He just left for orientation 13 hours ago..and I have not stopped crying since he left..

He just left for orientation 13 hours ago....and I have not stopped crying since he left....I was literally sick all day.

We have lived together for 10 years coming up this May 2012....We have NEVER spent a night apart!

I'm 26 years old and he is 35. I'm currently in college, and this is my second semester.

After he got laid off last August, he decided to go to truck driving school--we had talked about it before over the years but it always ended with me telling him that I didn't think I could handle it. (Which if it had been the other way around, he would had felt the same, even if it was to better our life together.)

Anyways, so he decided he really wanted to get his CDL so he went to school with the big intention of getting a local job FIRST, and IF he couldn't he might go OTR. --which I'd told him I didn't know if I could handle still. I voiced my opinion considerably a few times, and then I left it alone, and decided to try to be supportive.

I knew that it would be hard, and that I would miss him, but I had no idea it would be this hard.

He's going to be gone for 5-6 weeks.

I try to think positive....but I just miss him so much it's almost unbearable, and I know he's trying to do work to help us, but it's killing me. I don't foresee the pain getting any better.

I'm happy to find out that there's a place for other women like me.
Because everyone else just acts like it's nothing....and I understand because I didn't think it would be this bad until I experienced it for myself.

I would like to find out how all of you are feeling after your spouses have been gone now for 2-3 weeks, and 3-4 weeks.?
How are you managing?

Does it really get easier, or not, because I don't think it will?
Should I just ask him to come home?

I'd also like to talk to any of you whose spouses just left, and are experiencing similar feelings as me. I'll leave my email address or even my phone number. I need someone to talk to that's in the same situation as I am.

Comments for He just left for orientation 13 hours ago..and I have not stopped crying since he left..

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Dec 15, 2012
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Just left... NEW
by: Anonymous

I know it has been a while since this post, but I thought I would share what I do when my hubby leaves. I make sure that I have plans for something to do after he leaves. It gives me something to focus on other than the sorrow I feel. I give myself some time to cry after he leaves, (i set an alarm for 1hr before my plans) then I pick myself up, put on my face (as I NEVER wear makeup when he leaves) then take a deep breath, get dressed and go. Never just sit at home with nothing to do because then you cry and cry and cry and become depressed. When I heard "make sure you have something to keep you busy" I thought ya right... but NOW I know what they meant. Best of luck!
Melissa

Apr 18, 2012
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UNDERSTAND COMPLETLY NEW
by: Debbie

I so understand how you feel. My husband left 2 weeks ago to go with his trainer. We have been married 5 years last month and like you, we had never been apart. When I dropped him off to go with his trainer I tried to be strong, but I had a feeling of overwhelming loss. I am a little older than you and consider myself very independent but it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. They told him that since he had prior experience 15 years ago driving locally he would only have to do 140 hrs but he called me this morning and told me that he is going to have to do the full 275. I feel devestated. We recently moved to Georgia from Michigan to help take care of his sick mother. She is since gone. All of my family and friends are in Kansas. My husband's cousin is a pastor and if it was not for God and our church I think I would loose my mind. I keep telling myself it will be worth it because we are planning on going over the road together but right now I feel like part of me is gone. The positive is that I have developed a more personal relationship with God and it has really helped. I can't imagine how it would feel if he was gone to war. Sometimes I feel guilty and selfish. I came on this site to find out if I am crazy or if other wives feel the same way. It was a great relief to see that others have gone through the same thing.

Apr 11, 2012
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its hard but it will be ok NEW
by: Carr

My husband worked in a factory for 17 years before deciding to be a truck driver. he left on March 18th and will be gone until approx May 12-18 no really sure. He did get to come home for Easter which I was very thankful for. I know its hard I thought I was never gonna make it. I was mad and confussed and hurt. Until i did some research o this site and many others. I love my husband and the more I learned about the trucking industry the more proud of him I was. He left now and it was so hard to say goodbye because I know he wont come back until the middle of May. I got mad at the company he works for and him for what his job is. At times i thought I could do it, but somehow I have found the strength I need to be a supportive wife. My only advise is to be there for him, love him and understand he is doing it for you.

