Being married to a trucker

by Nikki White
(Atlanta, Georgia)

People don't have a clue about being a wife of a trucker. They look at you like you got it made. "As if!" Being a trucker's wife is a hard job. Being a trucker's wife and a mother on top of that is even harder.

Not only do the wife have to multi-task, housework, laundry, run errands, pay the bills, when and if she receives a check from her husband. But, she also has the task of caring for the needs of their children school work, cooking, after school activities. In if she has an outside job Lord help her.

A trucker wife has to manage and balance the income while her husband is away. She has to do the oil changes on the cars, any repairs that need to be meet, and let's not forget about that forest that grows in the front yard yes, "mow the lawn."

She has to be a mom and dad to the children, along with running her husband errands. A trucker wife has to make sure things run as smooth as possible while her better half is on the road.

A trucker's wife dream of a fairy tale marriage was buried when that eighteen wheel giant pulled up to her front doorstep. Now she has to deal with the love of her life being gone 75% of the time, while she's home alone taking care of the fort.

She has to deal with the public in their opinion that do not have a clue, nor understand what our way of life is all about. She constantly has to defend her husbands profession and the choices that they both make for their family, each and everyday of her life.

She has to deal with being alone and having to protect her family and keep everything secure so her self and her kids will not be harmed if anyone tries to intrude into their space.

A trucker's wife has to deal with her parents and In-laws with their comments and opinions. She has to sit back in smile at the family gatherings and on the holidays when her husband is unable to be home enjoying a nice birthday or Thanksgiving holiday. She has to hold her head high and sacrifice celebrating her wedding anniversary and other special occasions on another day of the year.

When her husband comes home she has to put her life on hold so she can enjoy and relax for the 1-2 days her husband is home. Along with satisfying his needs, washing extra loads of clothes and bedding and put up with his some time grouchiness from being tired and not wanting to go out or visit family or events with her. She has to listen to him bitch about the conditions out there on the road and with the shippers, brokers, and customers. She has to be the support system he needs to release his frustration and pain when the time calls for it. She has to listen to him grip about money, how expensive things are on the road, asking can she cut back on something to make it better for this or that reasons. Like her budget isn't already tight enough.

She has to have trust and faith in her mate, not to accuse him of cheating. A trucker's wife life isn't an easy one. It's a demanding one who has to be independent, strong willed, patient, very tolerant, and understanding. If you really care for your husband you will have no problem with the sacrifices and changes you will have to deal with in the trucking industry.

With trust and communication you will be able to deal with the daily trails and tribulations of the trucking industry. Your marriage will make it!


To learn more about me and my life as a Trucker's Wife visit http://www.lonerwife.blogspot.com/

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Jun 22, 2017
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Apr 26, 2017
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Girlfriend of a Truck driver NEW
by: Anonymous

I have been with my boyfriend for 17 years, and all 17 he has been driving. I truly understand what you are dealing with. We have kids from different relationships. They are grown now and I was hoping that he would slow down more now. But nope didn't happen. I dont mind it sometimes but i just feel that its our time now. Also it ticks me off so much that some of these companies dont have riders policies. I think its really crazy for an O/O who wants to take someone on a trip with them. They want them to be A1 employees but they dont let them have the freedom to kill the loneliness on long trips. So yes I understand how you as well as other trucker wives/girlfriends feel.

Apr 26, 2017
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Trucker's Wife For More Than 25 Years Now NEW
by: Anonymous

