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Emotionally drained

by Doll
(South Carolina)

My husband has been driving for 3 years now. For the first 2 1/2 years I rode with him (dealing with his nit picking and blaming me for him not getting enough miles).

Finally I got sick while on the road with him and was hospitalized. I found out that I'm a diabetic (insulin dependent) so, I got off the truck with him. When we finally got a house (we were LIVING on the road with no place to call home). Now he gets mad if I'm not home for him to talk to me alone.

He doesn't allow me to have friends or have a job. He blames me for him being lonely and always says that I don't seem to care that he's away. No matter what I do or say to him, he always says that I'm selfish for wanting to be home and it's not fair that he has to be on the road while I'm at home.

He controls every move I make. I want to leave but I have no where to go. I love him but he's sending me on an emotional roller coaster. Nothing I do is good enough for him... We fuss almost everyday. If I'm asleep when he calls... He's mad. If I don't answer a text within 2 minutes..he's mad.

If he's ready to talk to me and I'm not home he's mad but if I leave to go home he gets mad because he doesn't want people thinking that he treats me bad. *Shaking my head* I'm so depressed and I don't know what to do about it.

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Mar 03, 2016
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doing better NEW
by: doll

Thank you all for your advice. We seem to be getting along a lot better now. As for my diabetes... My sugar stays around 116 now. So I'm doing good. I think our problems were more based on our financial issues. He was scared that I would leave bc he couldn't provide. We had the big talk we needed to have.

Feb 28, 2016
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It's the job NEW
by: Anonymous

My husband has been driving for 5 years now & I have never rode on the truck with him because he is a team driver & he's never taken anything out on me when he has a bad day, but when we are talking on the phone & someone cuts him out or whatever, he is using foul words that I have never heard him say before he took up trucking. Now, I am no Mother Theresa, lol, but the other day a woman cut him out & while we were on the phone, he yelled out the window & said "you cunt", I asked him who the hell you talking to & he said oh this cunt cut me out & I told him hey, don't use that language in front of me, & once he used that word when my Mom was talking to him & boy did she blast him & she told him that is a very bad word to call a woman & my Mom sent me a message on my phone while I was at work & asked me to call her as soon as I had a free moment & I did & she told me what happened & I told her I guess this is a trucker for you & my Mom said yeah well why don't I leave him because she said his personality is changing big time & I work in a doctor's office as a medical assistant & one of my coworkers told me she once was married to a trucker & she said before he took up trucking, he was her knight in shining armor, after trucking, he became her worst nightmare & she filed for divorce, she said besides his behavior & the pay that they get, because they get paid by the miles & the pay stops when the wheels stop, she said it wasn't worth the aggravation & she is now very very happy & my Mom gets on here & reviews some of the stories & my Mom told me she had to laugh at this one person who commented to a wife of a new trucker telling her that some truckers are millionaires, making more money than doctors & lawyers, well when you are a company employee, that will never happen & even if a trucker is an o/o (owner/operator), I highly doubt we are talking millionaires, with a company employee, it's more like a "dollaraire", never a millionaire & my husband does have a friend who is an o/o & he even said hell I sure am no millionaire!

Feb 16, 2016
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Diabetic in truck NEW
by: TruckerYitz

Well it's very possible to be taking your insulin on a regular basis and doing your basal and bolus when eating . It doesn't have tombs dunkin donuts every meal , The buffets do have vegetable and stuff .

First and most important formtoubisngetting A1C under 7.0. And then figure out
The rest of the stuff . Out of control diabetic = poor health and bed ridden .

Just saying

Feb 16, 2016
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Much luck NEW
by: Connie

First no one has the power to control your emotions but you. Second two people living 24/7 in a space the size of a modest bathroom is just as taxing as living apart. And third your husband has just as much emotions, wants, and, desires as you do. They usually are different from ours but no less important. I hope you guys find away to soften your hearts to one another and learn to find the beauty in each other again that you once saw. Much luck to you.

Feb 16, 2016
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You have to stand up
by: Hervy

Doll, there are few choices but one that I think is necessary is that you stand up to him. Which you may have done already. However, you need to stand up to him with a well thought out presentation of how you feel, how his behavior and attitude is causing that. Have specific examples of what you are referring to.

Now. Before doing this, I think if I were you I would also have proof of texts or the phone conversations (yes record it) so that you can prove what you saying actually occurred and you are not making it up. (Which some people claim when faced with words they don't want to hear)
It sound common enough to get proof pretty quickly. You don't need much especially if you can also recall specific examples.

Another thing I would consider is talking to a counselor together and if not on your own. Together, then he could here someone else give feedback on his behavior instead of hearing it from you.

Meanwhile, you have to make sure you are doing what you should in taking care of your own body. Type 2 Diabetes us curable if that is what you have.

If necessary, stop eating junk and start eating better food. Also get exercise, which doesn't have to occur in the gym. Making those changes, if necessary will also help with depression and become healthier will help with depression and both will also make it easier to do the other things that you might have to deal with.

Those are things you have direct control over. And working on those will help you dealing with him because you will have more clarity and self confidence.

You can do it Doll!

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