About my wife

by Keith Schnittker
(Butler,Pa.)

just me

just me

I am the lucky husband to Jennifer. I am so blessed to have a woman at home that is understanding and loving and supporting. Truthfully though,it wasn't always that way.

When i first made the decision to pursue my goal of becoming a professional driver again(I drove probably 20 years ago for a few years) it didn't go over so well. It was met with disapproval to say the least. But me being a man,and stubborn etc. i pursued it anyway.

To her credit,against her best interests she looked around,found me a good school,even found a way to finance me in that school so that there was no out of pocket expense for us. As i was going through school I was still working menial jobs full time and attending school at night, from the start,this career change took away from a relationship that up to that time was fantastic and fulfilling for both of us.

As school neared completion the time came to make my decision as to who i was going to drive for, I chose Werner,i know,i know I'm not proud of it either lol.

Anyway,that decision made,there were plenty of evenings filled with arguments and crying,because she didn't understand how i could make this selfish choice,all though i didn't see it that way then,it truly was selfish.

Anyway,i went to orientation and then on the rode with trainer. I enjoyed the long hours,my trainer was long haul 48 states. Fortunately, my trainer was understanding and got a load that took me by my house for a night at home shortly before christmas.

It was at that time that i realized how much i missed my best friend in the world,but i thought i was already too committed to change at that point. But,to make a long story short 2 days later i was back home and out of a job. I then took the holidays off before looking for another one.

In my search i found a ompany,local,regional,that got me home more frequently,every weekend guaranteed. Though that company turned out to be less than perfect it did give me insight into the job i loved and wanted to stay in,that being flatbed.

Even through the first 5 months my wife and i still engaged in ummmmmm,long conversations and ummmmm disagreements lol. But,as i drove for that company it gave me the chance to run into and talk to drivers for the company i not drive for.

In June,i took 2 weeks off,to go see my son in Kansas and to be home for my wife's surgery. It was at this time that i had time to think about what i was doing to make the situation with my driving and home life worse than it had to be.

I realized this, that I had my dream job,but i was letting my marriage and best friend suffer because of the time away from home and my attitude when i WAS there. It donned on me that if i wanted to have my cake and eat it too,that i was going to have to make special effort to return to the way i used to be when i was home,that being, attentive, loving, doting, caring, spoiling etc. and ya know what,along the way,somewhere after that epiphany, I fell in love with my wife all over again.

I realized that what i had at home was something that just doesn't exist in this big bad world of truck driving. A wife that is supportive of my career choice,proactive in that career, and supportive. Let me summarize by saying this.

If you are a driver in any capacity,always remember this,even though you are doing what you want to,it is not necessarily the choice of your significant other. If it is great, but if not, its going to take a lot of hard work to make the career and marriage work,and a good part of it has to come from you,the driver.

You have to take extra special care of the home life just like you do your truck. When home,spend as much time as you possibly can with your wife or significant other.

Spoil, love, dote, snuggle but most of all time spent together has to be quality time,one on one,together,no side interruptions,i know i know ya only get a few opportunities to jump to that Nascar page to check on this weeks race and your racer but come on now,which is truly more important,for me,its my best friend,my love, my life, my wife Jen. She is all important to me as is her feelings and her happiness, and i make it my number one priority to give her everything she needs and meet all her needs when i am at home,even when im not. phone conversations etc. after all, its because of her and her efforts,even against her wishes,that i am where i am today.

The long and the short of it is this, I love my wife and without her i am alone, lonely, and with out my soul mate,so that means that she deserves more attention that that other woman in my life lol the truck. I do my best at my job as a driver and i thoroughly enjoy what i do,but i enjoy my home life and my marriage even more than that,but without hard work and commitment from me,the driver,it wouldn't exist today.

Keep on driving safe,but also,keep on taking care of what ya got at home.

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Feb 19, 2013
Long Haul wife of a month. NEW
by: Melissa Johnson

Hi there. I have been married for just about a month and while I had some time to adjust to the life of a trucker when we were dating, I am having a hard time with him being gone like he is (2-3 months) now that we are married.

