Been wanting a divorce for years, I feel like we are drifting apart

by Angel
(Tennessee)

I'm happy that my husband works and makes a living for him the baby and me but this life I'm living is very hard he's gone all week and home maybe 2 days a week but when he's home he's not here mentally and all we do is fight about things I'm not doing right.

I cook I clean I pay bills I run and do what he tells me and when and its never good enough I try so hard to be a good mother and a good wife and its never good enough. I feel like a cheep whore he comes home gripes at me sleeps with me gives me money and leaves.

We have been together 7 years and he has been a truck driver for 5 years I feel like we are drifting away. I try to keep my mouth closed and just do as he says but he always wants to fuss and fight. I just want peace and love and attention.

I'm 23 years old. I want sex and passion not to be walked on and talked down to. I pray every night asking God what do I do. Am I suppose to be upset for the rest of my life? I've wanted a divorce for years but can never do it.

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Aug 29, 2014
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truckers wife NEW
by: angel

I agree but people back in the day were mature people in my generation are very immature all they wanna do is party and have fun and smoke it up well one day they gotta grow up sometime

Aug 29, 2014
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...... NEW
by: Anonymous

According to a 2001 study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 48 percent of those who marry before 18 are more likely to divorce within 10 years, compared with 24 percent of those who marry after age 25.

Aug 28, 2014
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truckers wife NEW
by: angel

Thank you and I've asked him about counseling before and I've left him before and he brings it back up then we never go I think he's scared to go because he's scared what there going to say to him

Aug 28, 2014
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Prayers NEW
by: Anonymous

Maybe try some marriage counseling through a local church, sounds like maybe he could use some anger management. Soo sorry that you have been through that much crap! Hope you and him can find something that will work for the both of you. I will say a prayer for you!

Aug 28, 2014
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truckers wife NEW
by: angel

I am a very blunt person what ever I think always comes out I have told him how I feel I tell him that he is disrespectful to me and I tell him I deserve the same respect I show him I've told him he's mean and hateful and I feel all alone see when my husband has off time he finds excuses not to be home and I would go back and try to think of anything I said or did wrong to make him not wanna spend time with me and the baby but honestly I can't think of a darn thing I always feel more like his child than his wife he used to be worse than this I have had my nose broke my eyes black he's been to jail 3 times for putting his hands on me but I changed him and stayed with him and put up with the bull crap and I prayed a lot see my whole life has been hell I had no child hood my real dad ran out my step dad had me working on cars and building on to a camper we lived in I've been to 12 different schools and then when I think I'm finally free I turn 18 get married and trapped again

Aug 28, 2014
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Be courageous! NEW
by: Anonymous

Being a truckers wife and a mother are the two hardest thing I have ever done! EVER! But, this is the life God gave me and I wouldn't trade it for anything. My husband just ran four weeks in a row and was supposed to be off this week, but an emergency load came up and decided he would cover it. So he will only get 3 days off instead of a week. I was devistated! For my children, for me, longing for him...
My husband has been driving OTR for over 10 years strait, probably 15 total, this year we were married 9 years. The 1st several year I rode with him until my second born came along it was just too much(he was colicky). Then my oldest started school. 3-4 years now I've been at home a lot. It's hard, taking care of EVERYTHING!!! And a lot of times it goes unappreciated. Pretty much because it's life, and this is a life we choose. To be truckers wives. Others split up responsibilities around the house, both parents work full time, ect. But I am blessed to be a stay at home parent!!! (Even though sometimes I wish I could go to work for a few days to "take a break". Lol. Yes,I mow our huge yard, pay bills, change dirty diapers, give baths, pay more bills, fix the broken toilet paper holder, cook all the meals, clean the whole house, do all the laundry, do all the shopping, chop up that huge branch that fell down, fix the flat tire, jump start the car, shovel the snow, fix the belt on the lawn mower... And I could go on... BUT my husband loves us soo much than he goes out and works weeks at a time, sometimes not so easy, ltl's, because he loves us, and supports us, and would do anything for us.
When I found out he would not be home this week, all those feelings, like I'm worthless, and does he really miss me, and exhaustion and don't know if I can live on type feelings just flooded over me. I was depressed!! I was letting the devil have a piece of me!!! I was breaking down!! But after a good vent, (with my husband & God) I am all good now.
Let your husband know how you feel, help him understand you better(since he's not there to see your expression) be honest in everything! Let him know you don't like the way he says this or that. Sometimes men just don't understand women. And when they forget remind them. Respect him for all he really does do, and a lot if the time you will recieve it in return. Communication is KEY in a trucking marriage(in any marriage really !!!) And a lot of times we also need to let them adjust to being home when they are home...their tired, want a shower, and a GOOD nights rest. Don't bombard them with this needs done or can you do that for me. Leave that to day #2 :-).
But all in all, I'm just trying to say it is Hard, and I understand, but everything happens for a reason, and sometime we as wives need to re examin ourselves a lil and blow off some steam so we can re ground and keep on truckin ourselves. Remember to explain (in detail) how we feel, what makes us feel in such a way and suggest how he or we might be able to change/fix what seems to be broken. Words speak volumes! It takes a while to master being a truckers wife, but even though I feel I have it mastered, I to can let feelings of defeat get to me. But I am convicted, that every time, it only makes me stronger! Hope you and your husband can work things out, especially for the sake of your child. God Bless!

Aug 28, 2014
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thanks NEW
by: angel

Thank yal very much for the support its appreciated

Aug 28, 2014
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truckers wife NEW
by: angel

Thank you very much I just wish my husband felt the same it just seems like I try and try and there is no pleasing him he honestly makes me feel worthless

Aug 28, 2014
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I know what you going thru NEW
by: Gabriel Kottke

I wish I had some one like you I would never fight with I be greatful to have a good woman that keep the house clean watch over the kids and make sure the bills got pay I be dam greatful for her I be comeing home I be showing you all my love and passion I had a wife we geting a divorce she never pay the bils and lie about it I gave up my schooling for her to have a good woman like your self it so hard to come by
You want some one to talk to my e mail is blue7hawk@yahoo.com

Aug 28, 2014
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tennessee NEW
by: Anonymous

I live in Cleveland divorce is hard espically if you have children u think about how its going to be for them to not have a father around but then u think u don't want them to see you argue all the time my child is the reason I wake up every morning a put a smile on my face

Aug 28, 2014
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Angel, Can I help? NEW
by: Anonymous

What part of Tennessee do you live in? I am going to go to Memphis for a surgery in a couple weeks. I will be there for several weeks. If you would like to talk about what's going on I'm all ears. I have been in your shoes. I've been divorced now for 4 years. So I know the battle it takes to get to the final stage. I may have some insight to help you to determine if you should or should not get a divorce.

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