? is he home often or is he on the road? when he is home How long is he home for and what frequency? I'm sorry but this does not sound like a good situation for your children. If he is that disrespectful to you, what is he saying and doing to your kids self esteem and worth seeing their mother being treated so disrespectfully...

Thirdly; he tells you to go and disrespects you because you let him...he knows that you think you have nothing else but him, so he has you under his control. CHANGE THAT! Get a job if you don't have one, write down all your skills and see where you can market yourself...think outside the box...Are you a good cook, are you creative and crafty, can you sew, knit, crochet, type, good with numbers, like taking care of kids, Like to walk, like to walk dogs?? you might be surprised at how much you have to offer.

Try your local Library, Community Centre, Church (if you are so inclined), see if there are any free courses you can take to improve your skills.

Check with your local social services, find out where the closest women's shelter is and create an escape plan incase things get worse.

All in all, this does not sound like a good situation.

What did you do before you met him, how were you supporting yourself and your children?

These are just a few humble suggestions, obviously I do not have enough information about you or your hubby. But off the top of my head, this is what I got...

Good Luck

Oct 18, 2016
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Stand up
by: Hervy

Seems like you might be dependent upon him. I hope not but that is how it seems. If that is the case it also seems like you should do something to change that immediately.

Study something that enables you to earn income from home unless you can leave home and it is not an issue. Which would be better since you say you have no one to talk to.

You should not NEED to sit on the phone with a grown man for 7 hours or half of that. Seems that you are stress with all that is going on so if you can leave home, going to the gym or yoga class would do you a lot of good for your health and help you would meet other people in your community.

As far as that relationships, you two need counseling. Because what you describe is not normal. Of course we only get your side of the story but it sounds like he had very poor modeling of how to treat a woman or nurture a relationship. Also sounds like he might be abusive.

I am glad you are reaching out for input but I hope you will take some action. You shouldn't allow this same situation to be what you and your kids are living next year this time.

Once you are earning money, you will have more confidence and he will have more respect as well. And if he don't and doesn't change his attitude then what is the point of being in a marriage with someone that makes you miserable. (That is if you are miserable, I am putting myself i your shoes so that makes me a bit arrogant for saying how I think you should feel but take it like a grain of salt)

That said, if you are happy then what I am saying doesn't matter do it how you see fit. But if you are happy then I don't think you would be posting what you have posted.

And you mention, you have totally submitted. That is only supposed to happen for a man that treats a woman like a woman. You don't submit to a man who treats you like crap just because he is a man. (Or 'Christian' for that matter)

Best of luck. I hope you will change things. Even if he won't go to counseling, you should. It will help you get an outside person's perspective and input with more details.

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