Disgusted Truckers Wife

by SweetKisses
(Texas)

My husband of 15 years cheated on me and I decided to stay and forgive him. We have 3 children together. He's been driving for over 5 years now. He bought his own truck 2 years ago thinking that he would be home more and now it's like he's gone more than ever.

Our sons need him more now than they did before. My oldest is 17 and he's growing up and truly needs his father around. I am very lonely. I have expressed this to him several times. He feels that buying me things will rectify the situation but I am not a materialistic person. That stuff does not phase me.

I want my husband to be here with us and I need him as well. He's very jealous. Does not want me to have male companions and I don't want any either because all they do is want sex from you and I'm not down with that. I'm an old fashion girl. I believe in KARMA.

I still love my husband but I am becoming disgusted because sometimes I think he takes me for granted and he dismisses me as If I'm nothing.

My feelings matter. I don't know what else to do. I was contemplating a divorce but I don't know if that will even solve my problems either!!

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Nov 13, 2015
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Same thing here NEW
by: Anonymous

My boyfriend of 4 years is a driver who now owns his own truck. He has a dedicated run and seems to be more and more miserable by the day.
We have had many discussions about his job. Doesn't matter what you say most times. I was very dedicated to him. I made coffee every weekend for the road, I made him food to take with him including his favorite snacks (brownies, Banana bread, etc.). I cleaned his truck, did his laundry, called or text him all the time. Then, he began telling me I was too clingy and I needed a hobby. So, about 3 years ago, I enrolled in college. I spent a lot of time on my studies all while raising 3 kids by myself, since he's never here anyways.
About 9 months ago, he met this truck stop waitress. I knew something was up because he was spending hours a day for weeks at the same place. So, I went through his phone and found all the texts. I looked up the number on facebook and found out who she was. When I confronted him, he lied of course and said he had no idea what I was talking about. Even tho I had the proof in front of his face. We have argued about this ever since. Yea, he buys me things to try to make up for it. But now I have all these doubts that won't go away. I don't trust him anymore, and I've stopped doing anything for him. Now, it just feels like he's a paycheck. I work full time and am still in school. I always get "you don't have time for me." Which is why he chose to do what he did. So, I can understand why you're upset. I'd say hang in there, but I'm not a hypocrite. If it's over, it's over. I know it is forbus. Best to you and your kids.

Aug 18, 2015
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mmm NEW
by: Anonymous

I am not materialistic either...I'm extremely thrifty too. I love all the gifts and spoiling my trucker does for me!! I'm not going to sit here and lie, it feels nice when he brings me my favorite things, and takes me out to buy clothes, perfume, movies, or dinner. What girl doesn't like this?? You have got to be outta your mind!! Try and get over it or get out of the kitchen or stand and watch it burn down its up to you. good luck.

Aug 16, 2015
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Think it through NEW
by: Anonymous

I am a regional truckers girlfriend / fiance. I am leaving him due to the same your going through. fortunately we have no children together. he even has his boxer on the road with him. dies not matter. once a cheater he will do it again especially now he can get away with it more easily. yes the lot lizards are pretty ugly I seen them while on road for 3 months w/him. when guys want it looks don't matter.

Aug 16, 2015
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.. NEW
by: Anonymous

I've heard of tons of relationship issues in the short time I've spent on the road as a trucker.

I haven't had any relationship issues myself, because it's just me and my dog. I haven't got any kids or girlfriends :P . That's why I chose this as a career.

This just isn't the job for somebody with a good woman and kids at home. But times became tough, and people did what they had to do in order to make ends meet.

Times are changing though, and more local jobs are becoming available. Not just trucking jobs either. Maybe it's time for your husband to change careers.

He could also try having somebody else drive the truck for him. I've heard of people who start out as drivers but end up becoming fleet owners sitting at home with their families wile other people are driving their trucks.

I can't tell your husband what to do though. But maybe you can. Tell him what you've said here. If having him home is more important than the paychecks he sends home, tell him.

Or you can continue to endure it for now. If there's a goal your husband is persuing, and it's not too far off, just hang in there. Lots of families and wives are enduring while their husbands are away, working to support them. Many husbands are coming home in caskets, killed in wars they never started.

But I suppose it might be easier that way rather than sitting there worried about what he is doing and if he's being faithful. You don't have much to worry about with that though. There aren't many opportunities for love affairs on the road, not when you're putting on the miles. Lot lizards aren't much to look at either. If you're still worried you could send him some pleasing photos, and there's always Skype video chat. That might help keep him yours and yours only.

Kids will grow up with or without a father. Mine was never around when I was a kid, still isn't. I turned out just fine. I'm not sure why your son so desperately needs his father there, but theres lots of help out there for rebellious teenagers. School counselors, after school programs, ROTC, or drug counciling if that's the issue.

You weren't all that descriptive about your situation, so I just shared whatever thoughts and advice I could offer. I hope you find some of it helpful. Best of luck to you and your family.

Aug 15, 2015
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Thank you NEW
by: Disgusted Truckers wife

BJConover
I truly don't want a divorce but I've talked to him over and over about the same situation and it just seems like I keep repeating the same thing over and over. I have 3 kids and sometimes I don't want my kids to even know what we are going through but sometimes it's hard.

Aug 15, 2015
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comment NEW
by: BJConover

I know you don't REALLY want a divorce because if you did you wouldn't complain that he's gone too much. Next time he's home try sitting him down and talking to him, or write him a letter and give it to him. Tell him everything you just said here. Don't make it sound like a command though. Don't say it's either us or the road.

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