All I Hear is He's Cheating On You - Do Truckers Cheat

by Carolyn
(Axton, va)

My husband is on the road and all I seem to hear is he's cheating on you. I am so terrified.

I love him so much and he says he loves me, but he told me right after he got on truck he'd lied for 3 months but now he says he wants us to work it out. We supposed to be but I still have that fear.

I don't know how to tell if he's cheating. I don't think he ever has before but I know there's always a first time.

Please help

Thank you Carolyn

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Oct 12, 2018
You Have to Use Info, Insight and Your Own Mind
by: Hervy

"Both of you need to find out from each other what can be done differently to improve the relationship." I will come back to that though later.

But first let me say this.....

Truckers Cheat, doctors cheat, teachers cheat, police officers cheat.

Truckers are faithful, doctors are faithful, teachers are faithful, etc.

Sounds like you have some history that warrants the feelings/doubts that you're having Carolyn. I don't know what he lied about but I am sure it's not easy to get out of your head.

That said, you have to look at the big picture with regards to his actions and attitude. Does how he interact with you seem to be inline with a remorseful person who has recognized that he should and desire to treat you better. (Including being faithful)

The sad part now....... Does he know how to treat you better.

Not trying to be funny. I find that a key problem in many relationships is that neither or at least one person was never modeled what it is like to treat or be treated well in a healthy relationship. (Or studied the subject to learn)

Because if he doesn't know what that is like, he may very well want to do better but not know how or what doing better is in the relationship.

Also, if there are specific things that bother you and you haven't brought it to his attention, he won't know what to change/do differently. Make sure you let him know.

Obviously I don't know the details with regards to these issues I am bringing up. But you do or will have to figure it out to know how to address/improve the relationship on your side.

This is why couples coaching/counseling is good. That person should be objective and help both of you see the big picture.

He needs to understand what you're experiencing. You need to understand what he's experiencing. Communication is the key. Try telling him how you feel and find out from each other what both of you can do to make the other feel better about the relationship.

Also, can you ride with him on the road?

As far as the people that is talking in your ear, again, you know best. They don't live with your or experience everything that you do in the relationship.

People can mean well but not have the best perspective or mindset and say reckless things based on limited insight.

Don't forget most people are negative and think the worse. Especially true when it comes to judging truckers.

That said, you have to think for yourself about the details of the relationship. Ask questions to him more than assuming the worse.

Hopefully he is the type who is open to self improvement and personal development. In other words, he'll listen to you instead of dismissing your inquiry and reflect on his behavior.

Well, there is a lot in there to go with. Sorry for the length but I just wanted to cover some important angles.

Don't be terrified. Ask him about plans for the future of you and him. Career, family planning, finances, parenting, retirement activities, etc. If he's serious that conversation makes sense. If he's not than it'll probably make him upset and nervous.

His response will give you insight on his mindset, intentions, sincerity, seriousness, etc.

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