My husband has been driving for 2 years now and when he first started driving we were married 25 years, so now we are married 27 years.
Well my co-workers/friends told me when he first started the job that I would have my whole life turned around and they just about gave me an instruction manual on dealing with this type of lifestyle because 2 of the co-workers/friends have been married to this type and they are both divorced and have remarried but their new husbands are not OTR truck drivers.
I told them that no I would not have problems because for the last 25 years mine has been great, he helps me with the housework and we have our disagreements, which is usual for married people.
Well the first year of him driving OTR, went fine without any problems; thereafter it went downhill from there. I always have been a supportive wife making sure his needs were met.
Well the first year he came home for home time every 2 months, after the first year then it got to every 3-4 months for home time and spending 4-5 days home and each and every time it was a battlefield. When he was home last week for Thanksgiving, the first 2 days were ok, I get out of the shower and I asked him a question and he blew up at me yelling very angrily for no reason, so I have no idea if he took a phone call or message from someone.
Well since I was told by my experienced ex-wives of OTR truck drivers, that it is reality that these guys love being on a truck because they can cheat and not get caught and I do see postings where women post on here that they have found husbands cheating and having babies from other women.
Well I told my husband when he blew up at me for no reason and we live in a condo so the neighbors had to hear his big foul-mouth yelling and screaming and saying the F bomb with it, I told him we need to talk and he says we don't have a mother f****ing f***ing thing to discuss so of course I defended myself and yelled back and told him don't you dare speak to me like that and I asked him if he was having an affair, I did not come out and say for a fact that he was cheating, well he said oh there you go saying I am cheating, my friends said sounds like typical behavior they went thru with their ex-husbands for admission of guilt.
When he was on the road we didn't talk much on the phone even when I got home from work during the night or on the weekends, he would tell me he was tired or when we did talk, it was not that long.
Well during this last chaotic year with him, I notice when I get the phone records in the mail, I see a phone # that he calls about a dozen times a day and night and some of these conversations are up to 3 hours for 1 of the calls, he told me that it is another driver and they talk about loads and when I asked him why don't him and I talk like that and he said he gets my voicemail and I told him when I am at work I cannot be on my cell phone talking to him and I said well that other guy you are getting his voicemail and he said no way, well I showed him the records because I was hurt that he seems to want to talk to this driver more than his wife of 27 years.
And after I showed him the proof, he went ballistic because he knew that records do not lie. What really hurt over the weekend, he never slept with me or touched me and he had his truck parked at one of the terminals because according to the condo rules he is unable to park his truck in the parking lot so he had to take the train to get to the terminal so he called the train station to see if he could leave earlier than expected and he did.
I asked him why and he claims oh it is easier on Sunday because the driver to take him to the terminal has about a dozen runs to pick up students. Well if he knew that before he booked his ticket he should have arranged that with the train. I feel that when I was in that damn shower, a phone call or message was made by him or somebody else to him. And he sure did rush out of here.
Well Sunday night I called to see if he made it to the terminal ok and what I heard from him was very hurtful words telling me that it is over, we are through, we are done. Well if we are through, then it must be that he has someone. This is what I mean by me saying a sneaky secret lifestyle.
He tells me that he is not cheating on me but like my friends told me if he's not cheating, then why in the hell is he saying after 27 years of marriage that we are done, we are through, we are done unless he has someone.
For all I know when he parked the truck at the terminal, there could have been a girl in waiting for him because at a terminal she has laundry facilities, showers, get something to eat, bathrooms and my friends said that in all probability it was a girl that worked at a truck stop that got fired or quit and latched onto a married man to be a sucker to take her in, and she rides with him because he also said that he is going to stop sending his check to the bank so all expenses like rent, utilities, car insurance, etc fall entirely on me.
And this bullcrap about them not having the time, well they do do a 34 hour reset where they are not driving, well in a 34 hour period, that is plenty of time to have fun! And when he did leave Sunday, all I got was a quick little kiss on the cheek saying bye but he picked up the cat and gave the cat a hug and a kiss and told the cat he loved the cat. I just can't believe that I lost my husband to the ways of OTR trucking either with the girl or him preferring to talk to this guy that he just met a year ago.
I tried reasoning with him to have us talk on the phone and all I get is the same old we are done, we are through, our marriage is over and what gets me before he came home he told me over and over how much he loves me and misses me and then he blows up like a supervolcano yelling, cursing, and ranting.
I hope there are wives out there especially new ones that may not see the other woman with the trucking husband but if you notice these personality changes, you start to get suspicions, so someone changed my husband out there, either some bimbo or this guy that he talks to rather than me and I just got a message on my phone saying he is quitting this job and not coming home.
I should reply back for him to grow up and he needs psychiatric help. I am hurt and confused because his issues have me totally hurt and confused. One of my friends said to tell him to not let the doorknob hit him where the good Lord split him.
I understand that nothing helps these types of guys, you can't reason with them and therapy will not work because their brains are in their pants. And the way he kept looking at my breasts the whole time, he looked like a crazy person, a sex addict. I was even told that don't get sick or get tired because sex seems to dominate these guys so they will want sex 99.9% of the time and have no regards or care if you are sick or tired and I am now finding him like that!
This site should be called Trucker's spouse instead of Trucker wives because I know there are women truckers out there married but I sure don't see the husbands of these women truck drivers with complaints, it is only the wives so it must be a male driver thing and my friend just reminded me of a post she saw last year about seeing on here where a driver had his wife on the truck and he waited till they were a long way from home and he dumped the wife and the dog at some truck stop and then he proceeded to go his way, unbelievable!
And even though my friends are ex-wives of OTR truck drivers, they still check this site to see how many more wives have complaints out there to support their belief in that most of these wives are treated terribly by husbands that are trying to cover up them having an affair!!
All I know is I do not deserve him treating me like I am a stranger that is hated , I am his wife but that is no more and he said I need to find someone but he tells me he's not cheating! If he never became an OTR truck driver, I would not be dealing with this bullcrap!!
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