New to the "trucking" world

by April

I am not a "trucker's wife" but rather a girlfriend of one who swore up and down that I'd never get involved with someone who wasn't home every night. Well, here I am. I still have mixed feelings about this whole lifestyle but I'm hanging in there and got involved in a support group. It has been gutwrenching to say the least for many reasons. I watch the man that I am so in love with, drive away for days and weeks at a time and left to sit and wonder how he could do this if he loved me. I know the guys OTR have a rough life too. I have come to realize that they live in a cab with minimal necessities, waking up in strange places often wondering where they are when they wake up, showering in dirty facilities, often eating fast food, etc. but we as a trucker's wife live in a home that has to be maintained while our DH is on the road, kids that have to be cared for, bills that have to be paid, I myself also have an 9-5 job with 2 hours of drive time each day.... granted we wake up in a bed and have a clean facilities, home cooked meals, conveniences that you guys don't but the bottom line is we do it all alone. We also wake up alone, take showers alone, eat dinner alone....... We miss you guys while you're gone, and it's hard. We resent you when something goes wrong and then ask ourselves why we go through this and then we remember why we fell in love with him in the first place. When our DH finally does come home he wants to sleep or watch t.v. which doesn't leave much time for "us" but I do make sure that he is well cared for while he is home. I haven't found any positive in this whole trucking thing yet other than he has a sense of pride for having a job and being able to support the bills. The hardest part for me is worrying about who he will meet while he's out there on the road. I often wonder if he misses me as much as I do him or if he understands how hard this is for me knowing that the man who is supposed to "be there in good times and bad" is never there. It takes a special woman to live life as a trucker's wife but it also takes a special man to live like this just to support his family. I have a new found respect for both sides of this lifestyle. Would love to have another trucker as a pen pal to gain more insight into what goes on in your lives and in your heads while you're OTR.

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Jan 22, 2009
So very well said
by: Jennifer Schnittker


My hat is off to you. That was so very well stated, and so very well put. You are headed in the right direction with your thought process and "stepping outside of your box." It is so very hard to do.

I can say this with all conviction. It does get a bit easier as the time goes bye. When Keith started, we almost divorced, over the very situations you are talking about. The loneliness in everything that is done. Waking, sleeping, eating, bill paying, care taking. On and on.

yesterday, I lost a loved family member, my daughter came down with the OMG "lice", and I lost a 500.00 puppy from a new born litter of Mini-Schnauzers. I was quite surprised at my lack of attitude towards my husband. 6 months ago, I would likely have had my bags packed, and moved on.

Today I can proudly say. "I dealt with it."

It is hard not having that "someone there". Especially with yourself working, and being gone 11 hours a day. I did that for 3 months. I finally said "Listen, I have had no choices regarding your career, and this is totally unfair". I work, I clean, I care, I cook, I do it all. My resentment was astronomical.

Finally, I got laid off, and was relieved that I did not get called back. If they would call me back, the answer would be no. I do miss my husband. But sometimes too much on ones plate is just too much. Do what you can to take care of YOU--because with out you--there is no support system.

Please feel free to contact me, Julie and I met via this site, and its kind of like our own little support group- Would love to include you as well

Very best of luck to you April, and remember, keep your chin up. It does get easier--well at least more familiar.


Jan 22, 2009
April is lonely in Mich
by: Jimmy

Hi again, April. Sounds like you're really missing him. If your relationship moves forward, and he stays in trucking, this is what it will be like. You need to understand that. And you're right, when he comes home, he doesn't want to do much other than relax and rest up. You can e/mail me if you want and I'll be your pen pal to try to answer any questions. I'm retired with loads of time on my hands. E/mail is Jimmy

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