Don't know whether I'm coming or going!

My husband has been doing trucking for 5 years now & I have tried in vain for the past 3 weeks trying to ask him what is bothering him or what's going on because we used to do FaceTime & Skype & the day b4 he totally changed, everything was fine. Well the next day he started to yell at me, scream at me & tell me that he is tired of all the bull crap fighting & arguing & I told him everything was fine, why are you this way? He never answered me. Every morning starts out with a nasty message, I call him, he either hangs up or answers what, what the f**k do you want, we have 2 kids & I thought on Christmas Day he'll be different, I called him & again he answered very nasty what, what the f**k do you want, I was hurt so I hanged up the phone, the kids were too busy unwrapping their presents so they did not care about him, then when I send him messages asking what the heck did I do & he accuses me of things I never did! He always sends me messages wanting to know what me & the kids are up too but when I ask him about him, the only reply I get from him is that the next time he comes home, he'll take the tv away so me & the kids don't have nothing to watch, shut my phone off so I can't call for doctor appointments or if we have an emergency & stop the pay. Now like I just said me & the kids did nothing to him. When he was home for Thanksgiving, everything was great & fine & he left to go back on the road the following Monday & a few days later all hell broke loose. I asked him if he was involved with someone, he replied oh there you go again putting words in my mouth. He has me so totally confused & hurt & very angry. He always said he would never do it with a lot lizard because of STDs, but like a friend told me he could do it with a female driver that may be parked next to him while down for the night because basically while truckers are OTR all their needs can be met - dining, laundry, showers all at truck stops & sex & he does take out large advances from his pay each week & put it on the credit card the company gives him. I remember my friend (she is not married to a trucker) telling me when this first happened, don't worry he'll come around, it's going on almost 4 weeks & I feel it'll NEVER be the same again. He also has been thru 5 team drivers (all male) & it did not work out. I cannot afford counseling & even if I could, I would be the one that would be going by myself! My friend asked me do they do a psychiatric evaluation while doing the DOT physical & I told her no! But me & the kids do not deserve this & unfortunately I cannot afford to move me & the kids to another place & separate from him. I have no family members because my parents are deceased & they both were the only kids so I have no aunts or uncles & I, too, am the only child. But I NEVER saw my husband like this & b4 he left for the road after Thanksgiving, my neighbor had to run to the store real quick & asked me if I could watch her 2 yr old son & I told her sure, well the little boy started screaming in my husband's presence & my husband asked me what is his problem, well on his nasty messages & phone calls to me, he said oh by the way if you watch that stupid kid again while I am home, I will give that f***ing kid something to cry for, I will take my belt off & give him a real a** whooping & I said he's only 2 & he said well our kids NEVER carried on like that & I said only you he carried on & our kids are two 10 year old twins - a boy & a girl. My twin boy tried calling him thinking with him being one of his kids, all would be fine, wrong! We all are at a loss as to what to do!

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Dec 31, 2015
That's a LONG read.... NEW
by: Anonymous

All I know is this: "If you don't know whether or not you are 'coming or going'... you are DOING IT RIGHT!!!!

Trucking will eff up what was once a "normal" mans world to no end and to THE END>

I didnt read your story. Trucking is a bird of a different feather. TRY NOT to make sense of it and just do it... OR DONT.

It is an UNFORGIVING way to make a life, which is what it's not a "living' its your life 24/7 and it will be there every day for the rest of your life.

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