Husband is just starting to drive

My husband has just finished school and is about to go over the road. I am so nervous about 100 different things. One of the biggest is our marriage.

While he has been in school, I feel that we have already drifted apart because he goes to school and then the rest of the day he stays on the internet watching trucking videos or reading about trucking.

We can't just talk or spend time together. I fear that when he actually does leave it will only get worse. I fear that when he gets home he won't be happy to see me at all. We had a wonderful marriage before school started. We went out all the time. Movies to eat last minute weekend trips. But since school we do nothing.

We don't even talk. Unless it's about driving a truck. Please someone give me some advice that will ease my mind and make me feel better.
Thanks

Nervous truckers wife

Comments for Husband is just starting to drive

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Mar 26, 2017
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You're Not Alone NEW
by: Nae

We had some difficulty before he started driving but now it's all being brought to centerstage. We are struggling theough but I feel that if we can't get right soon then I will lose my 20 year marriage. We have been in therapy for years but there is nothing she can do without him present so it's moot now. What we have been doing is trying to text as much as possible throught the day, even little stuff, then when we can talk we try to stay light but still talk about real issues and spend our home time as positive and full as we can, it does not always work that way but it's worth a shot. You have alot of ppl feelin the way you do and talkin helps.

Jan 30, 2017
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Drifting apart.
by: Anonymous

Trucking isn't causing you to drift apart; it's just bringing the problem to the forefront. You were already drifting apart and couldn't see the forest for the trees. Trucking isn't the problem.

Jan 29, 2017
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Expect the best and be proactive
by: Hervy

I understand how you can feel that way initially especially when seeing a change already.

However, remember that things have change so seeing an initial change in conversation should be expected. It's a new experience. Kind of natural.

Having said that. Let him know that you have been reading about relationships between OTR truckers and wives and the challenges that they face.

Drifting apart being 1 of them. Which you see signs of already. Then explain why you feel that way. (Which is what you have explained here, you only talk about trucking when you talk, etc...)

Tell him that you learned to prevent the drift apart you have to be proactive and stay involved in each others lives.

If you have read my pages about relationships, you know that one of the things I suggest is working on a project together so it forces you to have something to communicate with each other about which you both are interested and invested in.

Also, have a plan for this trucking journey. How long is he driving for? What is the reason for driving? What is the objective/goals both short and long term?

Is this a temporary or career move? Is it for 5 years or 10? Is it to safe a certain amount? To pay off certain bills? To rebuild credit? Etc.

Having clearly defined goals helps you to work toward a common goal and no one is in the dark or wondering about what the future holds. Even more important with goals, you both can figure out what can be done to work toward those goals.

Those two things are a good place to start.
You can read this pages and related pages for more info and download the PDF on this page to go over with each other as well.
OTR trucking relationships

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