My boyfriend says he loves me but treats me like crap. It's stressing me.I don't know what to do/say. Any advice for a trucker's girlfriend

by Chris
(Indiana)

I'll try to make this short. I have been with my bf for 4 months now. When we first met, he drove for an outfit where he was home every other night. Which was fine and worked for us. I had a night to do what I wanted, then we typically spent the other evening together visiting his friends or having dinner.

Well about 2 months ago he starting driving for another outfit where he's gone about 5 nights in a row. I can deal with that. Its not always fun and I miss having someone to talk to every night. I'm an only child, so I can deal with being alone and entertaining myself, so that part is fairly easy for me. We don't have any kids at the present.

But the problem is when he's home he wants to work me to death. I try to do all I can for him while he's gone, I get all I need to get done at my house while he's gone. But he's very bosey, its not "will you help with this" or "do you mind helping with that", its "go do this", etc. And he doesn't understand that I have a lot of stress with my new job, that weekends are my weekends too and that I need to be able to unwind.

I don't feel I get any respect or appreciation for anything while he's gone. I'm a very faithful person, I don't talk to anyone else. I work very hard at my job and getting things done outside of that. He seems to hold against me that I'm home every night and thats not fair.

He applied for this job and got the job which is great, but unfair that he holds it against me that I'm home and he's not. And lately when he is home, he's got a crappy attitude with me. For all the 10 things I do right, he still finds one thing wrong to yell at me for. And I don't understand it. There is no slack.

I want him to be respectful of me. He doesn't realize that its hard for me sitting home alone all the time and wanting him around to talk to about my day. And what makes matters worse, he never asks me about my day or how my week went or anything. He seems very self-centered and that my life should stop when he's home.

I spend all my time with him when he is home, but the other part of the problem is, he always wants me to drive him around so he can visit friends and drink to the point of being way too drunk. I hate missing him all week, just to spend a day and a half with him drunk and with friends all the time.

He doesn't understand that I need him alone sometimes without the beer. I don't drink at all and I need that sometimes.

He got drunk Saturday night and said some awful things to me before passing out and I left and went home. I can't lie there in bed with him, if he's going to talk to me that way. Its now Monday and he won't respond to any of my texts and its driving me nuts.

I sit here, not knowing whats going on, or where we stand or anything. I don't like having a fight and then him going on the road and heaven forbid something were to happen to him. I couldn't live with that.

He tells his friends all the time how great he thinks I am, and how he thinks I'm the best thing thats ever happened to him and that he loves me to death. Problem is, he doesn't really treat me that way or tell me when he is home.

I'm feeling taken forgranted and underappreciated and not loved. I want him to talk to me, but he won't respond. ANd what happened Saturday, he was in the wrong, not me. I would admit it, if it were. But he's so danged hard on me.

He says I'm almost perfect, but I need a little tweaking. I feel like everything I try to do, he's going to find something wrong with it and I get over paranoid about everything. I'm losing confidence in my self. I'm not an idiot, I was just recently offered a position at my company where I'm now a supervisor and right now I'm in the learning process and its very stressful for me sometimes.

I try to talk to him about it, bc he used to have his own excavating business and he knows how to handle employees etc, so I look to him for advice, but he never wants to talk about my day or week.

I just feel like I can't please him, no matter how hard I try. He tells me all the time that he's a hard man to get along with, but when he's sweet, he's sweet. I just need it more, especially when he's home.

I wish he'd see me trying and appreciate it, more than slam me for when I'm wrong. See that I'm trying and acknowledge that. I'm of the type of personality, where if someone rides my butt about something, it just makes me shut down. I don't do well that way.

Give me some positive reinforcement and I'll strive to do better. But yelling at me, just makes me more paranoid.

Not sure what to do here, does anyone have a similiar siutation and how to deal? I lost so much sleep late Saturday and Sunday night and its making me literally sick to my stomach, bc he won't answer me. Its not like him to not talk to me.

I know that message was kinda all over the place, but I'm kinda venting, since I can't vent anywhere else and he won't talk to me. He says were together and were together for the long haul. If so, then my shut me out and act like a 4 year old by ignoring me??

