Heartbroken!

by Just another statistic
(Texas)

After 8 years of being married to the love of my life who is an OTR I accidentally came across evidence that he has had affairs with women in different states. He gave them his personal number, real name, hotel room, exchanged pictures, etc....

The kicker is, I only sent him proof of two to see if he was going to be honest and come clean. Ironically, I bet you can guess what happened....

We adopted 5 of his nieces and nephews just in November so I went from having a teenager to having 6 kids in the house ranging from 16 to 2. Life was already harder than normal. But now I have told him that if he wants to stay married that he needs to sell his trucking get a local job where he is home nightly. I thought that was pretty nice of me since he is hiring hookers and has put my life in danger.

He has yet to come home one time and not pick a fight with the majority of the kids. he is constantly yelling at them and they are so tired of it. When they hear that he incoming home, they automatically ask, "how long is daddy staying this time"? Yet when he is good with them, they all have so much fun. They love him, however are losing respect for him because of the anger issue.

He picks fights and jumps on them for little things.But, he doesn't see it. He pushes them and me away. Nothing we do is good enough any more. The house isn't spotless and living in a 1500 square foot house with 8 people in it, is really hard. I have no closet space and things get piled along the sides of the wall. It isn't my ideal situation, but I also have very little help in the way of a husband. i am doing it on my own. so I get tired of the complaints.

These women he sees do not have the issues we have, so I am sure they live in a spotless house and have the perfect life! I wish he would stop comparing and just enjoy the children instead of trying to control things.
I lost my position in January and have decided to go back and finish my nursing degree as it will give me a better chance of getting a good job.

But its really hard knowing I have two years to be patient and hold on. He is out there hiring women to service him and then coming home and expecting sex and I just don't feel it! I have pictures of these women.... They get paid to be a size "0" and have perfect boobs... I don't blame them, its a job.

I never thought he would have cheated on me, we talked every day all day and went to bed saying good night. Each conversation he would say how much he loved us and missed us and couldn't wait to get home. He would verbally lay out his plans that he wanted to do for our lives.
But when he stops for fuel and gets advances for "tolls, food, etc...." there is no way to keep track of the money spent. Also, now I look back, there is no way to even tell how long its been going on. For all I know, he could have been arranging for entertainment for the past 20 plus years of his career....

Drivers will hire women for truck visits, hotel visits and or just stop at locations near the fuel stops... I guess they figure what we don't know, won't hurt us? They can live another life and its okay as long as the wife is at home taking care of business.... I have had men very carefully ask me, "So with your husband gone so much, how do you take care of your needs"? I tell them that I love my husband and I can wait until he comes home. But now, I wonder why I have been faithful and not looked at others when he has already broken our vows... The contract is broken.

Of course I have higher standards then just the normal guy... I don't want just anyone. But, I will never look at another truck driver again! I was raised in the oil business and my daddy was home 30 gone 30 or more and it was what I was used to living so a truckers life was not a big deal to me... However, I think I want the husband home nightly routine. I want the attestant coaching, weekend play dates, etc...
Women, I am sorry, but for those that still trust their drivers.... I spoke to my christian husband that was pulling into a hotel on a Thursday night and was exhausted and going to crash. Who had just professed his love and how much he missed me.. Who also was going to call me like normal on Friday morning to say good morning.... And on

Friday night received text messages from an update on his iPad (that he accidentally left at home) that showed when he hung up with me, he was texting a lady that was meeting him in the bar and waiting with anticipation for him... He is not the man that I thought he was.

Now he has no intention of coming off the long haul roads. He makes plans to change the house (which costs money), he wants to buy land and build a house in two years (which costs money). Our house is paid off and he wants me to take out a mortgage on it to pay off debts, to make things easier financially for us.... but then he needs to stay on the road to pay off that debt....

Not sure how long this game is going to go on, but ladies, I hope and pray that you that have faith never find out different! It is devastating and the trust is gone especially with no changes in site. Each time he leaves, I see a young blonde posed over a bed with her "butt" in the air showing her promise... I hate hearing the words, "I love you" because although i know he does, I don't believe the words any longer.
I still love him. but we are the ones making all the changes, he is still on the road and doing what he wants. Good luck