I had a really hard time letting him go this time. When he had to leave again we had been married less than a week. It was very difficult for me to watch him say goodbye to our daughter and and then having to take him to the terminal. I have read on other sites that most of the wives men are gone for a few weeks max. Do you have any advice for me with him being gone for so long? I hope our relationship can be as great as yours is. God Bless!

Melissa Johnson

Feb 19, 2013
Long Haul wife of a month. NEW
by: Melissa Johnson

Hi there. I have been married for just about a month and while I had some time to adjust to the life of a trucker when we were dating, I am having a hard time with him being gone like he is (2-3 months) now that we are married.

I had a really hard time letting him go this time. When he had to leave again we had been married less than a week. It was very difficult for me to watch him say goodbye to our daughter and and then having to take him to the terminal. I have read on other sites that most of the wives men are gone for a few weeks max. Do you have any advice for me with him being gone for so long? I hope our relationship can be as great as yours is. God Bless!

Melissa Johnson

Apr 15, 2012
Having trouble adjusting, newbie
by: Cynthia Harris

All i could think of the whole time i read your article was "wow, one day we will be more understanding of each other, and make it work for us". it has givin me hope.

Whether i like it or not i have been a truckers wife for 8 months. He started out with weekends here and there or 4 days here or there and then it drastically went to him never getting to come home. I am talking about stretches 2 to 4 weeks long and when he was home he still worked 12 hour days so i still never got to spend time with him. at least quality time anyway.

He got fired from that job for our marriage because i hit a breaking point and they were gonna send him to north Dakota for at least 3 weeks.

Now hes driving for mcelroy in Ennis Texas. he'll be home every weekend and once they get him in a truck he may even be home during the week. I am glad he found something that good and reasonable.

I just have to adjust. maybe me finding a job will help after all. at least till we have kids. its just us right now and i am always getting lonely. I have already been commended by him lol. that was because i was doing everything and taking care of a 2 year old nephew who basically needed a second parent.

I know he appreciates me. I just want more quality time with him when he is home. or have myself devote weekends to him and cooking which i know he already misses.

Oct 24, 2011
Bulls eye
by: Joe(aka Coolbreeze

You answered a lot of what has been flowing threw my mind for last 7yrs since I started driving. I love being a pro driver (the open road,the hrs,freedom, money, not having the boss over ur back every 5 min, different people everyday not the same old same old like with a 9-5 job) But my wife doesn't see it the same way I do.

We fought time and time again. I started missing home a lot too back in 08 when my lil girl was born. My wife always told me I don't love her and that I don't know how to show it.

So one day after a 1 1/2 long talk with her on the cellie. I went in side the Pilot T/S I was at to use the lil boys room on my way out. I saw they had books so I was looking and it was like the book fell in my lap. "HOW TO SHOW A WOMAN LOVE" So I started to read it then I thought u know what I can't read this alone so I call my wife back up and started to read it with her over the phone.

Took a while for things to at least claim down. weeks later she told me she bought a book. Thought nothing of it. Til I got home n saw it. It was "HOW TO SHOW A MAN LOVE" Writen by the Husband of the author of my book lol kinda weird but we went with the flow and changed on and off reading to one another while I was away.

I just picked up another book a yr ago "SEX,MONEY AND KIDS THE THREE THINGS COUPLE FIGHT ABOUT" So were working on those issues as well. She don't like what I do 4 a living but has long has I give her the attention she deserves and give her a vacation from the kids when I get home she said she'll deal with it.

She said because you are good at it and you know what you are doing and your heart is in it just as long has your heart is more into our marriage then it's ok.

Jul 03, 2011
Nail on the head
by: Emmah Hackbarth

You hit the nail on the head and I'm so glad you had your epiphany before she called it quits or asked you to come off the road.

My husband, Randy, can squeeze more fun and loving in an 8-24 hour layover than I thought was possible and it makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE in the success of our marriage. Even if he's out 2-3 weeks he'll call and go over every wonderful moment we had together. He keeps the romance alive and tells me everyday that he's a lucky man.

We keep it real though because, in reality, we both need alot of personal space in our relationship and trucking provides that space. We can appreciate and offer support to each other without stepping on each others toes.

