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Discouraged/confused wife

by Anonymous Driver Wife
(USA )

Bluntly is all I know to be at this point, I'm sorry. My husband (otr driver) and I trying to reconcile our marriage. He was homeless in truck driving school we attended together, (I have an apartment he's NOT on my lease and has never been here).

I married him anyhow upon graduating. We then separated almost immediately- I am no longer driving due to health issues (I currently have cancer) 3 1/2 yrs later we have started talking and trying last couple months to work things out.

He's not coming to visit once and hasn't offered to contribute whatsoever to finance, except this month when he paid my 45 dollar straight talk phone card) and gets upset if I don't answer... Yet he says he loves me and wants to transfer to another company closer to where I am.

He insists we go to marriage counseling... But so far it just seems like talk. He's STILL homeless (living in his truck at terminal) when he's on home time.

Although I've NEVER asked him for a penny- he always says he broke and can't afford to eat?

Please tell me what I'm missing here? Any advice is appreciated please be honest, just don't be mean. Thank you in advance

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Jul 19, 2017
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Situation resolved (!!!
by: Anonymous

Can you please help me remove this posting?

Jul 19, 2017
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Re: how long/Hervy
by: Anonymous

Hi Hervy. Thanks for your response. Well, to be totally honest like young dumb girl I met then married him at/after school. (I had just come from a messy situation and blindly believed everything I was told. To my knowledge he doesn't use any type of drug or drink. His children are adults. (No child support). I have no children of my own.
He hooked up with another woman after we married and a few lizards- and I've not seen him since. A friend said he was looking for me, and because I CHOSE TO WALK IN FORGIVENESS, I reached out to talk to him (phone/video). I definitely all for counseling but before I that, I need questions answered. Such as: why after dang near 4 yrs are you homeless (a storage unit doesn't cost that much) why accuse me of doing something I shouldn't ( I go to oncologist church and grocery store) if I don't immediately answer a phone call/text)
He's s very smooth talker- everything I want to hear, and quoting bible verses yet, he twists them and says he has authority over me... and how it's the Husband job to do this and that.
I have become independent and grown so much in the last few years. I pay ALL of my own bills and provide just fine for myself, and once I kick this cancers butt I'll be even better. My next question-
Do otr drivers REALLYmake such little money that they have to live in company truck? And 3 1/2 yrs later he still honestly is so broke he can't eat some days? I am really having time understanding believing and accepting that.

The reason I've said so much about this situation and the backstory is cuz I'm literally in the fight for my life (health wise) and I don't have the mental and emotional energy for more bs.

Jul 19, 2017
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How Long Did You Know Him Prior to Trucking School
by: Hervy

I don't know if you met this guy in trucking school or new him for a while earlier.

Why that matters is because if you only knew him for a short while the fact of the matter is you don't really know him.

The answers to these questions might help you understand what is going on in his world...

Why specifically is he homeless? (after 3 years driving, unless he is saving his money to pay cash for a house or truck or something, he should have a place)

What does he do with his money?

Is he or has he been addicted to alcohol or drugs?

Does he have kids outside of your marriage?

Does he or have behavior that emulates mental issues that would keep him from following through or making good decisions? (Because I don't know why he is still homeless or follows through with his own suggestions.)

How did previous relationships he was end work out?

Now, you also want to self reflect on some of those questions if they apply?

As far as him paying the bills and you just started back talking, I don't know how to respond to that. Depends on the details of your relationship it could be unreasonable or reasonable to expect him to chip in.

I don't even know why yall split in the first place. So you have to take that into account and make sure what caused you to split has been properly dealt with and not just overlook because 3 plus years has gone by.

Best of luck. I think you should get him to you with counseling as soon as possible while he is at least saying he is willing to go.

You might need to tell shut off interacting unless it is about specific time and date of attending counseling first.

Meanwhile, you should be seeking ways to earn money online since you medical issues that you are dealing with.

Here is an example of what I am talking about
Click Here!

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