Am I wrong?

So I'm looking for some feedback from you ladies of those of you who are in a romantic relationship with a truck driver.

So here's my situation:

My husband has been an Over-the-road trucker now for 3 years. With the company he's with now he's home 4 days out of the month.

Last year was the first time the opportunity arose that I could travel along with him while he worked. During that first trip, we had argued pretty bad. After that trip my husband "banned" me from his truck for 7 months for how I acted.

In April of this year I went with him for the 2nd time and we had a good trip together but we were gone for only 1 week. I just got home from my 3rd time of being with him on the road. We were gone for 19 days. Out of the 19 days we were gone, we argued for 3 of them.

The day we were headed home which was one of the days we argued, he told me he was going to drop me off in another state and make me take the Greyhound Bus home. It would have taken me at least 2 days to get home with no sleep overnight.

At the last minute he changed his mind and agreed to take me home with him. When we got home, he told me that I was again banned from his truck for the next 6 months. What are your thoughts on this, ladies??

My husband says that the main reason he bans me from his truck is because when we argue it makes him very mad and that is a safety hazard while he is driving.

I'm thinking that one reason we argued this last time was the length of time we were on the road together verses the 2nd time we were only gone for 1 week. On the way home, I hadn't showered in 4 days and wasn't getting very much sleep so I was not really feeling myself.

What are your thoughts, ladies, on my husband banning me from his truck to try to modify my behavior when/if I go with him again.

I feel like I have to be perfect when I go with him. Like he wants good days 100% of the time. I mean, 16 good days out of 19, I think that is pretty good!

Does he even care about the good days?

And what about my husband telling me he's going to drop me off at a truck stop and make me find my own way home? And by the way, on our first trip out together on his truck he PROMISED me that he would NEVER leave me at a truck stop.

So although he didn't follow through with it, to me he still broke his promise to me by telling me he was going to do it even though he changed his mind later.

Now my trust for him is broken and I don't even know if I WANT to ever go with him on his truck since he has shown me he is willing to abandon me in another state.

I need some advice. I really do. I need to know if I'm wrong. Thank you, ladies.

Comments for Am I wrong?

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Nov 05, 2012
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Are you missing your marbles!!! NEW
by: MRS. G

I am not so sure you have your act together at all. No offense but you said this man physically abused your son and you are still with him. That is sure to damage the relationship you have with your son. Who cares about this guy you married. You made a mistake. The fact that he abused your son, overshadows anything he's done or threatened to do to you. Pack your things and put away some cash while he has you "banned" from his home on wheels and get the hell outta dodge!! It is a sad fact that women face domestic violence daily in this country and are too afraid to do anything about it. I know - I have been there. However, when it trickles down to my child - I'd kill the bastard in his sleep before he had a chance to hurt him again. I do not mean to sound condescending or harsh but wake up and consider your child for God's sake. Do you want him to grow up thinking it is normal for his mom to condone him being abused by someone just because she married the moron! Stand up for your child and leave this man. He doesn't have the right to have a good woman in his life or children who he should be nurturing and setting an example for; not abusing. Don't let him ban you from his truck; ban him from your LIFE!!!

Sep 11, 2012
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I am confused....but you should not be, honey! NEW
by: Amanda

Ok- first and foremost: You mentioned the fact that you had a son from a previous marriage. You also stated that your current husband "physically abused" your son. Then you went on to state that you could never leave your current husband except in the case of "abuse" or "adultery."
My question is: Does your husband abusing your child not count as an "abusive situation?" Also- you stated that your husband has a prior history of physial violence with women. (My husband has been fired from a job for sending a woman to the E.R.)
Do these things (not to mention him threatening physical harm to your loved ones) not add up to a big, shiny sign with neon letters that flash "HE IS ABUSIVE-GET THE SMACK OUTTA THERE!"
Please don't think I am being snotty, darlin. I was very nearly killed by by first husband. It started off with "little" things like getting dropped off on the side of the road at night after an argument in the car. It ended with a collapsed trachea and fractured eye socket. I am a Christian, too. I am now married to a wonderful Christian man who is the son of a Baptist "Preacher Man." And I believe unless it's adultery or abuse, a man and a woman should stick together. BUT-your husband IS abusing you AND your child. As that baby's "single momma," that child's upbringing is something I believe that the Lord holds you accountable for. Don't stay, honey. Not all battered women's facilities are run-down and full of man-hatin' lesbians. :) My prayers are with you and please remember that as a child of the King of Kings, you ARE a princess and you deserve to be treated as such.

Aug 15, 2012
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Wife of a driver and a rider! NEW
by: Melissa (Wife of a Driver)

Ive been on the road with my husband alil over a year! I dont mind living this life style but its not for everyone! The day we got married 6/2011 we started our new life as husband and wife on the road! Ive learned you really got to know when to pick ur battles! One thing ive learned about being on the road its a big mind game! Kinda like jail but you have alil more freedom! lol O and im sorry but not all truck drivers are out there cheating! Ive heard from some drivers came home to suprise the wife and WOW she is with someone else while he is out working!So dont always assume that! This life isnt built for everyone! Dont get me its not all good 24/7 there are times u will go a day or two without shower and all u eat is fast food! but for the most part i love being with my husband and seeing what he does! My advice would be for you is to go everyother month with him! If you go for a long period of time try getting a hotel when hes on his 34 hour break. It helps to get out of the truck! If i need space ill do laundry or go outside and make a call! But ive seen alot out here in just a year with trucks being in accidents and believe me it doesnt help if the driver is mad or upset over something that can wait until he is done for the day! Be safe out there!

