Lonely in California

by Tee Cee
(California )

I sit alone, sad and lonely.

I thought I could handle it. But being alone is excruciatingly hard. I'm doing everything I can to 'get a life' while he's gone. When he is home, he's just doing chores, preparing to leave, or catching up on his recorded TV shows.

We don't have we time. We talk on the phone but it's rushed because he's either sitting waiting to be off loaded, faxing paperwork etc. When he clocks out he has time to grab a meal and sleep. I want a companion for a spouse not a part time roommate!

I do a lot alone which makes me wonder why not just BE alone!? I love him. I'm sad without him. I always feel like a widow. I can't complain to him because I don't want to add to his stress.

So I sit. Alone. Sad. Lonely. Afraid of tripping up or finding a man with a 9 to 5 who is able to spend time with me. I don't want to be that girl! I just want MY man home.

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Jun 10, 2016
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I have no idea NEW
by: Anonymous

I know exactly what you are feeling. My heart is broken all the time. I didn't get married to be alone. I can't go be with my single friends because I am not single, but I certainly don't fit in with married couples either. I didn't sign up for this and I am not sure that I can do this too much longer. Being single sucked, but being a truckers wife is worse.

May 23, 2016
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Happiness is a choice NEW
by: Anonymous

I have been with my owner operator husband for 19 years and 2 children. Honestly it doesn't get any easier unless they get a job that allows them to be home on the weekends. He misses all our boys sporting events and many holidays. It is very hard to make future plans.
You just have to choose to be happy. Do what makes you happy. Just want to let you know your feelings are normal, it is hard. Good luck to you.

May 22, 2016
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get in NEW
by: Anonymous

Get in the truck with him.when I was over the road truck driver I had my dog I could have had a girlfriend as well it's only a small fee for the insurance but I would have liked to enjoyed seeing the country with a girlfriend

May 20, 2016
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How do you feel about joining him? NEW
by: Snarky and Hutch

While he is away go to trucking school, get your CDL, learn to drive and surprise him when he gets home with the option of teaming with you. If he doesn't like that idea I'd say find yourself a man who wants to be with you. My husband and I have been driving together for four years. If you don't have kids which you don't mention it works out. Yes its hard work and being together 24\7 has its own challenges to finding your own space but it is a solution to your current dillema. Also does his company allow riders? If you don't work you could then just go along and see what it's really like being on the road before you commit to getting your CDL.

May 20, 2016
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Really? NEW
by: Linda Boggs

My husband was a trucker before we got married with a company that allowed him to be home on the weekends. Then that company closed and he had to find another job.......he got one based out of Montana and we live in New York State. I knew before we were married that his dream was to be owner operator, just din't think it wold come so quick....like 5 months after we got married. The longest he has been out without being home is 3 months. Now that his rig and trailer is paid off he is home more. Tell your guy to give you more time on the phone. We talk on the phone everyday 2 times a day for at least 2 hours each call. I fill my time with work and family and me time. Spouses need to be clear on how demanding this life is for the trucker. Think about things that can empower you and do them.Are you truly willing to divorce him just because of this? We are devoted to each other as we really need to trust each other. Really think about this before you do it. Look for ways to satisfy yourself but still stay faithful, I feel after 10 years it's well worth it to stay with my husband. I knew what I was getting into when we got together in 2005. Good luck to you

May 19, 2016
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sorry for the hurt NEW
by: Anonymous

If you spent the money he makes then trust and believe it hard earned... but both sides of the coin have to be examined...

May 19, 2016
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Being a trucker's wife or GF... NEW
by: Anonymous

... is not an easy task, especially when children are involved.

My wife never liked it, then she "got used" to it, then we finally split after quite some time.

My daughter grew up while I was on the road, but when I was home, it was all about quality time with her... and today, at 33 years old, she still cherishes that.

My ex is not angry with me. She loved to come trucking with me, but that was hard on both of us. I was used to being alone, so making extra stops and driving like you would on a vacation was not part of the plan.

She had to adapt to my plan, which is load n go, dont stop til you get there, dont sleep til you pass out.

So many women looking for answers.

There really are no solid answers. Its like asking your child's teacher how to get a kid interested in homework and good grades. If they had the answer to that question, they could sell it for a million dollars I suppose.

There are a few things to consider:

1) he may also get tired of being gone all the time

2) he too is lonely on the road

3) he may want to try another line of work at some point. Its actually a smart thing to do..'just in case'

At least today you have cell phones, "face-time' and other ways to connect.

I didn't, and now it makes no difference.

You have to start a life of independence. Work at a job that interests you. Go back to school. ANything to keep you from obsessing on what you "think" you want.

The reason I say "think" you want is because in reality, if he truly were there all of the time... you might find yourselves arguing or getting in eachothers space too much.

It's kind of like retirement. You spend your whole working career thinking that you are looking forward to that day... and then when it comes... you find yourself paralyzed, depressed, steppin on toes and dying to get back to a place where you feel needed and useful.

I have tons of hobbies. I play guitar and have hundreds of videos up on Youtube. I speak multiple languages. I build models. I am heavy into the digital art world and design....

but... I still can't sit home for too long. I get sick. I stress out. I feel useless. I go the gym where I was once a trainer and nutritionist, but that road (job)calls at me constantly.

You should do all of the above for yourself.

Be independent rather than 'dependent' on someone else to satisfy your needs or desires.

That is the only advice I can give.. take it or leave it.

It's never going to be easy. It will always be a challenge.

Just don't cheat. If you want out, tell him and take care of it. Give him a choice.

Wives think their trucker husbands are out there on that big road with women throwing themselves at us.

Not so.

We are thinking about our wives at home and how we cant wait to get back.

You have no idea what it feel like when you are finally headed home.....

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