Thanks in advance for any advice you have.
Chris

Comments for My boyfriend says he loves me but treats me like crap. It's stressing me.I don't know what to do/say. Any advice for a trucker's girlfriend

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Jul 25, 2014
HOW TO GET YOUR EX BACK NEW
by: Anonymous

i never ever believed in spell until i meet a man called Dr.Lawrence,who help me cast a spell that bring back my ex-lover who left me for two years before our marriage,His spells works beyond my imaginations and today i am happily married with two kids and me and my ex-lover now husband and wife very happy more than ever before,what more can i say rather than to say thank you DR.Lawrence for being there for me,contact him Today and your life will never ever remain the same.YOU CAN CONTACT HIM VIA EMAIL...drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com

Jul 10, 2014
how i got my ex back NEW
by: chloe

My name is chloe and i want to testify of the good work done by a faithful lord masuka, a spell caster. in my life i never thought there is such thing as spiritual intercession. my problem started 5 months back when the father of my kids started putting up some strange behavior, i never knew he was having an affair outside our matrimonial home. it dawn on me on that faithful day 4th of April 21st 4:23pm when he came to the house to pick his things that was when i knew that situation has gotten out of hand and he then told me he was quitting the marriage which i have built for over 6 years, i was confused and dumbfounded i called on family and friends but to no avail. two months after i started having problem with my kids welfare rent-age and all of it, i really went through hell. until a day i was browsing on the internet and i happen to meet lord masuka his email lordmasukaspelltemple@hotmail.com i never believed on this but i needed my man back so i gave the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it but you know a problem shared is half solved after a 2days my husband called me telling me that he his coming back home and that was all. now we are living happily, friends contact him on this email: lordmasukaspelltemple@hotmail.com for help

Jun 13, 2014
thanks to dr inibokun NEW
by: Cecilia

I want to thank God for using dr Inibokun as my source of salvation after 2 years of unemployment and my lover left me alone, i was left with a only broken heart until I met a Lady's testimony on a facebook page on how she was helped by the same Dr. Inibokun, so i decided to contact him and when I told him all my problems, he laughed and said this is not a problem, everything will be fine in three days, if i could only provide everything he will ask me to provide. So i provided everything and Exactly on the third day, my ex lover call me surprisingly and what surprised me most was that a company i applied for more than four months earlier called and said I should resume work as soon as possible.Am very grateful to Dr. Inibokun. He was a great help and relief. Dear friends if you wish to contact him, his email is (drinibokunspell@gmail.com).

He also makes the spells on the following
(1) If you want your ex back.
(2) if you need a divorce in your relationship
(3) if you Want to be promoted in your office.
(4) if you Would want men/women run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) Do you want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband and wife to be yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9) if you are in need of Herbal Care.

Contact him today at (drinibokunspell@gmail.com)
Cheers friends!!! :)

May 21, 2014
Dr. Oshogum is Your help to every marriage/ relationship or any problem NEW
by: Anonymous

Read This. i Gracy try so many of this spell casters when my husbands tends to divorce me because he thought i keep a secret from him before we get married. they all ask of different thing with money and i provide to each because my husband is my life and i love him so much but they all disappoint me till the court finally sign our divorce document so we go apart last 3years 2012 march 15 i packed to my new house......one day while i was alone( within February ) i just decide to get some knowledge on how to cope with divorce and forget the memories of my past husband because i thought he had marry another woman. while i was reading online i saw how Dr (oshogumspelltemple@live.com) help some men and women get all they desired including healing the sick one. i just decide to contact oshogum also and just ask him how much his work cost but replied and said it free but i most tell the word how he solved my problem if he can do it. so i promised and he sent me the name of materials that his great god demand to get man back. my friend in Norway help me get the items because i could not get the materials here in Germany and she also send it to him. after two days he told me to call my husband but his number was disconnected but he direct me to call my husband work phone that i did, once my husband heard my voice he was very happy, he asked me were i was, i told him my new house. i was so surprise to him in my house. i never believe he can ever come back again. he beg for forgiveness and true love. We both go the same court to terminate the divorce agreement. Still like i am dreaming to see Davidson came back and we live together now even expecting our first kid soon. Thanks to oshogumspelltemple@live.com. Well you can contact him oshogumspelltemple@live.com case you suffer any problem.

Nov 29, 2013
Ugh
by: Anonymous

I feel exactly the same way... If you got any insight let me know....

Jan 14, 2013
run
by: Anonymous

going through the same and i just cant help but connect with you and i think u shud leave him coz u deserve better..

Oct 26, 2012
Emotional Abuse
by: Anonymous

All of these stories all have a common thread - your man is emotionally abusing you. He is manipulating you, making you question your own judgement, withholding communication as a form of control and manipulation, and putting you in your "place" / punishing you when you do something wrong in his eyes.

I was with a man like this for 4 years and only realized recently that all of the crazy behavior, the fighting, me trying everything in my power to constantly accommodate and understand him and him only being constantly angry at me, feeling like I was never good enough, and always questioning my own judgment because none of his actions made sense... these are all forms of emotional abuse.

