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Loved so much and alone

by Amy
(Roanoke, virginia)

My husband is a truck driver and has been for 25 yrs. We've only been married a Lil over a year but been in relationship for 3yrs. He is gone 2 weeks at a time and home 2 or 3 then 2 weeks again. I trust him completely but I left my home town and moved to his where I don't know anyone, it's very hard not having him at home its lonely but I don't think of cheating. I love him so much but it feels like I live alone.

I wish he was home more. I really do. When he is gone on the road he wants to control everything like who I'm talking to where I been , now he is even watching how much money I spend. My advice is to not become the wife of a truck driver.

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Dec 02, 2015
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It takes a very special woman... NEW
by: Anonymous

... to be the wife of an OTR truckdriver.

There are things that you can learn to do. Think of wives of firefighters. Watch the movie "Ladder 39" with John Travolta and Joaquin Phoenix.

You arent the only one who has these troubles, but there are indeed women with children who have it worse.

This life ain't easy no matter how you slice it.

Join a gym, make a circle of friends. Don't dwell on things.

You may find that as you get older, you like being in the position of control, because, afterall, you rule the roost when he's gone, and pretty soon you will rule it even when he's home... and he will know it.

You will be a powerful woman. A woman who can overcome any obstacle. A woman who can direct her children (albeit often alone) but you can take control almost like a female President.

Your perspective on this will dictate everything.

I wouldnt suggest you take the "Woe is me" routine. He is putting food on your table, no? Paying the bills?

Now, put yourself in his shoes.

We dont' like to talk about it, but let me tell you, we have our moments out here on the road also. Total disconnection. Fear we wont make it home again. Weather. Traffic. Morons on the road that we babysit even in our sleep.

Its enough to pull a man off of the road and try to take a local trucking job, which really is a huge mistake. More work, more traffic, LESS quality home time (because you are only home to sleep) and you probably will get called to work (whether you work or not) on the weekends, which really stresses you out when you are trying to enjoy those few moments with your family.

One day you will blink and this will all be past. He will be home. He will be worn out. You will be dictating everything. You will be together so much that you will wish he was trucking again.

It really is a "Catch-22"

I understand that as a younger woman you have certain needs for companionship, etc... that is natural, but give it time. Maybe that's what you are worried about is the time you "seem" to be losing.

That is just an illusion. It's fleeting by regardless of how you might think it has slowed its pace.

Be strong. Get a "Truckers Wife" T-shirt.

You are a special breed, even if not by choice.

Maybe one day you too will drive with him as either a team driver, or you will work for the same company and get some runs together.

You will see that the road can be as innocent or as filthy as you allow it to be.

Nobody can make you do anything that you do not want to do.

I've be OTR for over 35 years. My wife and I went through all this also. I suspect every trucker's wife does at some point.

But, we made it. Kids are good. Grandkids good. I'm still holding that steering wheel. Life is much more chill... well, it is cold out here, but life is much more relaxed.

That's all I can really say because I do have sympathy and empathy for you women. You are strong. Youve gone to the front lines.

Be proud of it!!

There will be some women here that will tell you that you need to find another man and all that crap. My advice? Don't listen.

Stay Strong ~

We are the Asphalt Cowboys and we really can't do this without a strong support system back home, believe it or not...

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