EX farmers and VERY NEW to trucking, HELP dont know what to do!

by Kathy StJohn
(New London, PA)

My husband has just completed the basic training for the SHNEIDER trucking company. He is 53, I am 52 and we have been married for 33 yrs. We are EX dairy farmers.

We forced to sell our farm and we are in the process of doing that. In the mean time my husband needed work and the only thing he knew besides milking cows and managing a Dairy Farm was driving Grain trucks for other farmers. So he came up with the idea of getting his CDL and Hazmat and I forget the others.

He went out to Pittsburgh, PA for 10 days to do their training and he was HIRED. Then he comes home for a day or two or three who knows and then he will head out with a Mentor for about 4-6 weeks depending on how well he does.

Right now he is the top of his class out of 8 men.The instructors really like him and says he will do GREAT.

He has learned ALOT and really likes the company. He will be driving their bulk tanks.
We have been Farmers and use to be with each other 24/7

He was always there when I needed him or I could walk out the door and see him or we worked together in the office or barn. But now we will NOT!!

I have been SCARED/LONELY and MISSING him terribly for the last 10 days. GESH what am I going to be like when he is gone for longer. We have talked everyday 2-3 times a day and at nights we talk or just watch tv together like we were sitting here at home. But he is NOT allowed cell usage at all with this company not even hands free.

The stuff they haul is dangerous and they want the drivers minds on the road at all times. So we will have to cut the phone calls down too. He gets 6 days off a month which does not sound like much to me coming from someone who has lived our lives for the past 33 yrs. He gets insurance which is NICE because right now we have ZERO!

I cannot ride with him for 6 months. Which I completely understand due to the stuff he will be hauling in the tanks and he needs to have his mind completely on what he is doing and not worrying about me or anyone else with him.

We have 3 grown children and 2 grandchildren. My father who is 87 use to live with us and we had to recently move him into a nursing home. We have a daughter who lives with us and she works all day. We have 2 chocolate labs that are our Babies. Both girls/sisters and 4 yrs old. He ADORES them and he is NOT allowed to take any animals with him.

Our daughter is a BIG help being home here and ALOT of company when she gets home after work. We eat dinner together and watch tv. But our bed is EMPTY and even with the dogs in there too I still MISS his body. I lay there at nights snuggled up with our babies and I cry. Why has our life come to this?

I married a farmer because I love the farm life NOT the trucking lifestyle.

Can anyone help this VERY NEW trucking wife out with some support?

I have looked and looked for support forums but so far NONE are being used. Hope someone reads this one.

Comments for EX farmers and VERY NEW to trucking, HELP dont know what to do!

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Feb 10, 2011
by: Kathy

Thanks for ALL the encouraging words and Support. We have and still keep telling each other this is for a short time. That after he gets some experience other jobs will open up and he can find some with more home time. The Hardest part is being Apart.

I cannot wait until he is done his training with his company driver, which he just started today. Then when he is officially on his own with his own truck we can start counting down the 6 mths until I can ride along with him.

He left this morning after being home for 4 days for business meetings about selling our farm. We were BOTH in TEARS again.

His company Mentor is in NJ and we live in SE PA. So he is about 2 hrs away. So the company is paying for him to stay in a motel because his mentor is local and is home every night Late and weekends. So he will stay there during the week and come home on weekends.

So I guess you could say I am being broke in a little at a time.

All of this is just so D*M HARD! I too find myself just laying on the couch sleeping or watching TV. I am being treated for depression because of all the other issues that we are dealing with and then put this on top of it and BAM!

Not where we imagined our lives to be at right now. I married a farmer NOT a trucker. I wanted to live our lives and grow old together on the farm not with him on the road and me at home ALONE.

But this is where we are at and I am trying HARD to make the BEST of it. I am online researching, cut/pasting/printing all the information I can find about being a Helpful/Loving/Supportive truckers wife. Along with printing things off of helpful information for him.

I am also making up a photo album for him along with making copies of pictures for him to put up in his truck. Getting all kinds of ideas online to fix his truck up to feel more like home. I am Educating myself all I can about his company, his truck and job. I am making and organizing myself a Binder to help me as I go along on this journey.

If you have any websites that are a help to you please feel free to send them along to me.