Please pick up a book called The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans, you will be blown away, and realize exactly what is happening to you. And LEAVE him. Now.

Even though it is incredibly hard or devastating in the moment... it will only get worse, and you will never be happy. He will suck years from you, suck your happiness from you. If you find the strength to leave, you can be happy and find someone who treats you with respect and true love you deserve.

Jul 29, 2012
Been there done that!
by: Anonymous

My boyfriend acted the same way, never a thank you or gesture of gratitude but I made the mistake of marrying him. It only gets worse once they think you're stuck. Now if I fail to do something to his standards or forget something he asked me to do he threatens to throw me out, take away the phone, you name it, he's threatened to sell it or take it away. He treats me like an employee that is legally bound by marriage to sleep with him.

Some people aren't worth giving it all to, some people don't know what they have and never will. The relationship is only 4 months old, run while you can before you lose yourself trying to make someone happy that doesn't want to be.

Jul 24, 2012
same situation
by: Anonymous

Wow! this sounds just like what I have been going through. Let me give you a brief. Been in a relationship from a year and a half. He is 6 1/2 years older than me. Knew him from 3 years and was the sweetest alpha male I had ever come across.

Girls dig him and hes always been the center of attraction and very helpful to others. Tall, Handsome, outgoing, smart, intelligent and charming.

Fell head over heals for him and he seemed to be mad about me for the first few months. Later on started the same exact things you have listed. Commanding, bossy, I am an architecture student and trust me when I say I am really smart and I do part-time modeling.

I have to manage all this, go to his place, cook,do his laundry, clean his room, put the food on in the plate and give it to his hand.

I couldn't cook one day cuz I was not well and he got upset and he didn't let me eat what he cooked. He wants everything his way and every time we fight he threatens to leave me.

I dont know what it is but I love him so much that in spite of him treatin me like shit I cant leave him. after every fight that happens every 2 days and after I have cried and got headache that lasts for 3 days he says he did that to teach me a lesson so I will remember not to do the same mistake again.

Nov 01, 2011
Not typical
by: Henrys Girl

He doesn't want a girlfriend dear. He wants someone to take care of his personal home while he's gone. Tell him to get a house keeper!!!!

This isn't typical, nor even for a trucker. When you start a new relationship you don't dive right in and start taking care of the other persons home, bills, pets, kids, whatever... Your not his wife and you don't have a life that is combined yet, hopefully you never will.

Get out now, he and his things are not you're responsibility, your new job and goals for your own life are, but in reading you're post I think you know this.

Men are like buses honey, one comes along every 5 minutes looks like you may have gotten on the wrong one this time, the good news...

Get off now and the right one will be along shortly.

Aug 09, 2011
Time To Wake Up
by: Anonymous

Four months!!! and he's telling all this. Why on earth would you ever let a man do this to you or anyone for matter? Everyone deserves to be loved and respected get out and find a man that appericates you now!

Jul 17, 2011
you are worth more
by: jackie

Those times when he is wonderful probably keep you in this relationship. But you are worth more than how he treats you. If he disrespects you and doesn't stop or try to stop or mocks you for wanting him to stop, it will only get worse.

It may be hard to break out of this relationship. But know that you deserve better. You are a woman and you deserve to be respected. It doesn't matter how dependent you may be on him for whatever. There is a way out. You are worth more.

Jul 06, 2011
i would ...
by: rob

first of all no one should be treated like that.
your just 4 months in. and he sounds controling. thats not good.hows he going to be in a year.??? i would hounestley call it quits.

Jun 30, 2011
Kick Him to the curb...
by: chu

Get rid of him...I agree with Lara... 4 months in a relationship, and he is doing this....He is a control freak, and he will get worse..

I know...I lived with one...Everyday gets worse and worse...And the minute you start to stand on your own and say NO....he will get angry...Don't let it come to this..

He is stressed like Lara is saying by his work and he is using you to be his molly maid and his DD..on weekends..
Honey... kick him to the curb..

All I can say is...Do not live for him....
LIVE FOR YOU...only you can make you happy..
Good Luck and Be Happy..And Smile :)

Jun 30, 2011
BF trucker
by: Lara

Drop him like a hot potato. He is a control freak and they only get worse over time. He is probably trying to control you because his job is controlling him.

Truckers are told where to be every minute of everyday by their DM's, dispatchers, and shipper/receivers. That is a lot of stress to deal with.

DO NOT HAVE KIDS WITH HIM!

It will not help the situation. Get out now before you are married to him or tied to him in any way. Live your life with someone who respects you and knows that you were not put on this earth to wait on them.

Good luck to you.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Life As A Trucker's Wife.