Not sure how to bring up the subject of ask him to quit his OTR trucking job

by Sue
(Illinois)

Hi Ladies,

I am a woman whose husband has been OTR for about 8 months now. After reading so many heartbreaking stories from others like me, I know I'm not alone in dealing with the pain and suffering of living without him.

We have been everything to each other since meeting many years ago. We are each others best friend, confidant, support person, and greatest love.

I have found myself falling deeper and deeper into depression every time he has to leave. We don't have children and we live in an area without close friends to turn to in times of loneliness.

Basically I go to work during the day and come home to an empty house where the silence is deafening.

I've tried making new friends through meet-up groups, social networking, church, etc., but it never seems to take. So many people are busy with their own lives, kids, husbands, and careers, that making new friends doesn't seem to be a priority for them.

For the past several months I've been dealing with some pretty serious health issues which has made the depression even worse. I become overwhelmingly afraid of being alone when not feeling well.

I usually reach out to my husband at that time which is difficult for him as well. He feels terrible being away when I need him most.

Financially we are in pretty good shape. I'd really like him to quit his trucking job and find something locally, but I don't know how to bring up the subject without sounding completely and utterly selfish.

I've rarely had trouble talking to him about any subject, but this time I'm at a loss. My medical issues could easily take my life at any time and it breaks my heart to think of spending so much time apart in what may be the last years of our lives together.

Has anyone else had a similar experience in asking their husband to quit trucking? How did you bring it up? How did he react? What was the ultimate outcome?

Comments for Not sure how to bring up the subject of ask him to quit his OTR trucking job

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Oct 23, 2012
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For Hunter
by: Sue in Illinois

I could feel the heartbreak in your words...I'm so very sorry you're in such pain. While it's comforting to know there are others going through the same difficulties, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

I hope you find peace and joy in the days ahead...

Healing hugs ((((((HUGS)))))))))

Sue in Illinois

Oct 23, 2012
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i know how you feel
by: Hunter

I have been alone for 2 years now. The worse thing to happen to our marriage was this OTR job. I have Lupus and some days im so weak and in pain I just want my husband home at night. He wont hear of leaving the job. He put this job over us and our home. He thinks Im wrong to complain and thinks I should just adjust to this way of life. Im hitting 50 and i feel so abandon sometimes. He doesn't need me like I need him.

Oct 01, 2012
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Honesty
by: alonetoo

Please ask him now! He will need time to process, and to find something else. Prepare yourself, though. In my case, I found out I was not as important as I had hoped or thought I was.

Write a letter sharing your thoughts and hopes. That will allow you time to consider your words, and he will have time to process.

Reread the articles here about what men should do to do their part. That should give you the encouragement to bring up the subject. There ARE local jobs, dedicated runs, and compromises that can easily be made where he's still driving, but not gone as much. In many cases the money is still the same. Have him apply for his HAZMAT, if he doesn't have it already. Higher paying jobs, less hours away.

Please do this now! The longer he's on the road, the harder, colder he will become. Mine is like a zombie now. He can't feel anything. The only person who matters anymore is HIM. Please don't let that happen.

Best of luck to you.

Sep 13, 2012
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You are special
by: Anonymous

You are so very welcome and I hope you make a go of it to relieve your mind, you will feel so much better when your questions are answered!

God Bless you! :)
Helonwheels

Sep 12, 2012
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Thanks...
by: Sue in Illinois

Sorry to hear you're having some of the same experiences; it's never something we're quite prepared to deal with.

Thank you for giving me things to consider. I really appreciate your input.

Take care,

Sue

Sep 11, 2012
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I am sorry for your news on health
by: Anonymous

I understand how you feel. For the first time in my life I was worried about the same thing you are now going through. What happens when we get to an age or illness that we need someone around to help us! I have never experienced this fear before.

Fear can lead to depression and depression can lead to your illness/condition to become even worse. I can suggest to you many things but that is all.

You will need to sit down and have a talk with self before you are even able to receive any suggestions from anyone.

Your best interest is what is at stake here and you can only look out for you no one is able to do this for you.

If you have not spoken to your mate about all of this and leaving nothing out, I think now is the time to do so or forever hold your peace.

If he is that soul mate you speak of he will think as you do, knowing you need him now should not be of any surprise to him it will be an automatic that he be by your side.

If not then you will have to look at the bigger picture and find a way to help yourself and if you sit and wait to ask him to help and be by your side you will never get your answer.

God Bless and best of wishes!
Helonwheels

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