Mentally sick or influenced by undesirables

My husband has been trucking for close to a year which was against my wishes but he only went to trucking because he has problems working with authority figures & probably has a personality disorder because he got fired from 2 jobs & a friend of his suggested that he is better off doing trucking because you don't have a supervisor over you.

Since he has been trucking I have noticed several changes in his personality & even my neighbor friend has noticed.

We live in an apartment complex & we have a new property manager & my husband does not like her because she allows the one maintenance guy get away with not doing work.

My husband said to me on the phone that she is nothing but a c**t, the 4 letter C word & he has never used that word but on the other hand he never called the maintenance guy a p***k, the 5 letter word for a guy & I told him I did not appreciate his mouth.

My neighbor friend who I have been friends with since my husband took up trucking has told me she does not like my husband & she is a divorcee with a 11 year old daughter, the same age as my daughter & they are good friends.

My friend is a school teacher & her daughter has stayed over my place while her mom spent time with her boyfriend & she told me her daughter feels nervous around my husband.

Well my friend just told me my husband is either a mentally sick monster or he is getting influenced by others out there & she has also told me that she can bet my husband is with women, either lot lizards or female drivers by what my husband did these past couple of days.

We had a disagreement on the phone this weekend that passed & I did not answer the phone when caller ID showed it was him. He then leaves nasty toned voicemails.

I have told him I will not be dominated or controlled by him & he will not speak to me in a disrespectful tone, he totally ignores my wishes. He left me a nasty text saying it's over, he will call the phone carrier & shut off my phone & then have $300.00 taken out of his pay for him every week.

I showed that to my friend & she said Bingo, I told you he had others, probably got someone pregnant, & my friend said to me that she believes wholeheartedly that guys become OTR truckers to play the field because no way will they be caught!

Also I have had several phone calls to my phone which I did not answer because the screen said restricted but left voicemails & no one said anything but after a few seconds they hung up.

Now may I remind you again my friend is a school teacher & she had several courses in psychology & one was abnormal psychology & she said my husband is definitely abnormal!

I have done nothing to push him to this point of being this way. And please do not tell me marriage counseling because I do not have the money or the time & my friend went to one & she said all they do is take your money, sit & listen & have a timer set for 50 minutes & she did this for 12 weeks & still the counselor sat quietly rocking away in his chair listening to her & she spent $50.00 co-pay each week & she never got anything resolved!

Oh & by the way, my husband after he wrote that, he had the gall to say that I know damn well he loves me! If he loved me, he would have never threatened me.

I have nowhere to go with my daughter as I am the only child & my parents are both dead because they both died in a car accident.

My friend found out for me that since my husband does not physically abuse both my daughter & I, it'll be really hard to go to a shelter or get a restraining order. I am at my wit's end!

Has any other wife or girlfriend had similar problems? My husband is not thinking how this affects me toward him meaning my husband is the type to talk like this but expect me to be loving to him in bed, if anything it'll make me cringe & wanna barf if he touches me!

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Nov 16, 2015
really??? NEW
by: Anonymous

Not every trucker driver is the stereotypical cheating driver maybe you should focus more on being a good wife that he would want to come home to rather then accuse him of something like that. My fiance has needs but I'm the type of girl he wants to come home to because I'm supportive and understanding trucking life isn't for everyone and you seem like the type of person that it isn't for.

Oct 30, 2014
All of you gotta be kidding me NEW
by: Anonymous

Well everyone is entitled to their own opinion & to the female trainer to call my neighbor friend a jackass is typical wording from a trucker, first of all she is a highly educated college grad that teaches special Ed students who also gets daily showers, unlike you being on the road! Now before you all jump the gun here, something came up regarding my husband after I posted this & that is he text me yesterday saying he was sending a video that I could not download & it was about his leg, he told me he woke up the other morning & his whole leg was black & blue, now I talked to my daughter's school nurse & she asked me if he fell, I told her no, well she said to me what could he be hauling on his legs, so much that he not know how it got bruised, secondly if his tone of voice has changed, so has he, as for not speaking to him as much as you want & the way he talks now may be his guilt & putting it all on me meaning she says it sounds like he is with a woman, she knows, she is divorced from one, & she said how would he react if I had bruise marks on me, he would jump all over me, any man who travels the road is not celibate, they have needs, so he needs to stop fooling me she said, she told me I am a younger her, she has been there with her guy who she divorced, so she knows firsthand, she said who knows that my guy probably got someone preggers, & to the female trainer, you say about lot lizards, well there is ALWAYS getting with a female driver, or someone that works at a truck stop because there are women out there that find truckers sexy, yeah right, they are no Brad Pitt looking, & also maybe I need to mention something I omitted & that is since my husband became a trucker, God I hate that word, I prefer truck driver, well anyhow, when he had home time, he became controlling & demanding in bed & he wanted to tie me spreadeagled to the bed, now I was told that is typical behavior of these guys & that he would be pretending to assault me, well that did not happen, but here is a summary of my comment & again I seem to have to repeat myself & apparently you all ignored some facts:
1) my husband calls the manager the C word but never calls the maintenance crew a derogatory name because why they are guys?
2) my neighbor friend you call a jackass, well she has no respect & regard for truck drivers
3) her 11 year old daughter does not like my husband, she feels very uncomfortable around him, wonder why? I asked her & she told me she gets bad vibes from him
4) you mention you can get fired being with a lot lizard, that may be true, but when they have to do a 34 hour reset at a truck stop, there's also female drivers, like yourself, that could put the moves on these guys because it is lonely out there, so you don't have to be a lot lizard to give a std & speaking of that, a few people have told me he probably got the severely bruised leg from messing with the wrong person & they put a beating on him & my husband won't tell me the truth, possibly getting mouthy with another guy or some guy body slamming him due to him trying to mess with the guy's woman
5) these guys are OTR, they have needs

