not sure what to think

by L

Hello all well i have a problem with the way i feel about my husband i love him more than anything but i'm not sure if he is being honest with me about a few things.

When he was home for a few days i was cleaning out his bag and found some pills that some men use to get the cocks up but when i said something about them he got mad at me. So i'm not sure if he is using them for us or for something going on when he's gone for 3 weeks.

The other thing is he has started drinking alot when he is home and that's not something he use to do.

When he went back on the road in the begining he was gone for the week now it's 3weeks so any advise as to what may be going on or am i just fooling myself to think that he really loves me or is he using me.

We have only been married 8 months. Now i find myself depressed all the time and just thinking what do i do now...anything at this point would help.


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Nov 25, 2016
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Aug 25, 2011
your thinking is on track
by: hervy

Hate to see you going through this. I agree with Lara, time for a very serious discussion and some marriage counseling.

Don't ask him if he will go to counseling, ask him if he cares about the relationship. If says yes, tell him that if he is serious counseling of some sort is what might save it. Then him why (how you feel and why)

Include how things have changed (his actions in particular) and you don't feel the same connection, but instead feel neglected and you want someone out side the relationship to provide insight to both of you how you can improve it to where it was.

I don't really see how that can be taken in a negative way, so if he reacts poorly(mad, enraged, etc.), you'll just have to get advise on what do next.

Maybe talk to a counselor yourself if need be. I think he/she will tell you the same thing I.would tell you if they only know what I know. But they will learn much more about your situation and so should better fitting advise taking more of what's going on into account.

It's just an ugly and sad situation your in.

It can get lonely on the road but it doesn't really drive you, to behave a certain way it allows you to. There are intentional methods of countering loneliness especially if your married.

We people just have to learn a lot more about relationships, ourselves, and develop a deeper concern about other people in my opinion. In a culture where anything goes, you can't just sit back and let life happen, you'll easily find the wrong things happening with you as a participant.

You have to intentional function with what your desires.for.the future are. If you want a happy marriage, there are things you put in place to achieve those goals.

Neglect, cheating, etc won't do it. Constant communication and others showing of love, respect, desire, need, appreciation, affection, commitment, etc will.

People today don't really consider as much how what they do will hurt others or themselves even as long as its fun for
them or suits their needs at the moment. Just a reality today. Look around at the news.

That's a dangerous state mind but it is common.

How did it get so common? well look at the messages and concepts pushed by entertainment and that should help.explain it. Add in the lack of morals and standards taught at home combined with a movement to eliminate all things religious all around us. Not much left to happen but the natural imperfections of man (humans) including our attitudes towards things (like relationships) to be out of whack.

Again, that's why we must be intentional and proactive in what we do to get the desired results.

Aug 24, 2011
Not sure what to think
by: Lara

You need to get away from him immediately. The same thing happened to my husband when he became an over the road trucker. The loneliness is unbelievable for these guys and it drives them to do strange things. Leave him while you still can. If he really loves you he will come back and tell you what is going on with him, possibly get him into counseling ASAP.

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