Feb 10, 2011
Hang in there
by: Teri

My husband started driving long haul about 7 months ago because that's the only job hiring around here. I had such a hard time with it because we are best friends as well a spouses. We enjoy being with each other and him being home 4-6 days a month is really hard.

At first, I have to say, I was pretty much devastated. I actually went into a depression and couldn't sleep, barely taking care of our 3 boys.

It got better as I figured out a routine and got some hobbies going again. I try to keep busy. We got him a fancy smart phone, so I can email him and he can get back to me when he's stopped. Sometimes at night, we run out of things to say, but we stay on the line, like if we were just sitting by each other.

I let my church and my friends help me instead of trying to do it all myself.

Hope it gets better soon for you. Remember, it's not forever. Just for a season. Hopefully a short season.

Feb 06, 2011
it can get better
by: driver

a little time and experience he will score home time more often even at home weekly and rider spouse policy were you can ride. or study and be a driver ..that would be great..many options yall can take.. i bet he feels the same as you both of you are not wimps farming all these years tough and tough will get you throu yalls troubles.

it will get better steady and be strong..and think seriously about becoming truck driver. the only thing that can keep you from that is DOT physical. you pass that and your well on your way both team drivers..and plenty of companys to choose from to meet where you want to be..or just him driving is ok a little time he will have more choices when to be home..

i think you already know...you have a great husband that will not lay down and quit. he is doing this for his family..and so would you.. it will pan out. your man has took the first step to a better life for his family. you try to get involved in becoming a truck driver..or do you have diploma/GED free grants go back to school...

ask your husband how to get started and i bet he will have the answer..driving big trucks is you can learn..easy.. safety comes first..be mellow but ready for every thing always...keep it calm takes practice

Feb 06, 2011
Some info 4 u
by: american trucker

Misconceptions of a Truck Driving Job
We have all heard the saying "He's got a mouth like a truck driver". Growing up we hear
many things that steer us away or towards different jobs in life.

No thanks to Hollywood,its portrayal of truck drivers, and the bad accidents we see on the evening news, it seems truck drivers get a bad rap.

Most believe truck drivers are low paid vagrant types that live on the road drifting in
and out of trouble. These stereotypes I find to be humorous for I am a truck driver.

I have many peers and none of them fit this profile. My peers all make $65,000-$100,000
dollars a year with trucking jobs and most of us are home every day with our families.

We live in above average homes with above average toys. There is a truck driver shortage in this country that is growing larger every year. Every
time I see someone working a menial job living paycheck to paycheck struggling to
survive I scratch my head.

I can?t help but wonder if they have a driver?s license. Because having a driver?s license is all someone needs to get started and make the
aforementioned money in a year?s time with a trucking job.

There is no need to spend hundreds of thousands on a college education only to graduate too make much less with massive debt. Most would believe that a college degree would enable you to earn more money than with a trucking job.

I know many people with degrees whose salaries are not half of a truck driver. There are many high paying trucking jobs in the trucking industry available with no need to be away from home or live on the road.

I don't believe that the general public is aware these trucking jobs even exist. I know this because of the shocked looks on faces when I explain what I make, and what I do. The greatest thing about trucking jobs vs. a regular job is the amount of freedom you have.

You can't put a price on freedom of a trucking job, and you will find no other job that will give you as much of it.

So the next time you see a truck driver remember this; his investment portfolio and his home are probably 3 times the size of the average American household. He has no student loans to pay back and he has the freedom to talk "like a truck driver" if he wants to!

American Trucker

Feb 05, 2011
Feeling the same
by: Anonymous

We have been married for 25 years. Most of that time we were self employed and together 24/7.

It has been hard to adjust. I will not be able to go out with my husband as I have a 13 and 17 at home. My son went with his dad for a week.

Also my hubby has not been home for 6 a month since last August. So I would say that is a plus for you.

I am trying to remind myself we are doing this to keep a roof over the kids heads. I am trying to be positive.

The best words I have for you is that you are not alone. You are lucky to have your daughter at home. My goal is to find some new hobbies and try to be busy outside my home. For the last 25 it has been about my husband and children.

I know it is hard to change at this stage in life when I thought we would be settled.

Wishing you the best.

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