I don't ever feel anything I do is appreciated.

by Laura
(Memphis, Tn)

It's extremely frustrating when you are left at home to work, take care of the kids, take care of the home, take care of the yard, run all the errands, grocery shop, pay all the bills and then be there at your husband's beck and call when he gets home.

Washing clothes, fulfilling sexual needs, Etc.. Etc. Etc. Not to mention when he's on the road he fusses (a nice word choice) constantly and criticize everyone and everything. It's toxic!

Then he comes home and displays the same bad attitude and hatred toward his family who has missed him greatly through the week but actually just cannot wait to he leaves again due to his critical and hateful attitude.

It sucks to put it nicely!

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Oct 29, 2015
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Oct 20, 2015
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Oct 16, 2015
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Oct 15, 2015
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bad attitudes, hurt spouses NEW
by: Steve McLean

I was a road rep for 40 years and though I didn't have a "toxic" relationship with my wife, it wasn't as good as it could be.

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Oct 13, 2015
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Stay strong but get strategic
by: Hervy

Laura, you seem to be hanging in there. You are right, it is toxic to dealing with a constant negative attitude.

The problem that we face most often is the people have no idea how negative their thinking is.

Different things works for different people. Here is one idea that is the easiest. Have a video recorder or audio recorder going on to capture his behavior.

When then things are good, have a conversation with him about his negativity. He will likely deny it and say you are the one being negative about him being negative.

I am assuming you will use patience, kind words and tactful approach to discuss this with the intent of helping him be more aware. If you do this in a complaining or victimhood way, it definitely won't work or help the situation.

The background of the conversation is that you are concerned with his health and well being because he seems constantly stressed.

He ask why do you say that. That is when you elaborate about his negative attitude. Then you pull out the tape/audio.

Another alternative is to skip the audio/video.

Instead, buy him a book or audio to play while driving to listen to. Tell him the audio is an alternative to the CB and radio. It is to help him stay awake, deal better with 4wheelers, dispatchers, etc. (or whatever else he complains about, lol).

The audio you should get should be one about mindfulness, or developing a positive attitude. Do a search for one on amazon.

If you don't know, Taking Trucking To The Next level is one that I have created which helps but touches on many other things as well. (But relates all things back to the way that we think) But there are many audios available and mine is actually available for free if you search this site for taking trucking to the next level. You can listen and record it directly from youtube and then save it on cd. (it's also available on amazon)

If he is actually open to absorbing information about intentionally improving the relationship, you can also get audio books, cd, mp3, that help improve relationships.

search for Dr. Laura Schlesinger and read her reviews. Lots of people don't like her but many do and I love her advice. I agree with most of her opinions...

...and don't believe the hype about her being a racist. People took her comments and the phone call out of context. I listened to her for years while on the road...Good advice for men and women.

Some of her books are...
The proper care and feeding of husbands
The proper care and feeding of marriages

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