Life as a trucker's wife is Bittersweet when he's gone

by Stacey
(Bloomfield, MO)

First off, let me introduce myself.

My name is Stacey, I'm 32, a project coordinator for a fast paced nationwide appraisal company, mother to two beautiful little girls ages 3 and 1, step-mother to a gorgeous little girl age 6 and wife of an OTR trucker.

I like to say that his job makes our relationship "bittersweet". Mainly because when he's home too long we are at each other's throats because we're used to him only being home on the weekends, if that. The good, bad and the ugly; that's what I like to call it.

The Good: He can bring home more money doing what he does as opposed to working in a factory here at home (pretty much the only other jobs).

The Bad: I find that by the time the weekend rolls around I'm READY for him to be home. My family is extremely busy with work and church and everything else. His family (who lives next door) is busy with school and running a business, so we really do not have a lot of support. When he's gone, it's me and the girls.

My job requires at LEAST 40 hours a week, if not more. And GOD forbid if they're sick, I am the only one that can take them to the doctor. If they need emergency care, I have to get them there and then wait patiently for him to drive in from whatever state he's in and that's if he gets to get home at all.

These issues above lead to a lot of arguments and fights over me being too tired to "have any fun" on the weekends when he's home, or arguing when he's home b/c he doesn't get anything accomplished on our to-do list b/c he's ran hard all week and all he wants to sleep.

Can't say I blame him; however, I do not get to get off of work after working at least a 9-10 hour day and go home and rest. I have to pick up the kids, make dinner, feed them, play with them for a bit, give them baths, put them to bed, try to clean as much as my weary body will let me. By this time, it's almost midnight usually. I go to bed, get up at five and do it all over again. He may run hard, but he only has to be responsible for himself and that truck and watching out for idiots on the road.

The Ugly: Part I: Trust. It took me a long time to get where I needed to be on this one. Mostly because of our past issues; however, his job does NOT help. It actually took me 3 years lol. That's a long time of us putting up with each other's crazy trust issues. He has to trust that I'm at home doing what I say I'm doing and I have to trust that he's not entertaining anyone else.

The Ugly: Part II: It's difficult to plan ANYTHING. Everytime we make plans to hang out with friends, with each other, etc., something always happens and that load that was supposed to get him home fell through.

All in all: It's not too bad, but this life isn't for everyone. It takes a lot of will and determination and love. I could never ask him to do anything else because of the sparkle in his eyes he gets when he talks about his career.