My hubby has been a trucker for more than 25 years now and has logged more than 3 million verifiable miles. We raised 3 kids that are all grown and gone now after having put them all through college. The trucking life has been good to us with regard to financial success. Yes Nikki, I understand about holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. In fact we were just talking about that subject recently trying to remember if it was only one or two anniversaries that we had spent together since we married nearly 30 years ago. The life of a trucker and his/her family is not meant for everyone, for sure. We have gotten so used to it that we now joke about having to get to know each other all over again if he should ever retire and stop driving. Honestly, that thought scares me. I have become so used to taking care of things on my own that when he is ever home for more than a couple days at a time, he gets on my nerves and seems to be in the way...lol. But he feels the same way...kind of out of place with nothing to do. It seems that even the most important things in life we have had to discuss and take care of over the phone, with texts and with emails. When we refinanced our home a few years ago we had to have a notary meet my hubby at a truck stop to get his signature on the ton of paperwork included with contract. What a pain. I cannot remember the last time we spent either of our birthdays together and we are both so used to sleeping alone, him in his truck and me here in our bed at home, that we have a hard time sleeping together when he is home. My friends and family don't understand that when my hubby is due home, the rest of the world and everything in it has to take a back seat to his arrival. Sometimes we only have a few hours to go over important issues such as getting our taxes signed and done, getting all his laundry washed, dried and put back in his truck, going through all his paperwork he turns into me, restocking his groceries in his truck, having a good home cooked meal hot on the table (even if it is 3a when he pulls up out front), making sure the house is clean, checkbooks are balanced and about a million other things are done prior to him getting here. But that is the life of a trucker's wife. You either fit into the lifestyle or you let it ruin a good marriage. Its not for everyone, that's for sure. Fortunately we have weathered the years very well as I think he will be in the business till he retires. (He is an owner/operator but has spent many of his driving years as a company driver too.) And there's damn good money in it if you stick with it.

Apr 20, 2017
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Trucker Life NEW
by: ginny

My name is Ginny and I am going to marry a Trucker, I hope I am doing the right thing. Seems like it a long lonely life.

Feb 13, 2017
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Dec 14, 2016
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otr NEW
by: monte

it all depends on who he or she drives for. theres a lot of companies out there where you can be home at least 2-3 days a week. Is this his first year? on that first year you have to build up the miles along with the experience and that can be tough. most companies that offer local, dedicated, regional runs where your home 2-5 days a week require 9 months to a year of driving experience before they will hire you. so all I'm saying is if this is his first year driving be patient]]] time will fly by. our first year was similar to your experience but now going on year 2 I'm home every week and were all happy...

Dec 01, 2016
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God Bless NEW
by: Gone Again

You are put in a tough place, but tough people last. Army wife, Navy wife, it goes on and on. But it's you who prays countless hours all day and night for that commitment you made and once again. . . This too shall pass. When you love HIM, you got to love your man. I loved the article. Thank you Sister Soldier, press on.

Nov 20, 2016
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Glad to know I'm not alone! NEW
by: Momof3

Wow I'm SO glad I found your article. It's midnight Saturday night and my 3 kids (8, 5, 9 months) are in bed, I'm alone as usual while my husband catches up on sleep with the one night he gets off. We've been together 9 years, I'm 27 he's 34 and owns a large truck company. He started driving truck 2 years into our relationship and started his own company a year after that. I thought things would slow down considering his business has grown so much, he has great employees and makes great money. The first few years were hard getting the business going I helped him so much, I'm the one that got all the accounts and he did all the driving along with 2 great friends he hired. He doesn't do long distance trips anymore (thank God) but he still works around 90 hours a week, his shifts are 12am-4pm, including Friday and Sunday nights so not only do I sleep alone, housework, cooking, homework, social events I do it all alone with my 3 kids. I keep busy and appreciate the big beautiful home we built, my new SUV and being able to give my kids everything bc we literally built this life for ourselves but at times when the dust settles, I realize how lonely I am. He's a great provider and I'm grateful for the hard worker he is, but when your family is suffering, something is wrong. I've talked to him about it, told him he needs to delegate and there's a reason he has employees, I'm now thinking he's a workaholic bc he doesn't NEED to be working this much, he chooses to. My kids need their dad, I need my husband, I need him emotionally and I could really use help with everything that lands on my shoulders! Sorry for my rant.. I just needed to vent and I found comfort in your words. Thank you

Nov 16, 2016
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Truly amazing woman you are much props and high regard in respect NEW
by: Anonymous

Wow your a amazing woman I must say you do all that shit to keep your marriage in tact.then when your man comes home tell him to shut the fuck up and cater too the queen yea that sounds good actually.

