Days like this suck

by Angie
(Pennsylvania )

My boyfriend is an over the road trucker. We live in Pennsylvania. He's in California right now, and has been gone for two weeks. I see him two days out of the month, and it's worth it. But on days like today, I despise it.

I have chronic depression, and severe anxiety. My living situation sucks. We don't have our own place right now, because I don't have a license. But that's a long story in itself.

There are really hard times going on at the house I live in, and I've been extremely stressed. Today I just snapped in a depressed way. I've been crying on and off all day, and all I want to curl up in his arms and let him hold me. And I can't have that, because he's on the opposite side of the country. And today it's agonizing.

I can normally do good with not over thinking it. But today it's just killing me. I feel trapped in the shitty living situation I'm in. And he can't help from California. He can't help too much at all for a while, until he pays off his car repair bill. And it just sucks. Today just sucks.

I just want him home today. And I'm just miserable that he's not here.