Improving Long Distance Relationships
Driving a truck means a lot of time away from family. For new drivers this could be up to 5 or 6 weeks in training and 2 to 4 weeks at a time after training. The
type of truck driving job,
and how far you live from a terminal or heavily traveled lane of operation will determine how much time will pass between each visit. Obviously, this could easily have a serious negative impact on the family. Keeping the relationship strong is essential.
10 Ideas for keeping the Relationship Strong
Other ways to help overcome distance in the relationship
- Don't take each other for granted.
- Tell each other, "I Love You"
- Ask your spouse, "What things can I do that would should you that I love you?" (Men and women, communicate love differently and individuals communicate love differently.)
- Don't wait to be treated right first. You start it off.
- Praise your spouse 7 times for something sincerely before criticizing, finding fault or complaining once. Every time.
- Let the little things matter. Stop nagging
- Keep yourself looking as attractive as you were when you first met to the best of your ability
- Surprise him/her with romantic acts. Leave the note
- Men she needs to be shown affection. (stated by women from survey)
- Women he needs sex. (stated by men from survey)
Make sure you are communicating as effectively as possible. That means practice not taking things for granted and not placing blame.
"I thought you were gonna . . . "
"Why didn't you tell me blah blah blah", "well, I thought you knew . . ." and on and on and on it could with similar situations.
None of this will work anymore, it's not good when the family is going through those exchanges under the same roof, but it may kill the relationship altogether when all of a sudden the significant other becomes a trucker and spends most of the time driving and away from the family.
When problems in communication arise all members, the driver and the spouse must not be so quick to place blame on the each other for things not turning out as desired.
Instead, try to see the situation from the others person's point of view. Then you should both try to focus on how the to improve the communication as to avoid the same type of situation again.
Communication means more than contacting each other frequently. It means understanding each other. Here are some common issues between men and women.
Men (Things that you might need to change)
- Some men have a tendency to expect the woman to think logically and handle a situation the same way he would.
- some men have a tendency to feel his call home does not matter to the wife. Because of this he will blow it off in times of stress or fatigue.
- Some men have a tendency to blow off doing things when they get home, feeling as though having worked up to the point of getting home should be sufficient contribution to the household.
- Some men have a tendency to believe that if something is wrong with the relationship from the spouse's perspective she will say something. Pay attention to her, and if you see that something is wrong don't ignore it because she won't speak up.
- Some men have a tendency to not compliment their wives and let her know he is aware of how much work she does to run the home while he is on the road. Stop holding back! Hug her, thanks her, and tell her, "I Love You So Much"
- Some men demand the woman to make effort to keep herself up while he allows himself to get completely out of shape.
Women (Things that you might need to change)
- Some women have a tendency to expect a man to read her mind.
- Some women have a tendency to think men don't call home because they don't care. (often we just don't think it matters that much to you, OR you don't seem interested when we call so we will stop calling, or all you do is complain so we stop calling)
- Some women have a tendency to keep her feelings inside instead of expressing the problems that she has with the relationship. (speak up but don't nag, don't blame him for anything, just state what is wrong and how it is affecting you)
- Some women use her responsibilities and busy life as an excuse for not trying to be physically appealing (attractive) to their husband when he comes home. Then you feel insecure about other women on the road. Huh? Tighten up!
- Some women tend to let themselves go completely because they are stressed about the overall situation, the result is even more stress and depression upon realization that she is gaining weight or even getting older (although she may not exactly identify why she feels down)
You might notice that at the heart of these problems is a breakdown of communication. Assumptions and expectations are replacing conversation. One more key component is focusing on self instead of making sure there is enough appreciation and affection shown for each other person.
If you make yourself aware of these issues, you are then empowered to behave in a way to decrease their presence in the relationship.
Even if you alone are aware and do what is possible to address these issues or prevent them, it will have positive affects on the relationship. (With the exception of you being in a relationship with someone who is abusive, which likely means he/she will view you having a giving attitude as weakness or display of guilt for some wrong doing.)
Even though you are away from family, the experience can create growth, maturity and strength within the family unit if you will take personal responsibility for your part in improving your behavior. Your spouse will come around if he/she is sincere and committed in the relationship.
Relationship Advice Video and 4 Pitfalls To Avoid
Disadvantages of Trucking
Impact On The Marriage
Impact on the Children
Tips and ideas for long distance relationships