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Wife .. With three babies and a local hubby who's never home :/

by Marie
(Ma)

I've been with my hubby sense I was sixteen , now I am 23 and he's 26 I've always been there for him and he's been a trucker for five years in the same company .

We have talked a bunch of times about him getting a different job because he's never home even if he's local. I've stayed home ever sense we had our first child whose now three and I do everything on my own . He leaves from 2:00 am or 3:00 am the latest and comes home at 7 , 8 , or 9 pm.

When I try to have a conversation we end up arguing and I honestly can't do it anymore.
He's always tired , never in the mood and gets annoyed with the kids easily. I want to say to hell with him but I just don't know how to.

I am beyond exhausted and I don't see how I could fix this.

Please help!!

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Nov 13, 2015
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If he's paying the bills...
by: Anonymous

Have patience. If he's overworked and unhappy, yet he still does it to pay the bills.. that alone shows how much he loves you and the kids.

I understand you're upset at the fact that he's not around very often, and when he is, he's tired and grumpy. But he's putting himself through hell for you. To say you're thinking of leaving the man who works his butt off to keep the lights on and food on the table, that's just plain messed up.

Show him your love and support, and do whatever you can to make his home time more enjoyable.

If you had to choose between this husband, a husband that is home ALL the time with no job and no money, or no husband at all, which would you choose?

Nov 13, 2015
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Whew!!!
by: Anonymous

Been there, did that. Now... I'm not a woman, but my woman had to put up with it also.

She wasn't too good at it and I don't blame her.

I can tell you this: The local job won't fix anything, if anything it will make it worse.

He will have to get up at the crack of ass every morning, and since they love to squeeze at least two loads out of you, he's gonna get stuck in traffic, and the later in the week it gets, the longer it gets for him and the more tired he's gonna get.

12 hour days would be great if they paid by the hour and enforced them. Unfortunately, it will end up being a 16 hour day or more (including going to and from work in his personal vehicle) he will get home just in time to get 4 hours of sleep (give or take) if he's lucky.

Again, by the end of the week, he will be exhausted.

You will want to go somewhere with the kids and him and he's not gonna want to drive, yet he will have to because us truckdrivers make horrible passengers....

It's like we are at work again, only letting someone else take control of what we do...it's weird to say the least.

Then he's gonna be tired.

He will nap anywhere at any time and he will still be getting up at the crack of ass on the weekends....

LOCAL TRUCK DRIVING SUCKS!!!

Now, your kids sound real little, so packing them along with him on a run here and there is prob out of the question. My ex used to do it anyway and she loved it. So did I... to a point.

We have to stop a lot more. A LOT!!!

But it was nice having her see what I see and getting a feel for the life. It's definitely NOT an ordinary job, and I can promise you, if he chose this living and he likes it, no other office view will ever suffice, unless maybe his job asks him to dispatch, but trust me when I say, the stress levels he will take home with him after a day in the office and you will be begging him to go back on the road.

Let me just tell you this much, because there really is no "simple" answer.

A truckers wife deserves all the respect in the world (no matter what)

This won't be of much comfort, but life flies by in the blink of an eye. Today you are young, wishing him home and wanting to live a little.

Tomorrow? You will see things differently as the kids have grown, left the house and now you have become the Queen of the Roost... (whether you realize it or not)

He will come home and pretty soon, he's not making any rules or having any say at all. You have had to do it all for so long by yourself that you have taken total control of everything, other than bringing in the money.

It is a real "Catch-22" and since you married him, you kind of dug yourself a hole here also.

Trucking is a lifestyle and a profession. It's something he will always be able to fall back on even if you do get him off the road, but if that ol highway has already gotten into his blood, do you really want him at home unhappy?

What else can he do? Does he have another lucrative trade?

I studied in my off-time whether I was on the truck or not and became a Certified Nutritionist and I did come off the road for a few years to give it a go.

It didn't last. I hated it. The money was GREAT, but I hated it. I loathed it.

Here's a real kicker. I still take CEU's because I don't like being locked into any ONE thing, but the best office view I will ever have is out the front window of my Peterbilt.

You could bide your time if you really think that you love him to death, and once the kids get old enough, get your CDL and get a team-driving job with him. I've seen it work, I've seen it fail.

You would be literally inches away from him 24 hours a day... but there would be those times that you would be driving and he would be sleeping....

Maybe you might like the life yourself?

If all you are thinking about is him, you prob should get some hobbies, friends and other things to do. Go to school, do something, just don't get too friendly with those guys that are more than willing to fill the gaps he is leaving.

It happens. Us humans arent made to be alone, which is why a lot of older OTR drivers get a dog.

Like I said... a real "truckers wife" deserves mad respect for sticking by her man, but I could NEVER blame one who didnt.

Mine didnt and I don't blame her one bit.

She was alone. My kids are grown and I have grandkids. I still drive, but I've slowed my roll WAAAAY down.

I've made up for all that lost time with all of my kids and have a great relationship with my grandchildren... and my ex...

Sorry I couldn't offer a feasible solution, but I sure wouldnt want to "sugar-coat" anything and lie to you about what your life might entail.

I wish you all the best.

Dont forget to buy a T-shirt about how badass a "truckers wife" is. There are plenty out there.

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