Advice for the Newbie (In-your-face stuff I wish someone had told me in the beginning)
(Colorado Springs, CO)
*it never gets "easier" watching him go. That's BS. And if he leaves once where you are totally together and saying "I got this", next time will be 10 times harder. No, it never gets easier. You just learn enough about yourself and your coping mechanisms to manage it better
*yes, there are truckers who cheat. But Being a trucker does not make a man unfaithful. THE MAN is what makes a man unfaithful. If you trusted him before, don't allow anyone else's experiences or drama change that.
*be the woman he WANTS to come home to. If for whatever reason the last one didn't sink in, let me be more direct. He's not gonna make home time a priority if all you do is whine and complain while he's gone. Why would he wanna come home to that? Worried about him finding someone younger and hotter? Get your ass on the treadmill, put down the donuts and buy some cute lingerie and make up, then take some pics and send them to him to remind him what's waiting at home.
(No, I'm not advocating body shaming here...the point is, you know what your man likes)
*now is not the time to be a conservative prude. This is not meant to be judgmental of conservatism, but if you haven't learned that men are, by nature, sexual beings, well, I have a whole separate writing on that.
Learn the art of sexting and camming. It's your husband, for crying out loud. If you don't want him looking at porn, you better be his personal porn star.
*adjust your shopping, cooking and recipes
I could always count on hubby having seconds, eating leftovers and using too much toilet paper. Account for his absence or you'll be tossing food left and right; and don't give your teens an excuse to go TP'g
*He may be gone, but your title as WIFE is about to take on a whole new meaning. It's lonely out there, as he's gonna need you now more than ever before. Whether it's listening to him vent about a bad day, doing his shopping and laundry when he's home, or being that eye candy he needs. Solitude on the road can make the most independent man more needy of his woman - don't let him down!
*coordinate your cycles and home time. There's nothing worse than starting your period the day he comes home
*you are about to embark on the best years of your marriage...
If you let yourself. There is great truth to the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder", but this can only be true if you keep negativity at bay. You can either focus on being alone, or focus on enjoying your free time; you can focus on "what if he cheats", or focus on being the reason he never would; you can focus on what he's NOT around for, or focus on making his home time something you both look forward to. It's up to you. Choose what is uplifting to your marriage and don't be the one that tears it down.
I'm still new to all this too. Every day I learn something about myself, my husband, or my marriage. It's not an easy life, and sometimes even I ask myself "why do we do this?" I have a picture frame in my living room with a photo of me and my Hubby from a party. The frame reads, "Love doesn't make the world go round...Love is what makes the ride worthwhile"
Enjoy the ride