Sep 26, 2010
Amazing
by: Dottie

Kieth you are a rare man, who is not ashamed to profess his love for his wife.
You two have a wonderful relationship. It makes all of us who do not have that kind of relationship envy you and at the same time wonder just what we are missing.
You are an inspiration to all husbands, if they would only read your story.
Your wife Jen is a sweetheart. She loves you as much as you love her. Her advise is wonderful and to the point.
Thank you both for your advise.
Congrats on the new job that allows you to be home.

God Bless You Both

Jul 30, 2010
thanks
by: chanda

thanks for what you said. i hope that my trucker appriciates me . sometimes i wonder. its hard because he drives otr and we live in two differnt states. so we dont see eachother as often as i would like. i tend to worry about him when i dont hear from him . he mainly drives along the east coast .

Jul 17, 2010
local drivng
by: bob

hi there,

i read your piece and its very moving. I hear you loud and clear. Congrats on making it all work for you guys.

I was wondering maybe if you drove local you could have more home time? Im thinking your running regional right?

What wireless you find the best when your out on the road? (just an off the wall question).

Best of luck friend.


Jul 04, 2010
awwwwe!
by: Ashley

That is so sweet. It kind of reminds me of my boyfriend (David) he is great guy, sometimes he forgets some of what you said but he always finds a way to make up for it. You two are inspirational, I'm going to share this with him when we talk tomorrow. He is sitting waiting on a load, I think he would enjoy hearing it. Thanks for sharing!

Nov 16, 2009
Hope my husband has the epiphany you did!!
by: Anonymous

I'm so happy for your relationship! You sound like a great guy and you have a lucky wife. I know my husband will never see this, which is too bad.

He doesn't do OTR, but he drives line haul (third shift) from a terminal that is 1 and 1/2 hours from our home. So when he's not driving he's sleeping.

He will go for days without seeing the kids sometimes because he misses them in the morning and sometimes at night when he leaves, too.We have five kids, his first three from his first marriage and our two. I am the single mom all week and the weekend.

My husband, unfortunately, is very selfish and doesn't want to reconnect with me on the one day he's home. He wants to be by himself, for the most part, do what he wants, when he wants to and doesn't want to or have the energy to help me do anything or just have fun with us.

I guess it's unfair to expect him to do much on his one day off, but I don't get any days off, just the lonely nights...

Anyway, your post gives me a shred of hope that my husband might realize what he has at home, too, someday, because the last few weeks especially have been really unhappy.

Happy holidays-hope you get some time off to be home with your best friend!

Jan 21, 2009
Thank you
by: April

Very well written! It takes a genuine man to notice what you did and realize that the "trucker" isn't the only one in the relationship to be commended. I truly hope that someday my trucker has the same epiphany. Thank you for making light of the "other half."

Dec 23, 2008
What an awesome example for truckers
by: Anonymous

You guys are toooo cute!

This should be a great inspiration for anyone having relationship problems, but especially for truckers to know that they can be happier and grow a strong relationship with a little more understanding.

God Bless and Merry Christmas

Oct 19, 2008
Thank you Wordman
by: Jennifer Schnittker

I know it seems a bit self-serving to reply to your post, but I wanted to say thank you. Its nice to be appreciated at home! Sometimes we all forget to say the simplest of things in a relationship.
1.) Thank you
2.) I am sorry
3.) I appreciate you.

When people look at their relationships, and wonder where it went wrong. If they actually recount the times they have said the above statements, they will be amazed at the lack of times they have literally said those words.

Most assume the other "knows". Listen, we dont have E.S.P, therefore cannot read someones thoughts. To literally say it, and make sure that the person knows that the giver of those statements is truly sincere can make all the difference in the world.

I wonder how many wives are told on a daily basis (a whisper in their ear from their significant others) You are beautiful, or you are my life. Probably not many, because we forget to express our feelings to those we love.

It makes a huge difference, and even to me! I have to say, it brings me to tears at times, an unexpected "wow, the house looks awesome", or "do you know how much I appreciate everything you do for me?".

Thank you Wordman, for being THAT man

I love you!
Angel ;)

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