How do I start trusting my Husband again after continously finding pictures of naked women on my Husbands phone?

by S.
(MN)

My husband and I have been married for a year and a half. Hes an otr trucker. Hes an over the road trucker for 8 months now. He has been caught contacting women on craigslist sending and receiving pictures and very explicit sexual content.


His defense was he thought about them but wasn't going to do anything with them. He says it keeps a man going. Last month while he was asleep I looked at his phone that went off. A women had sext him.

He apologized as he has done before and promises not to do it again. Is there anyway to get him interested in just me? I love him.

Ive moved out of state with him almost a year ago leaving my family, children whom are in their later teens and a hometown I was in for 40yrs.

Now I'm alone all the time he is home one day every 3 weeks or so. No sexual talk or interest in me while hes home or when hes in the road like it used to be his first 5 months he started otr truckin.

Now the past 4 months have gone to little or no talk or interest in me. How do I get this back or is it time to give up?

Please help how do I interest him again and how do I stop his interest in other women.

Ive never had this problem our first three years of our relationship.

Comments for How do I start trusting my Husband again after continously finding pictures of naked women on my Husbands phone?

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Sep 09, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Thank you
by: Anonymous

To all you anonymous people who have given me advise, explained whats going on that I already knew but yes didnt wanna see or admit. Ya'll have a good day and thanks again for your help. :)
Sep 09, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		I think you may be a bit mixed up
by: Anonymous

Playing games, cheating on wives, lying, looking for others for some attention they cant get at home, gambling, addictions etc.....are not learned from being on any particular job.

These are called behavioral problems they come from within and are caused by some underlying issues(s), he learned this along time ago... he was just good at keeping it from you before...now he can care less if you know or not, it's obvious you cant see it because you are blinded by what you call love..

You will go to any lengths to make sure it works out even if you are not the cause of it you really think it is your fault.... and this is called co-dependency....you will need counseling for your problem.....he will need a whole lot of therapy for his... as sometimes they do not believe there is anything wrong with what they are doing...they simply begin to believe their own lies as the truth...this is pathological... once he believes it is okay to behave this way he will never seek help.... he will continue to repeat this behavior even if he gets a job right next to you at your job so you can watch his every move.....never ending cycle of abuse is what it is called....hope you get the help you need.
Sep 08, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		my response:
by: Anonymous

His kids and mine live in diff. States. Mine didnt wanna move here until they finish school where theyve grown up. One grad. This year my other child grads next.
Sep 08, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		my response:
by: Anonymous

Our kids we have in the summer together all summer and they are always on f.b. with ea other. I cant get fat. I'm the heaviest right now that i've ever been not pregnant and I cant get preg. Ever again. Ive gained 26 lbs this year. High metabolism runs in my family.

I was asking advise to truckers wives or truckers if there is something I can do to make him stop wanting other women on the road. Not to explain how much I'm a fool in love I am with an attractive man who draws attention easily to other women.

I guess I got my answer hes not going to stop its to easy too play with others when your not home. My Dad was a local trucker for 38 yrs My husband wasn't trucking when I met and married him he had an office management position. Truckin has changed him.
Sep 08, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		you must do what he wants then
by: Anonymous

you ask how can you keep him interested, and you answered your own question, he wants a fat woman, and you refuse to give that to him, so here is your answer get fat and then you wont have any reason to be heartbroken, then you can keep on answering your own questions, then you wont have to ask other people for answers you already have.
Sep 08, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		yes you are right
by: Anonymous

cut your losses,

and how can your kids and his kids get a long so well when you stated you left them behind somewhere else?? you are not making any sense?
Sep 08, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		another divorce... why cant he just stop wanting someone else. what the heck am I doing wrong
by: Anonymous

Having a very good job here and us buying a house six months ago and no money for the move back to no job, no place to live has stopped me. The biggest thing thats stopped me is my love for this man. I want him to want me.

All his past relationships have been with large womenp. Well Im not. Im a skinny red head. Yes I do think hes gotten controlling he wasnt like this before. Why does marriage change everything?

He loves looking and talking to big women its something I cant and wont give him. Why cant I get his attention? I just have to find a way to save money and cut my losses if he cant stop wanting others. Ive been married cpl times already my exs wanted other women too.

I waited 10 yrs to try marriage again I thought I was choosing the right mate. I just cant get marriage right. Im trying to not have another failed marriage. My kids and his kids get along great. My kids and my Dad really love him.

I wish I wasnt madly in love. Im heart broken!
Sep 08, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		are you kidding me?
by: Anonymous

end it, walk away. Where is your dignity and common sense?
Sep 08, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		Only you can answer that question
by: Anonymous

It,s pretty ironic how things happen, you leave your family and friends of forty years, now he is trying his best to leave you? It sounds like this guy might be a a control freak? He has you leave your family behind so you have no one to contact in case of emergency etc... he has you right where he wants you and now the game is over there is nothing left for him to do since he already got you to do what he set out and wanted to do, he is bored now and probably is out looking for another person to play this cruel game with.

If you are here looking for ways to forgive him, I say there is something wrong with that picture. If that's all you want is to forgive him that's easy, just pretend it is not happening, look the other way, so then you both will be playing the same game??

I don't know why you would be searching for ways to forgive someone who continues to emotionally abuse you by leaving sex texts, pictures etc. around where you can easily see them? and then apologizes and does it again?? Does that even make sense?? it doesn't to me.

Well I know one thing you can do, pack ur bags and hit the road. You must start thinking that you are better than all this non-sense!
Sep 08, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		leave
by: Anonymous

leave why would you even consider anything else?
srsly? and your asking how to get him to consider you again? whatever you wont take this good adice either. good luck

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