Aug 02, 2012
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Riding with your Husband NEW
by: Beckie

I rode once with my husband 80 miles You know what-riding is a truck is not my thing. He smokes, I dont so that did not work for me. I think staying home and doing what I enjoy,and just talking to him every day and being so happy to see and be with him when he comes home is much better for a relationship.

Jul 22, 2012
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Janet (Ladybug) NEW
by: Anonymous

I am a truckers wife of 32yrs and when he started acting like this(banning me from his truck)it was because he had lot lizards to go to in every state so I screwed up his schedule of seeing them so that is why i'm sure your husband banned u from the truck.

Jul 20, 2012
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Dear Honest!!! Are you a Moron!! NEW
by: Anonymous

Did you not read Her original post???????????????
This SOB beat her son in other words he PHYSICALLY ABUSED her son!!!!!! Are you that much of a dunce!!!! He was not joking and she doesn't need to wait around for it to happen. I suggest to you that you read symptoms of the "Domestic Violence Cycle" before you start advising people to hang around till the destruction happens!!!!!

OMG!!!!!! Where do you come from??????? Mars????

Jul 20, 2012
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Honest answer... NEW
by: Anonymous

Well, I do feel sorry for what happened on your trip together, but him wanting a perfect trip 100% of the time isn't unreasonable. Think about it, this is their office, it's not a road trip for the sake of seeing the country. He has pressure on him that maybe you don't take into consideration? Threatening to leave you at a truck stop or sending home on Greyhound is one thing, maybe just words out of frustration, if he actually did it that's a whole other story and I wouldn't ride with him again either. I don't mean to make light of your situation, but maybe there is a different way of thinking about what happened. He is right that him diving a big rig while he's so angry isn't safe for you, him or anyone on the road with you guys. You should talk to him about it when he's home, showered, rested and reasonable. Good luck to you.

Jul 18, 2012
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Okay now is the time to leave!! He is Lieing he is NOT christian!! NEW
by: Anonymous

Forget the money, forget the marriage, because he is Christian!! That in itself is bull crap!! Christian people don't go around hitting or
threatening people or children he is full of it not only that, he sounds like he is cloaking his bad deeds with religion come on you cannot be that naive!!! He is also breaking commandments here hellooo so how can you guys use religion as an excuse for not divorcing?? You don't get to break the rules in one area and then uphold rules in other areas this sounds quite idiotic to me!! If you hire a detective I guarantee he is committing adultery!

So don't use religion for your divorce!! Use the court system which is not religious and will grant you the divorce with or with out him!! Hellooooo spousal abuse and child abuse is illegal in this country and he is breaking more commandments WAKE UP!!!! He is going after you next abuse has a cycle and it always ends in tragedy!!

So get out!! Quit making excuses!! Go to a battered women's shelter and explain to them his actions they will get you on your feet, help you get to school and even make sure you have child care so you cant have an excuse to leave him because of finances they supply all the help you can need to get you on your feet!!

I dont know where you live but here is a website you can read and learn and find a location close to you www.ncadv.org/aboutus.php. Hurry don't waste any time, must you wait till you find your son crippled or worse??

Sorry for your demise and God Bless

Jul 18, 2012
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exactly what my gut was telling me! NEW
by: Anonymous

Thank you so much for your feedback. And to answer your question, "No" my husband WAS NOT joking when he said he was going to drop me off in the next city we got to and make me find my own way back home! After I read your comments, I felt confirmation. What you said is exactly what my gut was telling me!! I told my husband that I remember growing up as 1 of 4 kids and we took many road trips and I remember my parents would unmercifully fight many times but my Dad never dropped my Mom off anywhere or even told her he was going to; he always made sure he took her home no matter HOW MAD he was at her! Get this, my husband has said things to me that he was going to physically hurt some of my family members. My husband has been fired from a job for sending a woman to the ER, he has physically abused my son (his step-son) and I honestly don't know why I am staying with him. Yes, I'm financially dependent on him but I've been thinking about getting some schooling done to get a decent-paying job so that I would be able to leave my husband and support myself and my son too. Another reason I am staying with my husband right now is that we are Christian and we firmly believe in marriage and are against divorce unless there is adultery involved. We believe it's ok to seperate if there is abuse going on but I would never be able to remarry unless my husband broke the marriage vows by commiting adultery. You don't know how much I regret marrying him!! It was THE WORST mistake of my life!!!!!!!! I wish I could warn some good girls out there in a situation where they're unsure to marry a certain man. Definately get to know the man before you marry him! And I didn't do that. Our relationship before we got married was primarily long-distant.

Jul 17, 2012
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Well Get the Hell Out of that Relationship FAST!!!! NEW
by: Anonymous

I would hope he was just joking when he said all that to you? Ask him straight out is he joking???

If anyone put that kind of fear in me about being dropped off somewhere I didn't know where I was, I would never get in the truck/car/boat/bike or any other type of vehicle with them again period.

I would stay the hell away from that type of person too!!! That is downright cruel and abusive for someone to say that to a loved one to scare them like that!!!

No matter how small the abuse is it eventually gets bigger. I say bail out while you still have your life, get away from him and don't look back!!!

There are way to many nice guys out there then to have to put up with an idiot like that, you are far more better than that!!

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