A very distraught wife

Where do I begin? Well first of all I thought I had a very good solid marriage UNTIL my hub took up trucking. Things were going great till the past two weeks.

Every time he has been home, I have dedicated my whole time to him giving him my every moment & even to the point to have some private time with him by having a very good friend watch our special needs adult daughter.

We would even go into the truck to make love because he wanted to remember me in the sleeping berth while he would be on the road sleeping in the berth. And when he was home 6 weeks ago it was like honeymoon time.

Well I noticed these past couple weeks he seemed as though he wasn't himself & he was calling less frequently & our handicapped daughter was a little out of sorts & I told him about it & what he said was out of left field & it had me shocked but he called her a derogatory name & I was very hurt & I had crying spells & now she does not want to talk to him when he calls.

When I blasted him over it , he got defensive & said oh because she did something now I am in the dog house. We had verbal fights during phone calls. I have asked him if he wants to be with me & I never got an answer. He either can't or won't. And he did not say this derogatory name to our daughter personally. He told me it but still as her Mother I take that very offensively & reminded him that he was her Father.

Well now today I called him several times, left text messages that we need to talk & his reply both in text & voice mail is to leave him alone, he has a miserable (colorful expletive mentioned) life. It sure did not help emotionally when I was at my GYN last week for my annual & the GYN she is very blunt & to the point & holds back no punches.

Well she told me that everything was fine & when I told her hub was a truck driver, well the look she gave me, said it all. She told me that she has 20 patients that all have been treated for a STD, which I did not have, but she said all these patients were either girlfriends or wives to truckers & she told me if I did not abstain from sex, then she would have to check me every time he was home & I told her well there are cheaters everywhere & all cheaters are not just truckers & she said true but truckers are notorious for spreading STDs.

Now she asked me if there was anything else to discuss & I told her about my emotional time with hub. She told me that he sounded like a psychotic psychopath & I said wow aren't they pretty 2 strong words & she said well he sounds like a Dr. Jekyll & Mr Hyde. And she told me that it is possible he is with someone because why won't he tell me he wants to be with me.

It has gotten to the point where now I doubt very much I love him. I asked him please tell me what is going on & he says nothing is going on. I started it. I didn't have to get offensive when he called our daughter that name. I used to ask him what state he is going through, oh he is in a state alright, psychotic psychopath state, but not anymore.

I no longer call him & no longer ask him what he is up to. I am going thru another medical problem & I told him & he seemed as though he wasn't concerned. I told him that he was in another world & what did he tell me oh I had to listen when my shower time was up & lately now when I used to call him we always get disconnected & he would say oh I am going through mountain passes.

Hell I used to go through the Sierra Nevadas & the Rockies & get through fine calling my Mother in Vermont when she used to be alive. I have called shelters about going to a shelter for my Daughter & I & was told shelters are only for physically abused women, not emotionally abused women.

Is there wives or truckers that have been going through this type of situation? I am at my wits end & basically I have no idea what to do next. He claims he does not have anybody else & he refuses to talk to me, so I have no idea what is going on!

The GYN is telling me to open my eyes that YES he does have somebody else & that for me not to think he is faithful to me by being away - she said when the cat is away, the mouse will play!

I used to make him cakes, etc. for the trip & make sure his truck is well supplied, NO MORE! He is on the truck with a team driver but still that is no excuse & his co-driver is thinking about quitting & the GYN told me for my sake she hopes the company doesn't stick him with a female co-driver because she told me then my life is over.

So if someone can definitely tell me or help me on this it would be greatly appreciated because my Daughter is totally dependent on me & I have not worked in order to take care of her because I don't trust no outside sources & now my hub is threatening to stop the bank account so I get no money!

I don't need this crap. What the hell made him snap! I gave him no provocation to do this. Help!

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Sep 04, 2013
I'd have to bet NEW
by: Anonymous

I'd have to bet he has distanced himself from you because he is not happy with this job. He won't say it because he doesn't want to admit defeat but it sounds like he is miserale and is lashing out at you.
I'm sorry but I'm judging by the length of your post that you are probably badgering him to the point he doesn't want to talk to you.
Try to back off a little bit and see if that doesn't help bring him around and open him up.
Sounds like he's shut down and the last thing he needs when talking to you is to be "beat up". I honestly don't think he is abusing you. I'd have to bet he was having a bad day.
Don't get me wrong...there is absolutely no excuse for him to call you daughter a name and he should be ashamed of himself for that!
And for heaven sakes....get a new GYN! That is ridiculous that she has put that sterotype on truck drivers!
Bottom line though...if you are unhappy leave.

Sep 03, 2013
GYN or Psyciatrist? NEW
by: Melisa

I'm sorry, but I would chang my GYN if i were you. Just because a man is a truck driver doesnt mean he is going to cheat. A gyn probably only knows half stories, because there are just as many women that cheat on truck drivers as there are truck drivers that cheat. Being a Truckers wife is very hard, and not at all easy. Take some advice from this site. Theres lots of good advice here.

Sep 03, 2013
hard time believing your story NEW
by: Anonymous

What is the name of your doctor and where is the office located and if it is possible can I please have the phone number this doctor needs to be reported!

Sep 02, 2013
good reason to be frustrated NEW
by: Hervy

Hate that you are going through this. You have reason to be distraught, sounds like a very challenging situation for you to deal with.

With so much going on in your situation, it would seem that you need to talk to a counselor who has time to listen to all of the details. You GYN may mean well.

Ideally, both of you and husband needs to talk to be there. Who knows what feelings, thoughts, words you are holding back from each other. That might have even started a lot of this. I don't know. But I have seen miscommunication and false assumption lead to distance and poor behavior.

Seems that your husband might not agree to come. In that case I would still advise you to talk to someone yourself. I would seek referrals from a dependable source.

Praying the best for you and him.

P.S. Do not just sit back and wait for this to resolve itself. It will likely not go in the right direction.

also, this guy has good material for relationships

Don't know if it will apply in your situation, but get out of it what you can.

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