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Distance doesn't always mean miles

by Selah
(PA, USA)

My husband is gone all week and now that our kids are married it seems when he comes home he is just as far away as if he were still on the road. Work is all he talks about, and it's really starting to make me crazy.

Does anyone else have these issues of distance with their spouse / partner even when they're at home together?

Comments for Distance doesn't always mean miles

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Mar 13, 2016
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Married single NEW
by: Anonymous

Yea I feel the same way. I would like to think he misses me just as much as I miss him but it doesn't seem that way. We just got married a month ago but I feel single

Nov 29, 2014
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Dealing with the distance NEW
by: Hervy

Selah, I have seen more than 1 trucker wives have the same thoughts about distance between her and driver when he returns home.

To address it I created this page aboutlong distance relationships in trucking.

I would suggest both of you talk about turning up the communication and romance in the relationship and then talk about ways to do that. Both should take turns providing input.

That will help with the balance (theoretically) with my next suggestion.....

Take a genuine interest in his trucking experience. Ask questions. Ride with him for a trip or two if it is possible.

After listening to him get all of the trucking out. Share your experiences at home also.

Ideally both of you would do what I heard Steven Covey say "Seek first to understand, then to be understood". However, communicating and relating to one another is not something many of us were taught. Often we want to talk about our stories and tune out on others. We don't intentionally do it, but we don't realize that we do it so it happens.

Since you are more mindful of this and he might not be, you are in the position of leverage. You can likely single handedly change the dynamics of the relationship by taking on the task alone, if he won't participate, in improving the communication and relationship.

If you show genuine interest, he will feel heard and eventually stop talking about it. At this point you can talk about what ever you want for as long as you want because there are no more pressing thoughts in his mind about life as a trucker.

Also, consider, many driver do the opposite. They don't talk about life as a trucker at all. They just shut down when they come home or complain about their the home front.

You attitude and actions with regard to this situation can help it get better or allow it to proceed in the direction it is going. It's not your fault of course. But you CAN improve it because you have the desire to improve it. However, you must be bigger than the circumstance.

Try this out and see what happens!

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