Apr 08, 2012
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It is Tuff But worth it.. NEW
by: Anonymous

I can totally understand where you are coming from. I myself had been with my husband for years before he decided to change careers and go for truck driving. I really didn't think back about it because I had two kids to raise at home.. We needed steady income coming in. He had been a carpenter for years and that started to dwindle out because companies wanted cheap labor.
It's been 15yrs and yes I will say it was NOT easy for the first 5yrs. As he thought he could be home more too. When you first start, like any company they tell you all the good. They don't tell you they will have you out for two months at a time! That was hard on the kids. But I kept strong , for Our family and my husband mostly so he could succeed in what he wanted to do. He had worked for the company he trained with for one year. Went to another company and worked for them for another 5 yrs. He was home more and I and the kids did get to go with him when we could. It was an adventure! We eventually moved to another state which is TX and he found a even Better paying and was going to be home 2 days out of the week! I thought Great,, this is Awesome! God was good.. We have survived this, I believe because of the strength we have in keeping Our family together. He works for a Good company now and has Good benefits. The company he works for doesn't hire unless you have yrs of experience. All I can say is Stay strong for him, If he is really wanting to do this, you need to stand by your man. Have faith and know that things will only get better. There are alot of trucking jobs so if he doesn't like a company he can change. I will also say this,my husband was looking into owner operator and I am so Glad he didn't get into that with the High prices of fuel. Lots of owner operators were struggling, and I couldn't see us affording to struggle again. So it does take time to work up to a steady income and find a job that he will be home more. But I believe it was well worth it. My children were taught that Family isn't always together, they know it takes hard work to stay together. Now my son is Serving Our country, my daughter is a stay at home Mom, and I am Very happy how things turned out. If you need to chat you can email me at Lrams222@msn.com. I would Love to meet more trucking wives. Hope this helps.

Apr 03, 2012
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Keep trying for local jobs NEW
by: Anonymous

I didn't want my husband to go long haul so we moved to Alberta where there are more 2-3 day runs but I was still very loney as he worked 16-20 hrs a day for 12 days on & 2 off. My kids and I were so loney we decided to move back to MB. Now due to his experience he has he got a local job that doesnt pay as well but he is home more in the evenings and has reset days every 70 hrs.

Mar 25, 2012
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I can empathize with you NEW
by: Melissa

I went through the same thing last year. My husband and I had been together 15 years and had been in a business together so we were together all of the time. Then we had to close the business and he was not able to find a job as an auto mechanic that made enough money, so a friend convinced him to get his cdl. I kind of knew what it was going to be like, because when i was in elementary school my dad was an otr o/o truck driver. My grandpa died on January 28th 2011 then my mom died after a short illness on March 8th 2011 and my husband left on March 17th of 2011. I cried every time I thought about him leaving and luckily the day before he left we had a birthday party for our son, who had just turned 3 so I was too busy to cry the whole day before he left but I cried for days after he left. I had to keep it together as much as I could for our son. Then after I would get off the phone with him I would cry off and on for an hour. He was only suppose to be out for training for 4 to 5 weeks for his training. Turns out he was out for just shy of 3 months! We were able to see him at a truck stop not to far away from our house about mid way through, which I cried all the way home after we saw him. Then when he finally did get to come home he was suppose to get a week but he only got 5 days. Thank god the company he went with, they had a Regional Route that he was able to get on and he comes home now every 6 to 7 days for at least his 34 hour break, sometimes he gets more than 48 hours. He has a really good fleet manager. It does get easier, or at least it did for me. At Thanksgiving he was able to get 4 days off and 3 days off at Christmas. He was just home overnight and we just got through taking him to his truck. What keeps me going is my son and the hope that in June when he gets his year in that he can find a local job and we can put this all behind us. Keep yourself busy and try not to think too much. In the 3 months he was gone I dug up half of our yard and put new flower beds in. I was too tired to even think about sleeping alone. In no time it has been a year since he left he just has to a year in being out on his own and hopefully he will be able to get a local job. I will be so glad when June gets here and he can start trying to get a different job. If you hold on and let him get his year in and trust me if you keep your busy a year will go by very fast.

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