Also, first of all, I am NOT another non-supportive wife that has personal issues that I am putting onto my husband, the complete opposite, if I do have personal issues, he gave them to me & I can see coming from a female trucker why you would say that because you totally support others like you out there, give me a break, & if you have negative comments about the nurse or the teacher neighbor, consider this, she is a college grad, now if you are a college grad, then why you doing trucking? Be there for him, why? He's not there for me! Me & my neighbor has this new guy that moved into the building, he found out from one of the maintenance crew that my husband is on the road, the guy knocked on my door, told me if I need ANYTHING he's there for me & that once I was with him, I would NEVER go back to my husband, now this is where the major fight came in, when my husband called me on his break, I told him I was ticked & he called the one guy who started the rumor & he told my husband he never told this guy but on the other hand no one told this Romeo guy, my husband believed this maintenance guy over this neighbor which whom he never met, my husband became very demanding with me when I disagreed with him, we have not talked in one week, why because he wants me to be a submissive woman & that I am not! Grow up, I am grown up, my husband has 1 child, our daughter, but I have 2 children, my daughter & my husband, who is the youngest. There was a mention about telling my neighbor not to come over because she's non-supportive, she speaks the truth & is straightforward! For me to text, call or talk to him & let him know I made a mistake listening to her - what a laugh & a half - first of all I never told him & whatever she feels, she's got a gut feeling about him, but it was ok for him to call women that derogatory name. Someone brought up that my husband's personality is that of ANY trucker, well that explains why they get the negativity & yes they are completely in a different world & your typical person does not know. Making a sacrifice for me, yeah ok, where? Ride with him, not with an 11 year old in school & he's a team driver. Mention from another commentor to never allow anyone to disrespect your husband but it is ok for him to disrespect others, like again, he got nasty with me & I sure don't need him to be a control freak leaving nasty toned voicemails & I bet he's getting influenced by the other guys! So before you all judge me & my neighbor friend, you all need to look at my husband's unacceptable behavior & oh also here is another admission of guilt, he sends a text saying for me to get with my new neighbor & the maintenance crew! Now I believe I made myself clear now, & if you all are still on my husband's side, well then that is your typical mentality thinking! Even my daughter is not phased about him not calling, because my daughter heard his nasty toned voice & my daughter is most definitely a momma's girl & my daughter said she is glad he's gone & does not like how he's talking, so if anyone is disrespectful is him, as always!

Oct 30, 2014
Grow up and support your man NEW
by: Female Trainer & Lead Druver

You're just another non-supportive wife that has personal issues that you're puttin onto your husband. I have seen this many times, and shame on you and all wives and girlfriends that behave in such a way!

Trucking is a terribly dangerous and lonely job, and all you have to do is be there for him! Instead you're listening to some jackass who doesn't know the first thing about him, you, your marriage and may be a complete loon! Shame on you! Honey, grow up, seriously!

This job is demanding, we work continuously and when we arent working, we're stressing because we aren't at home with our loved ones! Lot Lizard?? Seriously??? Everyone knows that the quickest way to get an STD or get killed is having anyone get Into your truck, as well as fired.

Instead of being childish and immature, tell your neighbor to not come over anymore, she's a horrible, non-supportive female that has her own adgenda. And you? Text, call or talk to your man and let him know that you made a mistake listening to her and you love him and will be there for him.

I'm so fortunate to have my man! He loves me, is there for my calls and texts, and when I get home, has romantic dinners waiting for me as soon as I step out of the shower, that he's cooked himself! And OUR TIME is incredible!!! I'm so in love and so happy, though leaving is always very difficult. It's this type of support, love and understanding that we pro-drivers need. 24/7!

Oh and swearing is normal, you should hear me!!

Oct 30, 2014
No understand of what it takes and NEVER should let others interfere! NEW
by: Anonymous

I think your neighbor friend needs to stay in her own business. Sounds to me like your husband's personality is that of ANY trucker out there. It is a completely different world than the typical person knows. Coming from a line of truckers, having driven myself, and being married to a trucker I get this... a lot of other women don't. As for your husband being controlling? I don't think so. You had a disagreement, and then YOU refused to answer his calls. I don't think you realize what it is like for them out there. The loneliness, the longing to be home with you, just as much IF NOT MORE than you want him there. And to have the one normal thing in his life, the one person in the world he is making the sacrifice of being out there for, ignore him? That's disrespectful no matter what the reason. Maybe you need to go ride with him for a couple weeks, then you'll understand. And maybe YOU need to take a long look at your self and whether or not you are a strong enough person to have what it takes to love, support, respect, encourage, and praise him. Being a trucker's wife isn't for everyone... especially those that allow someone else to talk bad about the husband they claim to love. I would NEVER allow ANYONE to disrespect my husband. If that was my neighbor "friend"... they wouldn't be after the first negative word came out of their mouth!

Oct 29, 2014
if u still live him talk to him NEW
by: Anonymous

I understand some of what u r saying but u may not want to listen to what other people say. It is really not their business. The issue is between u and your husband. If u still live your husband talk to him. Find out what is going on. It may be that he is stressed out. Don't automatically think he is cheating on you. Also about the language - most truck drivers talk like that and worse! Remember when he us in the road he is at truck stops and is probably interacting with other truck drivers. If u feel that there is still hope for your marriage please talk to him. Try to have a date night with just the two of you. And tell ur "friend" to stay the hell out of it. If u think that your marriage is over than u should find a way to get out u r a strong woman I can tell and if ur marriage is over then u will find a way to get out of that situation

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