Another unhappy wife....

by Pamela
(Wisconsin)

I was reading all of your stories and was laughing, probably the onset of a mental break-down.

After almost three years now, I've figured out that all I'd really like in life, at this point, is a conversation with my husband that has nothing to do with trucks, trucking, loads, traffic, maps and directions, or anything else having to do with why he's always gone.

It started out being something he knew how to do from his early 20's. After we moved to Wisconsin and construction became a luxury, because of the poor economy, he decided to go back to driving.

I hated the idea then and almost three years later I still hate the idea. I suppose I already knew there were a lot of people out there who feel the same as I do.

I came looking for someone to relate tonight because I just got off of the phone with him and I'm more upset than usual. Maybe it all comes down to trust...well it seems I don't have any right now.

He was talking about the road conditions and then how good the sandwich I made for his cooler was and then he talked about his boss and some of the guys who work at the same place as him and then he mentioned this woman who needed a ride, so he picked her up in southern Wisconsin and dropped her in Chicago. He acted like it wasn't a big deal.

I understand if another driver needs to go somewhere and you give him a lift, but to pick up a young lady with a puppy (his words)well, I just think that's wrong. Then he said she was a little mentally off. But he didn't say that until he knew I was upset. So, is it my imagination?

I don't know but I hate trucking worse now than I did when I woke up alone this morning.

So, why did he even tell me??

Thanks for letting me vent.

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Jun 04, 2012
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omg NEW
by: Dixie

My hubby and I had this conversation before he began driving. I am an old school hardcore southern B and I won't stand for unknown women being alone in a bedroom on wheels! He knows the severity of my jealousness and if he gets good and well ready to have another woman than all he has to do is say so and he can pick his stuff up out of the front yard! I'm not against good deeds but, that is not my idea of a good deed!

Jun 04, 2012
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omg NEW
by: Dixie

My hubby and I had this conversation before he began driving. I am an old school hardcore southern B and I won't stand for unknown women being alone in a bedroom on wheels! He knows the severity of my jealousness and if he gets good and well ready to have another woman than all he has to do is say so and he can pick his stuff up out of the front yard! I'm not against good deeds but, that is not my idea of a good deed!

Apr 11, 2012
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Worry about the stuff he doesn't tell you, not the stuff he does NEW
by: Anonymous

By telling you, it showed that he didn't have any bad intentions. If my man told me something similar (and he has before) I take it as a good thing that he would bother to help a woman who otherwise might be in trouble getting picked up by the wrong person.
You would have been fine if it was a man, right? Are women not as deserving of help? Or is it just that you feel like you can't trust him?

Jan 30, 2012
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UNHAPPY WIFE NEW
by: Anonymous

I had a similar incident. My trucker gave a ride for his trucker friend's "other woman" - so they could meet up. I had two issues here. He gave a ride to someone who goes for married men and I had no idea if she would have that same attitude towards my husband and secondly I have moral issues with my husband supporting this type of behaviour.
My hubby also told me after the fact and I had no idea how to react. I trust him implicitly but there was that nagging voice in the back of my mind. Then I went on the road with him and he introduced me to her...well, needless to say, he won't ever touch her....lol... I can't tell my man who he can and can't associate with, just share my views and tell him I still trust him.

Jan 25, 2012
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Good Deeds NEW
by: Sharon

I have found that for some drivers doing something extra for someone out there is what they need to validate why they are out there to begin with.Coping with in company people problems, other drivers, and just the monotony of endless miles plays on their minds and hearts-IS THIS ALL THERE IS? To do a good turn for another breaks up that train of thought.Giving someone a meal or shower or a ride can reaffirm them that they are valuable. Too many companies are great out of the gate in appreciatting a driver but time seems to whittle that away. Focus on what you are building together with the income and keep loving each other. God Bless

Jan 24, 2012
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Think it through NEW
by: Hervy

Pamela, it's not that hard to be frustrated and then with the added information I am sure it didn't get any easier.

However, you should take a minute to look at the big picture. Like Anon said, he didn't have to mention the woman he picked up.

He must have thought that it was something that you would not have a problem with if he told you and then had a noticeable change in attitude once he saw that you were not pleased about it.

I understand that people are different and what is ok for one couple or person for that matter may not be ok for another.

However, if he thought is was ok it doesn't mean that he was up to no good, it just means that you two have different views of what is acceptable. (maybe)

If it were me, I might ask something like, "Would it bother you at all if I were to pick up a man walking and dropped him off hours later"

His response (not necessarily just his words, his reaction as a whole) might lead you to respond either with determining his behavior acceptable or give you grounds to point out how you would appreciate it if he didn't do what he would have a problem with you doing. Also, that it bothers you.

On another note.....if there are some incidents which are the cause of the trust issues, maybe you two need to get some formal marriage counseling.

You have to be on the same page about what you expect and what is acceptable to each of you in the relationship. With out that clearly defined you will always have a wondering mind about what he is up to.

Hervy

Jan 24, 2012
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unhappy wife NEW
by: Anonymous

YOU SHOULD BE VERY GLAD THAT YOUR HUSBAND IS HONEST WITH YOU IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT HE IS NOT HIDING ANYTHING FROM YOU SO YOU NEED TO REALIZE THAT YOU HAVE ONE GO0OD MAN

Jan 24, 2012
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to unhappy NEW
by: babydoll

I hear what your saying ! How old are you? You sound like you need someone to talk to who's husband drives truck also! Ever want to chat let me know!

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