To catch a cheating spouse or boyfriend

by Hate Being a trucking wife
(Alabama)

All that worry about their spouses or guys cheating as I do, with all this crap out there like Ashley Madison, Pof, and how easy it is to just put in a zip code, set up a date............lets band together and make a website where we all

somehow secretly are looking out for these smut guys who are seeking women in all these different cities.

I have a decent bit of computer smarts. We all know how to make a profile on a site....................Now, to just share with each other who our Man is,,,,,,,,,,,,,a picture of him,,,,,,,,,,,,etc.

Lets make them afraid to try and contact someone.........as we all have spies out there watching?

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Mar 16, 2016
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Mine would be mad too but NEW
by: Anonymous

Mine already knows I dont trust, and it is an issue. Of course they get mad with any questioning, and yes I guess there is the possibility of someone posting a pic trying to cause trouble. If only to figure out how anonymously. Its so sad there are sites like Ashley Madison promoting cheating, then POF. All you just plug in a zip code and there they are to contact and meet.
I also know if you dont trust you should not be with that person, but there are circumstances where you Are stuck with that person, or you are just trying to be a good wife and hang in there, until you KNOW 100% he is unfaithful.
Its so easy to create fake profiles on these dating sites for men and women, and the good part is though, I would have to see a picture before I met anyone. If they are on there contacting other women/men lol, then they know there is a risk to be found out. It is slim, but it is possible if there were folks watching in certain towns, etc for guys that look like say a site we all posted pics on? Its a good idea if it could work

Mar 12, 2016
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Good Idea, but..... NEW
by: Anonymous

I think having that kind of website to share with truckers wives (photos of their truck driver spouse/boyfriends) is a good idea except what if your man ends up finding out and seeing that you've posted his picture and info ? Then he will accuse you of not trusting him and a big argument or relationship problems may start over this....Also, what if he truly has done nothing but someone e-mails you and makes up a lie about seeing him with a woman, cause there are those types of people out there.....

Good idea but I know my man would be so ticked off if he found me posting his pic like that and making it public....

Mar 10, 2016
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to this man NEW
by: Anonymous

Really liked what this man said, and sure wish all thought as he does.

Mar 10, 2016
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I don't think that is the best solution
by: Hervy

I can see how that seems plausible. Like you said, a lot of women feel the same as you.

However, if you were asking my advice, I would say to try and think about what makes you worry about him cheating.

If there are reasons that you feel he would cheat, that is where you want to try and place some attention. That is the root of the problem. Depending on what it is, it may not be in your total power to change but there is likely something that you can do.

I know some women simply believe ALL men will cheat if they can. That is just not true. Most good men will not cheat and in fact don't have time to cheat because they are doing other things like working on personal goals or spending that free time talking to the family back at home.

I know by the comments that many women refuse to believe that and I can't change what you believe. However, if you refuse to believe (or at least consider that) from a person (in this case man) who benefits in no way to tell you that, then that is a hint of one of the things that might be wrong in the relationship. (Stubborn mind, irrational thinking, etc)

Another reason might be a low quality guy that makes you feel that way. That is a little harder to fix (address). If he wants a good/lasting/strong relationships then you can suggest counseling but if he has a flawed thought process or poor character then it might be difficult to get him to talk to a counselor.

For ladies who are level minded and have a good man but just are worried due to the negative stories that they hear, just be proactive and nurture the relationship.

Also be proactive and communicate about the future of relationship. How to keep it strong. In other words take preventive measure to remain close to each other. You won't have to worry about cheating. Just do the things that makes the relationship strong. I really suggest the book by Dr. Laura, "The Care and Feeding of Marriages".

And I study this stuff because I am a man who wants to have the best relationship possible. So my advice is an honest and level headed as possible with no desire to mislead you. So take it with an open mind and not from a defensive standpoint. I don't want anything from you except you and don't have anything to gain. I just hate to see so many couples struggling and focused on the wrong thing ignoring elements of the relationship that can be and usually needs to be fixed. (Often more related to the personal development of each partner. For instance self esteem, self love, negative self talk, lack of compassion, etc) If those types of things are present, it negatively affects the relationships. If each individual if trying to improve who he/she is as a person it strengthens the relationship automatically.

Didn't mean to get into all of that but I hope that you and other couples will read all of that because it is important and it matters in this relationship, the next relationship and all relationships.

Be the type of person that you want to be with. If each person does that, the relationship is better. But again, if you are not with a good quality person in the beginning, that is another can of worms.

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