Severely disturbed Husband/Father
I am not a wife, but a daughter of an OTR trucker in which I graduate from high school May of 2017 and then off to college to major in psychology that maybe some day I will be able to analyze my Dad but sadly he may be beyond help.
Right now I am on winter break and wanted to do this post and in my spare time I browse thru this site and I never thought that I would be doing this post and I am hoping that someone reading this can offer some insight on how to handle this situation till my Mom and I move out and move out of state away from a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde Husband/Father.
Can't believe we lost a once loving husband and father due to OTR trucking.
His behavior and actions have my Mom and I feeling out of balance and do not know whether we are coming or going and I do not know if my Dad is aware of his crazy behavior and it seems he can do no wrong. According to him, everybody else is wrong but never him.
Well my Dad now has been doing this OTR for 5.5 years when I was 11.5 years old and he got into this when he lost two jobs that moved to Mexico and a neighbor suggested OTR telling him this is one way of your company not moving.
Before my Dad started OTR, I remember my Dad a very loving and attentive husband and father, even when my Dad first started OTR for after three years he was fine and unchanged but these last few years he started to be a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde and my Mom and I always was very loving and supportive to him when he would be home for home time but now that has come to an end.
As I said it is his behavior and actions that have both my Mom and I wondering what could be going on since my Dad now is emotionally distant and abusive emotionally, not physically, and he does not want to talk things over and does the silent treatment and then a month later he'll talk to us like nothing happened.
Some of his behaviors and actions without provocation from anyone are: out of the blue he would start verbal fights with my Mom, nitpicks at everything, temper tantrums, cussing, banging things, throwing things, cussing at my friends (he called one a lazy fat f***ing c**t, and he threatened to slap the crap out of her and he even told her he would slap the s**t out of her.
My Mom was at work when he cussed and threatened my friend, yelling at me and my Mom. My Mom tells him he will respect us in which he ignores her requests, when my Mom tells him to apologize, he says forget about it, let it go, you ask him what is bothering him, he says nothing.
You tell him we have problems, he says no we don't. On Father's Day, I was going to cook him breakfast but he snuck out in the middle of the night without telling us or giving us a hug and a kiss and he did not spend his day with me so when I called him on my cellphone to ask him why he left and I wished him a Happy Father's Day, he never thanked me, asked where he was at since his truck was gone out of the driveway. I got as an answer it was none of my business, all I need to know is he is OTR, so I threw his cards away in the trash. I was hurt.
He's a slob, he'll leave plates on the dining room table and expects us to clean up for him. Drops food and does not pick up the food. The 5 days he was home he got a shower only one time and that was the day he left to go out over the road, and when we told him to get a shower, he told us don't tell him what to do. He stunk.
Now for the first 3.5 years he was OTR it was great with my Dad and he did say when he came home for home time it felt great to be off the road and spend time with his family that means so much to him. Well that was before my Dad got involved with a handful of truckers that he has in his phone contacts. All I can say is I guess he got in with the wrong bunch in which he may be getting influenced or controlled by these questionable truckers or if he has a woman or women on the side that we don't know about, but whatever is affecting my Dad, he sure is acting like he has checked out on his family and no longer wants to be a family man and I think he just came home to get out of the truck for awhile.
He seems to be very unhappy with us and he gives me the impression of being torn between us and whoever or whatever out there that may be making him happier.
Trucking does change a person. I remember reading about a wife posting on here that her trucker husband abandoned his wife and dog 1,400 miles from home, that means he put them in the truck and kicked them out at a truck stop after getting them 1,400 miles from home and telling his company he's thru with marriage. A real nice guy to let his wife and her dog to get back home on their own.
Who knows this guy may be one of my Dad's undesirable trucker friends.
My Dad may not be at my high school graduation due to his OTR but I know my Mom will be there and that is all I need because my Mom has always been there for me!
So, again, I hope someone can give me some ideas on what is going on since my Dad refuses to discuss anything with my Mom and I and since my Dad seems to be emotionally distant and I can share these ideas with my Mom who works very hard for her and I.