An absent love

by Patricia Renteria
(El Paso, TX)

Well where should I begin? I'll start with the love i have for my absent husband because without the love I would not be here.

He wasn't always a truck driver and the decision to become one was 10 years ago when he lost his job at a food plant he worked at for almost 16 years. Well although those days of him coming home every night and home on the weekends seem so long ago, i still remember how much time we spent together and how we enjoyed being with each other. 10 years later 5 kids and one on the way, my goodness how did we manage to survive?

I do have great respect for him venturing into a business that he knew nothing about and managing to survive through failures that every business goes through. To him I owe great gratitude for not giving up when so many times he wanted to.

I could not imagine what it would be like to be away from my kids and miss their b-days and special moments that only come once in their life time yet he has for many years. But still there are days filled with resentment and anger.

I miss him, i always miss him. My days are filled with more activities that i can handle, but like so many moms we manage. Thank god for children they are so remarkable, my children are my support and there are times i learn from them.

There are those challenging days but you learn to develop a sense of humor. You might not believe this but im good through out the day i have learned patience and like i said laughter is good ,but nights when they are sleep so comfortable in their beds, that's when my time comes.

A little chat with my husband before he goes to bed, that's only if he is in the same time zone as me if not i am on my own. Feelings of loneliness come and yearning for the touch of his loving arms, once again this love i so desire is absent.

There are times when i want to call it quits but I love him and there is no crime in a man who steps up to the plate and provides for his wife and children.