Im married????

by christine
(nc.)

When my husband and i first started dating he drove a dump truck locally and that was fine he was home every night, which was great. He really wasn't making that much money so he started looking for another job.

I knew he had driven a truck in the past but he said he didn't want to do it anymore. When we first started dating i told him that if he was going to work out on the road then i couldn't date him that i am unable to live in that type of relationship.

He told me no that he was done with that. After looking for a job and not having any luck he took it upon his self to get a OTR trucking job with out talking to me about it and i feel that it was just forced on me, which really pisses me off.

I know i could have left him but i was hoping that i could learn to cope. I can not. I love my husband and glad he is my husband. He is a good husband and works hard in which i am very proud of.

But i'm not sure how long i can continue to live like this. I feel so angry with him because he knew up front before he took this job and that was the one thing that i could not work with, but he done it anyway.

I miss my husband.

I feel like i am still single i do every thing alone, eat, sleep, holidays. He seems like a stranger to me when he does come home maybe 6 to 8 days a month. I hate being a truckers wife but i love being his wife.

This job is splitting us apart and i don't want that to happen. I am a good wife i do not cheat and run the roads while he is gone. I always have the house clean and i take care of things in the house.

I make sure his cloths are clean and he has what he needs for the road trip,but i get mad every time he has to leave. I go to college full time after being out of school for 20yrs. I feel more alone now then i did when i was single..

Does any one have any advice to give me in helping me learn to cope with him being gone so much?

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Feb 27, 2012
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Happy Day NEW
by: christine

wooooohooo My Husband will no longer be a otr driver!!!!! He has gotten a different job! Thank my dear for loving me enough to try something new hope you will be happy.. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART!!!!! Thank you

Feb 22, 2012
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Possible opportunity for awsomeness! NEW
by: Anonymous

I agree with the post above. It may be "out of the box" but it could be the best decision of your life. If you were to go get your cdl, i know of teams making in the ballpark of 49,000 EACH.An you are young, no kids. nothing to REAlly tieing you down. (Online School if U Really cant wait.)
It could be an adventure and u would be out of this jam in a couple of years. I would love to have a situation like that! best of luck. I know youll do whats right for u.

Feb 09, 2012
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Response NEW
by: Anonymous

He is going to start part time classes next term. He doesn't want to drive truck once the girls start school, which is less than 2yrs from now. He loves to drive, but he loves being home too....so he plans to drive for now since it's the only job he could find and when he finishes school he will do something else. Yes my major allows me to go into a career that will provided for the family, so when I start working he will stay home with the kids & finish his degree, or just work part time or local (local just doesn't pay enough to support 4 people. Thanks for the comments & ideas, but we are already working on all that...we have talked about it a few times now.

Feb 09, 2012
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home NEW
by: Anonymous

You said you were going to school .Will you get a good paying job after graduation? Can you live on one salary? It might be possible to get him off the road and into a trade school where he can learn additional skills,welding,computer,etc. Also he can try to find regional driving jobs that allow more home time. Some of the larger trucking companies have regional routes. It can be difficult to get out of a truck,you just have to search every angle. Also online classes can be done on the road. You can be firm and supporting in you encouraging him to be serious about getting out,but don,t add stress in being to firm. Also a little trickery includes making him wish he was home more often....whatever that might be

Jan 29, 2012
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I understand NEW
by: Anonymous

When my husband & I got together it was the same way. I told him I couldn't be with someone who drove OTR. I didn't have it in me to cope with that. Now here I am married to an OTR driver. We have 2 toddler daughters & I'm a full time college student(online). This trip he is going to be gone 3wks & here I am alone. We moved to the mid-west to give our kids a better life, but our closest relative is 2hrs away & the rest are 8hrs away aside from the ones we left almost 18oo miles back on the west coast...so even more alone with no family & no friends. I do all the same things for my husband as you do & at times feel under-appreciated.

It's hard & at times depressing to live like this. I should have seen it coming since every man in his ancestral background has driven truck. It may not be easy for us as wives, but if you sit down & think about it, it isn't any easier on our husbands. They are more alone & more confined than we are. My husband does this to support our family & put me through college. So, no matter how hard it is I try to stay strong for him. When he is home he doesn't even get a break. He plays with the girls all day, spends time with me, helps with chores & cooking, runs errands with/ for me, ect. Don't get me wrong, he isn't perfect & we argue plenty...the job puts a strain on things that's for sure. But he has 2 little daddy's girls that he hates to leave & me who I know he loves dearly (one thing I don't question).

Your husband may have taken the job with out talking to you, but I'm sure he did that because he knew you would say know & he knew he wanted to be a good man & provide for his wife. If this was the only way he could do it, you bet he wasn't gonna think twice about it. I told my husband I didn't want him to take this job, but if he did I would be a good wife & support him. There wasn't any other work out there & we have little girls to take care of...so he did what he thought was best & that's to provide for his family no matter what it takes. I have pride in my husband because, I may hate what he does & him being gone, but I know he made a tough choice for the best interest of our family.

It doesn't always feel like a marriage when you're alone all the time, but try to think about how he feels. I'm sure he misses you too & I'm sure it's hard for him too & I'm sure he had the best of intentions when he made his choice. & as a good wife the best you can do is stand by his side & support him. If that's not what you want then you need to be honest with him. Good luck. Keep your head up...

Jan 14, 2012
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no passengers NEW
by: christine

I would love to go with him but his company doesn't allow passengers. Tonight reminded me why i dont like his job. He was suppose to come home last night but things changed and he wont be home til sun. I hate that i never can depend on the time or day.

Jan 14, 2012
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lonely NEW
by: Anonymous

Well times are hard and jobs are hard to come by. He is trying to be a good husband and give you a good wife. I have drove for over sixteen years. And my wife has always been there for me. Been married for thirty years. Go with him, you would enjoy it.

Jan 14, 2012
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coping with life NEW
by: Anonymous

why6 don't you get a CDL and team up with your Husban

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