Nov 12, 2016
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Sep 29, 2016
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Sep 18, 2016
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A big sacrafice NEW
by: Anonymous

I am so glad not to be alone. I love my husband. He was truckdriving over the road before we got married. I knew it would be hard tasting him away from what he loved so I learned to deal. We've been married for ten years now. I trust God and I trusted that he was doing right while away. He's gone mostly the whole year and the kids and I may only see him 30 days out of a whole year. He cheated on me and I wanted to end it but he doesn't want to. Now I'm having a hard time with trust. I've been a faithful living wife the whole time and finding that out was disappointing because I'm missing my husband because of the distance. It is a big sacrafice that people don't understand. It's a lot of work and takes special women for this job.

Aug 18, 2016
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Yes i feel too.. NEW
by: Lynn

U r so right!! People have no idea .but now after 21+yrs of marriage..it can be hard..this will b 5th move by my self..but hubby is a good man wrks hard & takes good care of me..t hink maybe he over compensates giving me stuff..when all i really want is him..i could get o on but too tired..so will write more tomarrow..👾 .

Aug 15, 2016
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WIFEVOF TRUCKER W/TODDLERS NEW
by: E.E.H

My husband is also a cross country Truck driver. About 3 years now. Our 3 children are under 5 and he missed the birth of the youngest. When he first started I tild jim he abs had to quit. I was mom, dad, mechanic, doctor etc lol. And it seemed as if everytime he left something drastic woyld happen.I know someobe else out there is goung through the same thing. Im telling u now. GET A HOBBY. Because bitchibg atvthem only stresses them out and its not gonna change. Ive accepted the fact that hubby has to work, and i cant get paid if he doesent get paid. I was depressed the first 6bmonths. After that i got a hobby. Now when he comes home after a couple days Im readyvfor him to go. Because Im so independent and its like living alone with our children so i like to be alone. But it gets better. Only with TIME. Its rough in the beginning. They have a tough job too. And they want to be home just as much as u want them to be. Now my husband gets awarded at work for best employee and raises and comended for being such a hard worker. Btw we have 3 boys . 1, 2 and 4. Its rough but u have to stay busy. Now we laugh because a month can go by and it seems like a week or two only. With time it gets better. Just stick by your man or woman.

Aug 12, 2016
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Peace that surpasses all understanding NEW
by: Anonymous

I have been a trucker's wife for 19 years. The industry has taken a total u-turn. Along with dealing with the financial roller coaster, as a wife of a trucker, we must deal with those who think truckers are making enormous incomes. Transportation industries are "lining" their pockets. Restaurants are focused on their pockets, parking is difficult to locate, the food tastes horrible, and showers are expensive.
Some brokers are liars. They cancel loads to get a lower bid from other drivers.
A trucker's wife must trust her husband and vice versa. It is not love to accuse each other of unfaithfulness. A trucker's wife must be patient, kind, understanding, unselfish, helpful, and more. He does not need to hear that the children are disobedient, deal with it yourselves. He is tired, feeling down trodden, and unappreciated. Lift him up, thabk him for sacrificing himself for the family. He is a truck driver because he wants to provide for you. Wives, show appreciation to him. Stand up for him when others do not understand. By the way, you, he and your children are a family NOT the in-laws. There is no explanation needed to them.
At the end of the day, I love my husband and dealing with the positives and negatives of trucking has made us closer to each other and to our Father in Heaven through Jesus Christ. It is He who gives peace that surpasses all understanding.

Mar 15, 2016
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I'm a newbie NEW
by: Jae

This is my husband 1st year, but he's signed with a company for 2years over the road driving. Yes, it has been a lil hard especially with the children. I'm praying for my mind to remain strong, I must admit some of these stories are crazy scary.

Mar 06, 2016
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TalkCDL The Trucker Show! NEW
by: Anonymous

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Sep 03, 2014
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its a choice NEW
by: Anonymous

It's a choice to be a truckers wife. But from an ATL girl who knows first hand, most are cheating, and half the time have a girl riding with them while the wife is at home saving the day.

