Freaking out and training hasn't started yet...

by Mrs. Moss
(Aurora, CO)

I'm 4 months pregnant and have a 4 year old daughter. My husband has been talking about driving trucks for the last few years. I want him to do what makes him happy but I have some concerns.

I'm not so much worried about him being on the road, I'm worried about how I will keep it all together. Right now, I work 3rd shift which is horrible and I only work this shift for the pay. My hubby takes care of our daughter while I sleep or do schoolwork during the day and she's usually asleep before I head to work at night.

He wants to leave next month to start training and will be gone for 17 days then on the road for 9 months after that. I simply am not able to stay up all day then work overnight and we cannot afford childcare right now (another reason why hubby is so eager to start).

The thought of this is scary and overwhelming and I seriously have no idea what to do. I've been searching for a daytime job but nothing has come through yet and I don't want to just quit my job because all the details of his training and pay have yet to be thoroughly discussed or finalized.

We have no family where we live to help us through this time and I am completely at a loss.

What should I do?

Please help.

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Aug 23, 2014
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Discuss this and make plans for how things will work out
by: Hervy

Mrs. Moss,

This is not about what makes him happy. You are a family unit. The choice has to be about what is best for the family unit not his individual happiness. (Ideally, he would be concerned about your happiness and you would be concerned about his happiness but I digress....)

In fact creating a better situation for the family unit should be what makes him happy.

If you together decide on him eventually being a truck driver, it should be after the details of how to make it work out is finalized.

Why would you go forward with no idea of how to reasonably manage the home? You can't stay up 24hrs a day every day.

As far as his pay, if he is going to a free program it is likely he will make between $20,000 and $30,000 for the first year. That gives you some numbers to consider. If he goes to a community college or private truck driving school, he might make $30,000 or more the first year! (Big difference)

It seems that you two need to sit down together and discuss this more. There must be a plan in place for the logistics of running the home when he is gone.

Do some brainstorming about options. Maybe he needs to wait until you find another job. Maybe you guys need to find out if there is a period of time in which he can work so that you can save up some money before he pursues trucking. (or get financial aid for going to a community college for training. WIA or Workforce Investment Program might also have money available in your area which means the training would be free for you)

Here is something to look forward to though. There is a good amount of local trucking work. However, it is possible there won't be real consideration for him by trucking companies until he gets a little experience.

Local Colorado truck driving jobs

It is important though, for you two to weigh his potential salary with the cost of him being gone. If he will be making less that you are making now, and you are already financially strapped, becoming a trucker is not going to make financial sense.

Also, the cost of him being on the road is more than just financial. This is the beginning of a new lifestyle and you have to be OK with that should you decide to go forward.

You will need to be supportive of each other despite the challenges of you running the home largely independently.

Make sure you talk about this fully and determine together that this is what you want to do and what the plan is for the future.

We he drive for the rest of his life?
How long will he drive for?
How will he transition out of trucking?
Etc

Best of luck

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