sleepless in the hoosier state

by Ginny
(Indiana)

My husband has been a truck driver for the past 15 years. Going down this road has been tough. We have 5 children. Our oldest is 21 and is a Marine.

Our youngest is 3.

If I could do it all over again I would not let him go into trucking. I wouldn't have married him. I am not the type of person who does well without the love protection and support of a man.

Yet I found myself in a situation on my own every time he would leave for 3 weeks at a time be home for the weekend and then gone again.

I have terrible trust issues. I always feel he will stray because he is out for so long at times and when he comes back home I don't even want to be with him because the stress at home with my kids is just too much.

My two boys were always all the stuff country boys were made of!! If there was trouble around, it would find them. We lived in the country so I had no friends. Amish folks were my neighbors.

My family lived in another state and I had no help from them until I was at my breaking point. I really didn't want my family to know I couldn't handle everything on my own.

The stress I felt was so high I couldn't enjoy so many times with my kids. The loneliness I felt after I would finally put the kids to bed was so overwhelming. I spent many nights scared and lots of tears on my pillow.

Many times thru out the years I wanted to find a man that didn't travel 100% for his job. I needed help and I needed my loneliness to go away.

So much more I could say but I am starting to feel sad. I should write a book! Don't marry a truck driver unless you are willing to do everything on your own!
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Response: Write the book. Get a notebook or crank up the computer and write the book.

1. It's therapeutic, it grants you clarity, and it could give you something POSITIVE to focus on which could also provide you money to help you which gives you less to worry about.

2. Does he know how you feel. I mean really know.

3. Get to the bottom of your trust issues. Talk to someone about how to resolve them and about how to eliminate worry.

Worry does nothing to help you deal with this or find happiness. In fact it's eating away at all that you have. Find out how to live about it.