Most companies give vacation and time home so I can't see why one wouldn't be home on holidays. I know the roads are rough. I've seen how hard it is out there for truckers. That's why I can't blame them fully for the wrong they do, they get lonely.

But just like being a single mom, truckers wives have to handle a lot. The only difference is trucker wives chose that life. Just like any other career.

Jun 04, 2014
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love it!!!! NEW
by: Anonymous

Amen I agree with everything you said.

Jun 04, 2014
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love it!!!! NEW
by: Anonymous

Amen I agree with everything you said.

Oct 29, 2013
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YES NEW
by: Jenifer

You nailed it girl! I live in Cartersville, GA and would love to hook up with other truckers wives and maybe we can be each others support and help one another hold the fort down, watch out for one another, keep that grass cut, etc. etc.

Oct 29, 2013
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YES NEW
by: Jenifer

You nailed it girl! I live in Cartersville, GA and would love to hook up with other truckers wives and maybe we can be each others support and help one another hold the fort down, watch out for one another, keep that grass cut, etc. etc.

Mar 01, 2012
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support NEW
by: Anonymous

I want to thank Nikki White for her informative and possitive letter about how to make it as a truckers wife.

Very Nice! Thanks for the support and encouragement. I appreciate it!

Nadynne Suderman

Mar 01, 2012
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support NEW
by: Anonymous

I want to thank Nikki White for her informative and possitive letter about how to make it as a truckers wife.

Very Nice! Thanks for the support and encouragement. I appreciate it!

Nadynne Suderman

Feb 07, 2012
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ill help out NEW
by: Anonymous

well it must behard but if u really need some latenightcnit chats cyber sex .,which aint cheating,,just having a bit of fun when your lonely well i have a facebook..look me up..some cyber fun wont hurt ..well search 4 LBERT CEBREROS AND ADD --U WONT BE SORRY --=>

Mar 19, 2010
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Almost complete, a little more to add. Need some more advice...
by: Pregant Trucker's Wife

I could not have worded it better myself. It is re-assuring to read that others feel the exact same and deal with the exact same issues that I am feeling and dealing with my my husband being over the road.

As always, to make it worse. As proud as we are internally about ourselves and our husbands to be able to manage and live with such a hard life decision, the general public seem to all have such a bad view on OTR truckers. They have this stigma against them as if they are all old dirty over weight perverted disgusting men. As WE know, that is not all true!

Along with having to deal with all of the extras you mentioned when he IS home, you did forget one thing. Not that it is hard enough to only have him home a couple days here and there but you also have to put your selfishness aside and share him with family and friends.

My husband and I dated for over 8 years before we married. He was not a truck driver then, but had his own tile and floor covering business. As the economy diminished, so did the construction and there fore so did the business. My husband took my father and cousins advice (as they are truck drivers too) and began his life on the road. At this point, we had only been married for a little less than 4 months. About a month after our 1 year anniversary we got great news, we found out we were expecting our first child! As great as this gift is, it did bring on a whole new spectrum of complications. Family is VERY important to us. This really hurts him to know he will most likely miss most of the milestones in my pregnancy and in out child's life. I am not 4 months pregnant, and I scheduled my ultrasound 6 1/2 weeks ahead of time and on a Monday knowing he is usually home on Mondays to insure he would be present. A couple hours ago we just found out he has to take an extra run and there is a 50/50 chance he will make it. The appointment is now only about a week away. If he is able to make it he will have been up all night driving before the appointment. This news was devastating to us both and I need to know how to deal.... It also brought on more things that I had not though of before like...what are the chances of him actually be able to be home to be with me as we welcome our little one into the world!? Please help as I am at a lost on how to deal with this...

Jan 29, 2010
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Truckers wife chat
by: Anonymous

http://www.lifeasatrucker.com/truckers-wives-forums-and-truckers-wives-chat.html

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Jan 29, 2010
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Join us in Trucker wives chat
by: Anonymous

we know how you feel. You said it very well. There is also a Facebook goup come so you cna feel supported and encouraged. My name is Angie, I have been a driver's wife for 22 yrs.

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