Boyfriend just started OTR, I'm terrified of a crash

by Ash
(San Diego)

I'm completely new at this so please pardon my use of any terminology or lack of understanding. My live in boyfriend recently started over the road driving and all though we talked about the pros and cons, I still have overwhelming fears of him getting into a crash.

He often says I'm irrational or that accidents that involve semi's its usually the other car in worse shape. I trust him completely and do not worry about our relationship ending or cheating. We have been long distance before and have a strong relationship but I can not get over this constant sense of worry.

Anyone have any advice on how to handle this? Does the feeling ever go away? I'm a very cautious, grandma style driver who never drives on mountains...which does not help AT ALL with my nerves!

Lol I don't want him to be doing this and I'm fully able to support our family until he gets a local job but he says he needs to do this to put in his time to be able to get the job he actually wants.

Thanks in advice to any comments! :)

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Jul 09, 2013
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The good and the bad NEW
by: Ash

Thanks to the nice and encouraging comments :) the nerves have calmed quite a bit knowing what a great trainer he has and that he has us to come home too ;)
We have been able to see each other because we live relatively close(2 hour drive for me) to his main terminal. It's definitely not easy but not nearly as bad as I expected!
And as far the the person calling me dependent..oh there is just so much I can say. I will keep it short and sweet so you can understand.. I do not put my fears or nerves onto him. I have mentioned it twice and the only time we talk about it his when he brings it up because I DONT want to make him worry. Second of all before him I was a single parent that fully supported myself and while he is gone I am still that same person. You seem like a person who is unhappy with themself so in turn likes to put others down and for that I feel sorry for you.

Jul 03, 2013
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just not nice NEW
by: Anonymous

To the person who made the comment about being dependent! You are an ass! You could have encouraged her instead of tearing her down! Its hard to be the SO of a OTR driver! You miss them more then words can say! And yes you worry!! But like one of the other posts said, they are taught to be defensive drivers. And the reports we here of the semi accidents.... well if you ask me its a few drivers compared to what is out there! And the media likes to always pick on the driver! If you ever watched the way people drive around semis you would see its the stupid cars that cause the problems!!! Odds are he will be fine!!

Jul 03, 2013
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just not nice NEW
by: Anonymous

To the person who made the comment about being dependent! You are an ass! You could have encouraged her instead of tearing her down! Its hard to be the SO of a OTR driver! You miss them more then words can say! And yes you worry!! But like one of the other posts said, they are taught to be defensive drivers. And the reports we here of the semi accidents.... well if you ask me its a few drivers compared to what is out there! And the media likes to always pick on the driver! If you ever watched the way people drive around semis you would see its the stupid cars that cause the problems!!! Odds are he will be fine!!

Jul 02, 2013
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That was a raw comment !!! NEW
by: Anonymous

to the person who wrote the last posting...if you knew how to read you would of noticed the girl stated she is able to "PAY" for everything until "he" finds local work!!! How the hell is that being totally dependent??? you lame ass!!!!

Jul 02, 2013
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a few points YOU should consider NEW
by: Anonymous

Depending on his training he should be fine, crashes are possible but good training should mitigate this possibility.

What you should do is.

DO NOT GIVE HIM A REASON TO BE MORE CONCERNED ABOUT YOU THEN HIS JOB.

worrying about you will not help him to stay safe on the road.

besides in a year after he is gone 95% of the time you will either be sick of it as you sound like a total dependent personality.

You will cry every night and eventually will turn cold and blame him for your pain.

have a nice day....

Jul 02, 2013
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he is right NEW
by: Anonymous

it is true he needs to put in his time at least a year....sometimes more

Jul 01, 2013
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paying dues NEW
by: Hervy

Ash your boyfriend is right about having to get that year or so in over the road in most cases in order to get a better (local in some cases depends on driver's preference) truck driving job.

As far as being worried about an accident. Keep in mind we spend most of our worrying time in life worrying about something that never happens. That's a lot of wasted time. Some people even become depressed because of it!

Consider the big picture...truck drivers are trained to be defensive drivers so they have increased awareness about what is going on and are therefor some of the safest drivers on the road.

Most accidents involving trucks and cars are cause by the driver of the car and of course the driver of the car is likely to suffer the most from it more often. http://www.fhwa.dot.gov/publications/research/safety/humanfac/04085/index.cfm

Also, keep in mind you might see a lot of stories about the accidents involving trucks. This might alter your perception and cause you to be overly sensitive to it happening. You might think it is more likely than it really is.

If you can throw a number of the accidents that you remember seeing, hearing, reading about...compare it to the reality that there are over 3 millions drivers out there. The odds are in his favor.

That being said, is driving a truck dangerous? Of course. Accidents happen. However, there are a lot of other things in life that we all could allow ourselves to worry about which are much more likely to occur. We just don't.

You have to tell yourself repeatedly that its not good to become depressed about what COULD happen. If you will make a promise to yourself to switch your thoughts every time you catch yourself, it will eventually fade.

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