Just the beginning

by Samantha
(Missouri)

Hi everyone! Well I'm new to this whole world and we havnt even started the hard part. I'm a truckers girlfriend, weve been together four mo.

He's always made a run here or there (hauling cattle) but his other job had to cut hours and he is going back OTR.

He left for orientation Sunday morning, 3.5 hours away. I'm doing OK with that as we still talk and I even got a surprise phone call yesterday! The part that sucks is my two kids (not his) adore him and constantly ask "when's he coming home?" when I tell them not for a few weeks they cry :(

And dealing with two upset toddlers and trying to pack a house to move is so not easy, I just wish he could come home if even for a night so I could get some sleep, so I'd have at least some energy to get things done.

I know he's doing what he needs to to support us (with this job I get to go back to school and get my degree!!!) and I'm thankful that as little as we've been together he is so invested in our makeshift family.

I love him to bits and will Keep the home fires burning for his return home but I know the lonely night, sick kids, and massively insane move won't make for an easy life, and that's just the first three weeks!!!

I know I'm new but I do have a word of advice for ladies like me; do whatever it takes to stay connected!!! I have come to realize in the short amount of time that even a simple "hi" makes me feel so much better about the distance between us. <3

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Sep 01, 2012
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Just the beginning NEW
by: Anonymous

Hi there, Just spent a few days with my man who came back early. Did yours ever make it back at all? How'd the party turn out? I hope you are doing fine with the move and everything.
Lolli

Aug 24, 2012
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Doubt it. NEW
by: Anonymous

He's still there. Super upset cuz his coming home woulda ment he would have been here for baby girls birthday.

Aug 24, 2012
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Just the beginning NEW
by: Anonymous

So sorry: ( That's a bummer. That's a big mess. Maybe they just made a mistake and he can be there soon.
LOLLI

Aug 24, 2012
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Please tell m this won't always happen??!! NEW
by: Anonymous

Everyone in his class that had the ability to get home and back was packed and ready to go home, some were actually leaving, they said now no one can go home :( glad I didn't tell the kids before he told me......movies with my oldest will help

Aug 24, 2012
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Just the beginning NEW
by: Anonymous

Enjoy your time together!

Aug 24, 2012
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Ahhhhhhh!!!!! NEW
by: Anonymous

He just called and he's coming home till Monday!!!!!!! So excited!! Can't wait to tell the kids!!! (he's on his way home now!!!!

Aug 24, 2012
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Exciting news, hard times to come, surviving the start :) NEW
by: Anonymous

I know he'll prolly stay long haul for at least a year, we plan on buying a house next year around this time and he wants to save as much as we can. After that he *hooefully* can get a local, even if he's gone during the week and just home weekends it'll be a blessing! And YAY!!!!!! I'm glad your hubs got his time home early!!!! That's so great!!!! Enjoy your time together!
Sammie

Aug 24, 2012
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JUST THE BEGINNING NEW
by: Anonymous

Hi, I'm sorry you're going through all this. I would recommend that you plan a certain time to talk, maybe at night before you go to bed. Make it a date. That way you don't have to wait around worrying, and he doesn't have to feel guilty about not be able to. Make it a set part of your routine. Make it a date!
I know it's hard with the kids, and it sounds like they are close. They don't understand, but try to make it positive. Try to find children books to read to them from the library for kids and traveling parents. I'll research if there's something out there for you. I know they don't always get your sacrifice. How I handle that is to let him know how my day went. Let him know the struggles without complaining. Eventually, he'll see that you are doing things on your own and that's not easy. Also, guys need to feel needed, and this will show both of you how you need each other. Don't be afraid to say, I have to get this fixed, or this needs painting, and I'm going to do this. I think he'll be very proud of you for doing things on your own, but it will also show him, wow she's sacrificing. It's such a flipent job, I just found out that they granted his time off a week early. So I wlll finally see him after almost 7 weeks. When he is here he is looking for local, just because for us it's not worth the extra money he'll make. He too missed all their birthdays, and sooooo much more, and you can't put any amount of money on that. Hopefully, he'll get a job locally when he gets back. It's always nice to dream. And this is "Just the beginning".......

Lolli

Aug 24, 2012
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Heart to heart NEW
by: Anonymous

We had a heart to heart last night, I told him that I missed being able to talk to him about things and get real answers, that the kids missed him and that we needed to get a routine ad stick to it. He said hell use this upcoming week (while I'm moving everything) to get a feel for what will work best but he's going to call the kids every night before bed! I hope that will help them and we will talk then too and he promised to at least text me every morning and I brought up the lack of telling me night (something he NEVER forgotten till about three days ago) and he hadn't even realized it. He text me this morning (6am) and I'm a chick who loves my sleep but I'll GLADLY forfeit a few hours so I can talk to him more :) being honest while trying to not make him feel bad about being gone was hard but worth it!!! And he's not out yet today so I'll get to talk to him during my babies first birthday party!!!(picture central!!!!)

