When does it get easier?

by Missing him
(Portland, OR)

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year... He said he wanted to drive big rigs before we became a couple but I didn't want him to drive long haul.

I've tried to be supportive of his dream but also told him how much I want him here with me! We had no luck finding anything local that didn't require at least a year experience so he left last week for his training with Swift...

I am going crazy already and everything that reminds me of him makes me break down!!! It'll be a week tomorrow and he's go to do 240 hrs before he can come home at all :-(

He left for a couple weeks before (about 6 months ago) to get his CDL but didn't take a job with that company... A small part of me hopes and prays that this won't work out so he can come home, even though we need the money so bad.

I know that's so selfish and he will be much happier as a man if he can be successful and provide for our family but I can't help but feel that way! This time feels so much worse than before...

I know that I need to keep myself busy and everything, but so far it's not working. I work full time and we just moved so I have plenty that I need to do, I just can't focus and get motivated. We did everything together and everything reminds me of him and how much I wish he was home.

I work full time and have a teenager (not his) so going on the road with him isn't an option right now... I told him if he can just wait a couple years, I'll go with him... But he needs work now and is tired of doing jobs that don't pay well and make him miserable.

Maybe this time hurts so much worse because we have lately been coming out of the "honeymoon" stage... Nothing major but it's like the stresses of life have been getting to us both and we haven't been getting along as well because of it (mostly money, we lost our home a month ago).

We've talked about marriage and having babies and our future together... But with the way things have been the couple of months, I'm worried that this was the worst possible time he could leave...

I dont want to lose him on the road! A few days before he left we were arguing and he said how glad he is that he gets to leave soon, I know it was out of anger but I can't get it out of my head!

Seems like with him gone for almost a whole year, we'll miss so much life opportunity...

How can our relationship grow if we can't be together???

I don't have a lot of family and friends close by and feeling so lonely with the other half of my heart gone. I guess I'm looking for someone to talk to who has even there... Some tips about the industry and how I can do this!

I would give anything to be on the road with him, it just can't happen right now because my son is only 15... When they say they'll only do it a year and then find something local, how likely is that?

I'd think there are too many drivers that want that... And he says he'll only get 2-3 days home each month!

Really, how is that even ok for a company to do that? Doesn't seem right!!!

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Aug 28, 2012
Ok well this is all new to me... NEW
by: Missing him

I know I've had a negative attitude about this and I don't want to... I love my man more than anything else and its for sure not about the money, I've been supporting us both for most of the last year.

Sorry if my post was negative... It just all came pouring out. I have never had a long distance relationship, so this all feels unfamiliar and challenging. I think this is a good opportunity for me to work on "me" too... The last few days have given me time to reflect and realize that my attitude may be much better if I was much better with myself.

Any tips or advice on how I can cope while he is away and how I can best support his career choice would be great. What can I do from a distance to keep us "connected"? Im hoping that there is a way that this experience can help us grow and move forward in our relationship... Regardless of the distance!

Good luck and best wishes to everyone...

Aug 28, 2012
mmmmm NEW
by: Anonymous

A relationship can not grow if you stay in the negative. And from what I have read in your post it sounds pretty negative. So before you start to work on your relationship, you must begin first by working on self.

You seem to have knocked down any suggestions that may have been given to you, and have some negative thoughts towards him, his career choice and your relationship such as:

1. keep busy... you say this doesn't work
2. you cannot go on the road...not in the cards
3. your crazy already..... you break down
4. cant focus or get motivated
5. part of me hopes and prays that this won't work out so he can come home..
6. I know that's so selfish...
7. I'm worried that this was the worst possible time he could leave...
8. I don't want to lose him on the road!
9. days before he left we were arguing

I only put this list out for you to reflect on, see others will see the negativity that is around you and assume you are not happy in this relationship...so just another suggestion if you did not agree on this career choice along with him then it's time to move on... if you did go along with it just because of the money that's 2 strikes against you and that is exactly how it will look. Only you can make things work for you and only if you want them to....

Good Luck :)

Aug 28, 2012
uhn huh NEW
by: Anonymous

Maybe alto just forget about him u must dont love him

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