Liktoheartruth. when will the heart lead to someone who wants something real

This is a great response and oh so true. I almost dated a navy officer, but he showed me early enough thank goodness that he could be verbally, emotionally and possibly physically abusive.

He only let it slip because of how long we had been so called friends before we almost dated. So when he got upset with me about (I am still not sure, but it had to do with "I cut him of while he was speaking) and he began slamming the phone down in my ear, yelling at the top of his voice to me and taking apart my character...I ran.

I actually had a relationship with a real estate agent (top of his game), he never wanted to commit. I thought it was just me. Now it has been 10 years since we dated.

He's been in a relationship with another woman for 8 years. In all this times she has lived in another state. No marriage, no bringing their lives together even though they share a kid.

That situation would have NEVER worked for me. When I ask him about it, he just says, he has what works for him and he sees her when he sees her, but for him it is enough. To each his own, but that just isn't me.

Now I am dating a trucker. Am I worried? Yes! He says all the right things, but I've seen him 4 times in 8 months. He got out of training in August. He's regional for east coast, but he seems to still get sent all over.

He says he wants me to come ride with him. Hasn't happened yet and when we talk about it, I hear little effort from him to make it happen.

I already know that he is spending none of this year's holidays with me. Says he can't control his schedule or where he ends up. He hasn't been to see me in my home state. We haven't met each others families.

At a point and a certain age, you don't even lie to yourself about what your situation is or isn't. Despite what they say, it is all about what they do, but such men are everywhere.

I don't have time to blame his profession. I just wish my radar would land on someone who wants something real with me.

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Oct 25, 2011
when will the heart lead
by: hervy


Hate to see you going through this mess. Anon below has some great words of advice.

You seem to be very aware of the realities of your situation too. I think you just want some confirmation of your thoughts.

You have to do what you can to get clarity on his intentions. Give him a chance to act out what he claims he wants for the relationship.

Began all of this though first with asking him what he is missing. What would make him want to be home more often. How can you improve.

Sounds unfair since you are the one who seems more concern with how things are going south. However, if you haven't gone this route you really have no idea what his response will be.

Show him you desire to make it better on your end. Give him a little time to absorb and respond. If he doesn't then make a decision on what to do next.

Marriage counseling or a relationship coach may help with your progress. If he won't go, then just you go so that you stay on track with your own experiment at revive and resurrection of the relationship.

A coach or counselor will also have outside input with intimate knowledge of the situation when it's time for further choices

Best of luck,

Oct 23, 2011
reply to want something real
by: Anonymous

You can't live and compare people to whom you have met. Yes, it seems like you have met some men that had no intentions on commitment. I myself have had that in my life, and now I have a great man that I wouldn't trade for nothing! He is an otr driver that's mainly home once a month, but I go with him every now and then. I am currently studying to get my cdl so we can team. He is an owner operator so it won't be an issue. He chooses his own time to be home, puts in dates ahead of time and he takes holidays every year to be home with family. Your boyfriend could be playing you. He's not home, holidays not around, haven't met family, how long have you been with him? It may be time to give that up and get a man who does and says what he means and feels. They are out there! By the way how old are you? Well, good luck with this and hope you do the right thing, but remember to: good things come for those who wait !!!!

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