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The irritable trucker

My boyfriend is an OTR driver. He is gone for 4 weeks then home for a week. Anyway, he and I talk every night and often times when we talk he is irritable, snippy with me and negative about everything.

He is completely different when he's home. He will be happy when he's home and then when he goes back on the road, after a day or two, he's short and snippy with me again. It's really hurting my feelings!

When I've tried to talk to him about it he gets very defensive. He almost acts angry that I would even bring it up. He says he's tired and that he doesn't sleep well on the road. Believe me I get this.

I know he works his butt off and is super tired. But I still don't feel like that's a reason to be short and sometime down right rude to me. Oh and apparently it's not only me he's like that too. He's been that way with his friends too.

I just know that the job is getting to him. The lack of sleep, the stress, etc. I appreciate what he's doing but what do I do about how he's acting towards me?

We love each other very much. But I know he's unhappy with the job and he's tired but he's taking it out on me. How do I handle this?

Any advice?

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Sep 04, 2016
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I struggle to help
by: Hervy

I hate that you are going through this. I see this and similar issue consistently.

The good thing about it is that you are mindful and understanding enough to know that it has to do with his level of dissatisfaction.

However, that doesn't make thinks a whole lot better when it continues. Especially if he still is in that environment under those conditions. Not only is is bad for the relationships and your own family happiness but also to his health.

I say continue not taking it personal. Obviously it is not you. However, do record his conversations and attitude. Put the best stuff that showcases his rude behavior together in a file.

One day when he comes home, after a nice dinner that you prepare, tell him you have something important to give him. Explain why it is important.

#1. His health is being affected
#2. The family is being affected
#3. The relationships is being affected
(# His money might be affected as well and if it isn't now, it could be affected later, due to bad habits developed to deal with stress such as over eating or others.)

Tell him the purpose of what you have done is not to nag him or complain but to help him see what the entire family has seen occur over and over and you ALL are concern.

Tell him you think he needs to find a company that makes him happy and you have proof of why that is true. (he might not even know how unhappy he is with the company anyway)

Play that audio to him of how he acts while on the road.

He will likely be amazed at listening to himself.
Hopefully, he will then be open to some type of resolution.

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Now, that is a template. You adjust it the way you see fit. My point is to record it and let him hear himself. You do the details based on your personality and how you 2 get along. But if you are nagging and complain and saying I told you so, it's not going to be effective. The objective is not to be right or prove a point. It is to draw attention to an issue and come together on a resolution to solve it.

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Now my general response to you and other people reading this.

What allows this type of thing to go on is lack of personal development. What I mean is this, he doesn't even see his behavior. So how or when will he change it?

Yet when I talk about attitude, behavior, and relationships most people don't read it. They just go to jobs.

There are pages on this site with links to resources. People don't use them.

I have a CD where I talk about attitude and personal development. It's called taking trucking to the next level. I might have sold about 3!

I have a FREE download that mentions a lot of this stuff. It rarely gets downloaded.

So if people won't do what they can to improve who they are as a person, they are stuck with doing what they know based on what they have either been 'taught' or have picked up.

That is not sufficient because we are not perfect and most of us did not have perfect upbringing either. So we are out here doing things to ourselves and our loved ones that we probably don't even realize. Our choices often times work against our desire outcome. We don't even realize. The effects of marketing, advertisement and our past experience all contribute to us going through life like robots not fully aware of what is behind our thoughts, behavior and choices.

It is important to be a consumer of personal development material. The CD that I created was specifically to address this. I admit, I have not pushed it hard. I don't like selling. I admit that I don't talk about it much, some of you don't know about it.

So I will have a link at the end of this post.

One thing that wives can do is purchase the CD themselves and give it to him. I am not saying it is a miracle or a pill but who knows it might help give him a perspective from another angle that helps him see things from your perspective.

However, I also give you the situation from his perspective as well.

That was the reason for the relationships tracks.

But that is not ALL the CD is about. It talks about how the driver filters things that occur at work. It talks about mental health, physical health, how to be positive minded, how to be mindful of your actions, how to make more money, and a lot of other stuff.

You can get the CD for only $15. People won't pay $15 to get information that could help improve their lives. I don't understand that.

I will tell you a secret. I spent 1,000's of dollars to improve the way I look at life. I spend 100's of hours reflecting and developing a new way of thinking.

It is one of the reasons that I took action and put this website together. A different way of thinking.

It is the reason that I fully enjoyed trucking. A different attitude than many people.

If you like the information on the site, you will like the information on the CD. If there is good information on the website, then there is good information on the CD. If there is a perspective here that you see being helpful then you will appreciate the perspective I take on the topics covered on the CD.

Buy the CD and it will help with a lot of issues. I am only pushing the CD because it will help avoid issues and help deal with issues.

I can't address every single problem that comes up, but many of those issues can be addressed simply by looking at them in a different way. Actually looking at life in a different way. That is what you learn on the CD.

You can learn it from the website as well, if you have the time to read the pages concerning the aspects of trucking. I realize that it takes time to read. I don't even like reading all of the time. Again, that's why I created a CD. So it could be convenient and also given away like to a spouse who needs it and might listen to a CD that is a gift but not read if suggested.

So here is the pitch. lol.

One way to help improve life as a trucker is to buy this CD
Taking Trucking To the Next Level

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