Newly Married for a year and have seen my husband less than 2 month

by Sad Wife
(oklahoma)

Hello Everyone

My story might be a bit different from other truckers wife out there. When i met my husband i already knew he was a truck driver, but i had no idea what a truck driver's life is like.

When my husband asked me to marry him it was over the phone, we got married and my husband was out on the road the 3rd day of our wedding.

Since then we have moved to a different state and still he is always on the road. I am living in a small town where i have no friends or family and i don't drive so i have spent the last 8 months inside.

My husband was sweet enough to buy me a dog with whom i spend all my days and night. He comes home for 2 and max 3 days and most of those time we don't get a chance for me to get my Driver license.

Most of the time the first day of him being home he is tired, cranky and the second day we go grocery shopping, for which we have to drive almost 2 hours to get to a nice shopping area. And by the time we get back home that night husband is once again in his cranky mood.

when he goes out on the road, he apologizes for his behavior and blames it on his long hours,loneliness etc.

I Feel that he thinks, since i am at home all day and everyday i must have the better part of the deal but he doesn't realize even thought i don't have a wheel on my 800+ apt but still i am a prisoner without the freedom to go anywhere.

The only friend i have is my TV and internet. I tried making friend with neighbors but they walk away when i say Hi. I didn't realized what i was marrying into, I love my husband very much but his cranky moods, and loneliness is just kills me. I am turning into insomniac.

I don't feel like talking to my friends from before my wedding anymore, when i talk to my friends and family they ask me what's new and when they ask me that question I don't really have any answer for them.

I do talk a lot about my dog, everyone thinks its nuts that i talk so much about my dog but that is the only new thing or person in my life.

I haven't really gone anywhere, i haven't really done anything, i haven't really have my husband home for much longer than 2-3 days to have gone for a vacation anywhere.

To sum it all up I have nothing new.

I wonder if it really is worth the money? From what he earns, by the time i am done paying his/ or the way my husband likes to call it our bills, and paying for his child from his first marriage, there is hardly anything to save.

He keeps on promising me that he will find another job, but really? when will you look for another job if you are driving for 14 hours a day and when you come home you don't even have time for your wife.

I understand life on the road might be extremely hard but i wish he will let that all go the min he gets down from his truck driver's seat and comes home. I have been after all waiting to see him for many days, but when he comes in and he is so upset and cranky, i am once again all alone even when he is home.

All he wants to do according to him is seat and watch TV and i should just let him be.

I wonder if all the truck drivers are like that or am i the only one who is married to one cranky truck driver.
Sad wife

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May 06, 2013
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I know... NEW
by: Anonymous

Hi Sad, sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

I am in the same boat as you are. I do live near a city and do work full time in a career that I enjoy. But, I miss my OTR driver terribly when he is gone for 6 weeks at a time. We have been together for 7 years. He has only been driving for three of these. My observation is that he is cranky all of the time, he has gained weight and is not the healthy vibrant man I met. I do love him very much and I am proud of his hard work, but I personally can no longer handle the lonliness. When we do have time together - I experience the same... tired, unmotivated, doesn't want to do anything but sit in front of the TV and bitch and moan. The last time he was home, he was so miserable, he drank an entire bottle of scotch in one afternoon. Not his style to drink at all.... I gave him an ultimatum just today. I feel badly that the situation has gotten to this point but I deserve to be with someone who wants to be with me and share a relationship instead of just being negative with each phone call. I originally encouraged him to get his CDL as he felt he did need to make a career change. Funny, my father and my brother were both truck drivers - I thought I could handle the distance. I am pretty independent but have discovered at almost 50 years old and with no children at home that I do like to be around the ones I love and in a positive way. I hope you are able to find something suitable for yourself. Keep talking to him and do what is best for you.

Apr 02, 2013
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Sad Wives NEW
by: Anonymous

Sad Wives should get a happy life... divorce and marry into happiness... not marry into sadness..makes no sense...just saying..

Apr 01, 2013
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To MMMM NEW
by: Sad Wife

Hello MMM

Yes i understand what you are saying, if I was in your place I would have felt the same way.But first of all when we decided to get married, his company was allowing spouse to join the trucker to go on the road but just 15 days before our wedding the company changed ownership and they took away the Pet and Wife Policy, and when we moved down here from Colorado the only thought we had was that he would be home more often but that is not the case and yes i am educated, and have a computer but that doesn't get me a DL where you need to take a DL test. I wish i could go by myself and do it but they do require someone else to drive me there. In case of food, My husband loves me very much and he makes sure i have enough food for a month or more if you count the can food. He bought me an extra Refrigerator and a beautiful Yorkie that way I will not feel bad.
I don't want anyone to feel Sorry for me, that was not my purpose of sharing my story. I am sorry you felt i was seeking sympathy.
I was jut sharing my feeling with ladies out there who are in the same shoe with me and may be make some friends, even though its only online.

Take care
Sad Wife

Apr 01, 2013
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I wish i could join him NEW
by: Sad Wife

I wish i could go on the road with him, but 15 days before we got married the company he works for has taken the spouse and pet policy away.

Mar 04, 2013
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Jump on in, the water's fine.... NEW
by: Anonymous

Welcome to the club. This will be your life; unless you make changes. Perhaps join him on the road or move closer to the City. Why would you marry a trucker if you knew what his occupation was like? Not fair to him either....

Mar 04, 2013
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Thats about it NEW
by: Anonymous

Well my dear; you've pretty much summed up what life is like as a truckers wife. Only you can change things cause he sure won't. Maybe go on the road with him. Or mive somewhere you have more access to the city.

Mar 04, 2013
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why not go with him. NEW
by: Anonymous

He ever mention you can go with him? get your license.

Mar 04, 2013
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mmmmm NEW
by: Anonymous

First of all why would you allow him to move you to such a remote area? This just doesn't add up and you have no drivers license and he is finding it hard to get to the DMV but willing to drive 2 hours for groceries? Doesn't make sense and yes you are a prisoner... your husbands prisoner. You chose to do this and it is up to you to choose to pull out and stand up for yourself!! Who would do this to anyone???? Not to mention what happens if he gets stuck out on the road for a month and cant get home.. how the hell will you get any food??? You cannot be that uneducated you write well, and you have access to a computer so I have a feeling you are leaving things out and want someone to feel sorry for you.....

Just something to think about...

Mar 04, 2013
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First get your license NEW
by: Anonymous

Hi Sad Wife,
Sorry you are feeling like his! To survive being a truckers wife, you need to develop things outside the home or you will go crazy. Get your license! Then get a job! A job will give you an outlet to meet new people. Are you able to go with him on the road? Some companies have a rider policy. Go with him once in a while if you can. See what his life is like! Also, have you told him how you are feeling? Communication is THE biggest thing in this life. Without it you will be strangers. If you truly love him it will be worth it!!!!!

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