Aug 24, 2012
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Just the beginning NEW
by: Anonymous

Hi, I'm sorry you are going through all that. I know it's hard with kids, and when they miss him. I sounds like they are close. What has helped me is that I would set up a time you can talk to him for sure, maybe after the kids are in bed. Make it a date! Make it a set time everyday. That way you aren't waiting around and worrying, and he doesn't have to feel guilty for getting too busy and not being able to call. I know sometimes they don't understand the sacrifice, and you don't want to cause anymore stress on him by telling him . How I usually handle that is when he asks how your day was, tell him everything you had to go through. All the decisions you have to make on your own. I'm sure once he sees that you are doing so much, and without him, he'll understand the sacrifice. He will eventually see all the things you have to go through. Also, guys like to feel needed so use this time to make important decisions together. And by the way, It's just the beginning!

Aug 24, 2012
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Just the beginning NEW
by: Anonymous

Hi, I'm sorry you are going through all that. I know it's hard with kids, and when they miss him. I sounds like they are close. What has helped me is that I would set up a time you can talk to him for sure, maybe after the kids are in bed. Make it a date! Make it a set time everyday. That way you aren't waiting around and worrying, and he doesn't have to feel guilty for getting too busy and not being able to call. I know sometimes they don't understand the sacrifice, and you don't want to cause anymore stress on him by telling him . How I usually handle that is when he asks how your day was, tell him everything you had to go through. All the decisions you have to make on your own. I'm sure once he sees that you are doing so much, and without him, he'll understand the sacrifice. He will eventually see all the things you have to go through. Also, guys like to feel needed so use this time to make important decisions together. And by the way, It's just the beginning!

Aug 24, 2012
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Just the beginning NEW
by: Anonymous

Hi, I'm sorry you are going through all that. I know it's hard with kids, and when they miss him. I sounds like they are close. What has helped me is that I would set up a time you can talk to him for sure, maybe after the kids are in bed. Make it a date! Make it a set time everyday. That way you aren't waiting around and worrying, and he doesn't have to feel guilty for getting too busy and not being able to call. I know sometimes they don't understand the sacrifice, and you don't want to cause anymore stress on him by telling him . How I usually handle that is when he asks how your day was, tell him everything you had to go through. All the decisions you have to make on your own. I'm sure once he sees that you are doing so much, and without him, he'll understand the sacrifice. He will eventually see all the things you have to go through. Also, guys like to feel needed so use this time to make important decisions together. And by the way, It's just the beginning!

Aug 24, 2012
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Rough night :( NEW
by: Anonymous

I miss him being able to text me back whenever, to be able to hear his voice, it's been almost a week since I've heard him pull up outside and my kids are so upset he hasn't been home, I have almost 3 and my baby is turning one on Monday...he's missing her birthday and she hasn't slept hardly at all for 4 days, all she does is cry "da da da da" which wakes up my oldest, who says "where is he? I need snuggles" I know I was going to get into this and I knew it was going to be hard. I have been fine until tonight, I text him and told him I missed being able to have a real conversation with him where his replies were more than "ok" and "yeah" (that is if I get one). I know he's busy and I know once he's out driving he won't be able to text/call me till he stops but it don't make this any easier knowing, and I'm scared, just scared, I'm moving to a town, by myself, with two kids and I don't know a single soul, don't know when I'll have a vehicle, and his lack of acknowledgement towards my fears does not help....I know we can do this if we can just remember BOTH of us are sacrificing things, I'm just not sure how to explain this all to him without him getting mad or feeling like the bad guy....any ideas??
Thanks for reading the meltdown, time for ice cream and a book *i just got a text, hopefully it's not just for him to say goodnight*

Aug 23, 2012
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:( NEW
by: Anonymous

Hes been he for 6 days :( he had to go to Springfield mo and I'm in Columbia :(
And long haul.

Aug 23, 2012
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JUST THE BEGINNING NEW
by: Anonymous

Well enjoy your last day together for a while. The time will go by fast with you moving and everything. Will he be long haul, regional, or local?

Aug 23, 2012
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JUST THE BEGINNING NEW
by: Anonymous

Well enjoy your last day together for a while. The time will go by fast with you moving and everything. Will he be long haul, regional, or local?

Aug 23, 2012
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:/ NEW
by: Anonymous

He finishes orientation today and leaves out tomorrow, the curses of letting your CDL expire :( and hell be gone 2/4 weeks for sure, the hopefully hell get to finally see the new house!! (and bring me his truck,it's our only car!) I'm glad you get to see him in a few day!! So exciting!!

Aug 23, 2012
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Just the beginning NEW
by: Anonymous

When do you get to see him again? My man has been gone 6 weeks, and I am only a few days from reuniting.

Aug 23, 2012
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:) NEW
by: Anonymous

Sounds great to me!

Aug 23, 2012
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Just the beginning NEW
by: Anonymous

Keep in touch if you'd like we can support each other.
Thanks,
Lolli

Aug 23, 2012
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Thanks!! NEW
by: Anonymous

Thanks! It's nice to know I'm not the only one who's in my situation. And yes we both had a talk about us keeping in touch and being supportive of what we both wanted to do in life.

Aug 23, 2012
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Just the beginning NEW
by: Anonymous

Hi, I too am a truckers girlfriend. I can totally understand your situation. I have three children, not his. He loves them very much. It's a big sacrifice, but anything worth while is hard work. Communication has to be a priority. Make a set time you can talk to each other every day. You each have responsibilities on and off the road. Don't think of your relationship as 50/50, I think a lot of people have the misconception. Think of giving 100%, and he needs to give 100%. That's going to look differently for each of you. Hopefully, he is willing to give 100% to the relationship and you can feel secure throughout this very trying time. Best of luck.
Lolli

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