how to deal with a separation after 31 years

Hubby became an OTR trucker two months ago. Now he doesn't want to be with me anymore. He admited he hasn't been happy for 28 years but did trucking bring this on?

He says he is lonely on the road but got so used to it he likes being alone now. He also does not want a divorce and is refusing counseling. What can I do?

Comments for how to deal with a separation after 31 years

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Apr 29, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Seperation
by: Hevy

Wow, that's sad to hear. Sorry your going through such a painful and stressful situation.

I can't even imagine how bad it must feel to be facing this dilemma.

I agree with Terri, you really need to get some counseling and with all the complexities I would say Christian counseling by recommendation in your community. You don't want someone with simply a feminist attitude toward life who steers you to divorce and independence without consider everything you have to say about the details.

The counselor should be trying to find out what happened before the current situation before suggesting definite next course of action. Especially if your desires is to first try to salvage.

Any case good counsel will do you good because such a daunting situation can throw your rational thinking off.

As far as him getting used to being alone on the road. I don't know how it got like that since you and him were married. But, I know exactly what he means. I know if I met someone right I would have to be very intentional in keeping her in the loop because I have gotten so used to being single and alone on the road. So that specific thing is not impossible just weird to be married and end up like that.

Trucking did not bring this on. It makes it easier to exist because you are away from each other. But yall must of had some type of problems, or he did before trucking. If fact it might be the reason trucking came into the picture.

Counseling.

Best Wishes,
Hervy

Apr 27, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
how to deal with a separation after 31 years
by: Anonymous

Thank you will do.

Apr 27, 2011
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
How to deal with separation
by: Terri

First have a good cry, if this is what he wants then let him. Second start taking care of you, talk to an attorney to help you, this is so you can protect yourself financially. Get some counciling for you, this is going to be a hard and painful time, the therapy will help you get through. Apply for all the social services that you can, this will help as well.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Marriage advice from truckers.