Is being a trucker's wife really all that bad?

by Frank
(St Louis)

Married while trucking

Married while trucking

I want to drive a rig for a living and my wife is against it and from reading so many of the posts I can see why. But isn't it the man or the woman that makes the difference and not really the career?

Come on there has to be some good out there.

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Apr 26, 2016
when the wife is completely against it
by: Hervy

Frank, if your wife is completely against it, I would try this....

Do the numbers. What do you expect to earn based on the companies average annual salary for new drivers.

How much of that can be saved for the goal amount? How long will it take to reach that amount? How you will transition out of the OTR to local when the goal is reached? Most importantly, why what you are proposing it is beneficial for the family?

Before you do that though,

Find local trucking companies and what they pay and where they run. Talk to drivers there to see if they like it. (you can find out when they get off and be there or something, just figure that out)

In other words do your research on the local companies so when you go to your wife, she knows that you have done your research and your plan will be more powerful.

Also, you might want to have a plan to show her for how you both will keep the relationship strong. Also, if you know exactly which part of the scenario she hates most, research how to negate that concern.

Now here is the most important thing, if you care about your relationship in my opinion. (which it seems obvious that you do) If there is no benefit to the relationship and you ONLY want to go trucking because it was a long time desire or dream. It's not an good idea to go.

If you only want to go to find a new freedom from the current situation, you REALLY shouldn't go. (I mention that because that is why some guys do it.)

The time to pursue those things are when you are single or when those type of things don't damage the current stage of your life. (in other words unless your mate is compatible with your dreams or they don't cause conflict) Getting married means that you two agree on big decisions that changes the whole dynamic of the relationship.

Many guys don't want to hear that. And the only reason I feel confident in my opinion is because all you have to do is put the shoe on the other foot.

Suppose your wife wanted to do something selfish and self centered that didn't help the family in any way AND you didn't agree with and didn't fit with your vision of being married. But she did it anyway. How would you feel?

So, that is something for you to consider and is your decision to make one way or another. I just want you to see the big picture. I have been reading and about relationships of truckers for about 10 years and talking to drivers about it before that. What I have said is based on what I think I learned from those experiences.

Apr 22, 2016
by: Frank

Thanks for the responses, my wife is really dead set against it and it has been something I have wanted to do for more then 10 years. I would like to start off OTR and then maybe in a year or two find sonething dedicated where I can get home every other day.

Apr 22, 2016
by: Anonymous

I agree completely with this reply! Also take it account that form a man's point of view, and experience that going into trucking is like climbing Mt. Everest ( see the movie). There is no place for half commitment, either "hammer done" , or don't get it the truck. I LOVE my profession, and have meet others who would do nothing else! People will always have bitchings, and disputings no matter the job. It is not the job, but the outlook of the individual. There are challenges, and adaptations to make, but for everything there is a solution. When choosing a company look for a terminal that is close to home, and one that does 2 week rotation like Knight Transportation. If you can follow this you will be surprised how often you are home!

Apr 21, 2016
Your have hit the nail on the head it depends on the man AND the woman
by: Hervy

The experience depends on 3 things.

1. The person leaving to become a trucker has researched to determine if he or she is compatible for a career in trucking.

This includes, reflecting on the state of the relationships. The personality of both people. The needs of the kids. The independence of the person left home. Level of trust in the relationship, etc.

2. The type of attitude of the couple. For instance, are they proactive in nurturing the relationship? Do assume that they can make it work, no matter what obstacle they face or do they ball up in a knot at the first challenge and assume it is a sign of what to come. In other words see things through a negative lens or a positive one.

3. The couple has some type of plan about the future. For instance, how long will you drive? What is the possible next steps for going deeper into trucking or transitioning out of it. Or maybe there is a point in which that decision is made, like say after 3 yrs or 2.

Others things come into play but if the first three are on point they figure out or already do the other things like....

Have a budget so the bills are paid
Consider health and form good habits...
Take care of license/record...
Research trucking companies that fit your needs...

There are plenty of positive stories on here in addition to the sad ones. But here is something else to think about.

You to start with a good man or woman first. Otherwise, you are already at a disadvantage for entering the trucking lifestyle.

So think about what I wrote and see if your situation compares to the info that I provided. You will likely make a good decision.

Good luck!

I imagine with what you are doing and the question you asked, that you and wifey will be OK.

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