what is with the negativity??

by kayley camou
(san juan capistrano,ca)

Hi. Im a newlywed! :) got married to a trucker one month ago. He's been trucking for about 9 months now. His first day was new years eve. Way to spend the new years alone right?

Well this is a new experience for me. But we are both only 25 years old. No kids. Just pets. :) anyways i understand how all you wives feel. The "why is it so hard when he leaves" "is he cheating on me on the road" "why is he lying about finances" "it feels so empty in this house" but come on ladies!

We act like we have never been single before in our lives! While he is making a living to put food on the table for you, get a job and a hobby, spend time with your kids because they need at least one parent paying attention, but get over it.

Trucking is a job that you have to be passionate about. And i was supportive to my husband trucking because that was all he talked about. I would expect my husband to be supportive of me starting my own business in whatever i wanted right? So its only fair to be supportive and communicate.

Talk everyday and before bed. Ask how the day went. Its not the first relationship you have been in so why is this one different? Because he is gone? This gives you an opportunity to become an independent woman which i guarantee you was one of the reasons he fell in love with you.

You are ambitious, you have wants and desires in life, so go get them while he is gone. Now im not talking about adultery, no just because you are lonely does not give you the right to cheat.

Even if you think hes cheating it still does not make it right. Thats a whole nother ball of wax i dont want to discuss.

My point is ladies, you want to go back to school? Nows the time to do it. Career change? Sure, as long as bills are paid and foods on the table, make something of yourself.

Pick up knitting or softball club, bowling league, book club, go dancing on the weekends, pick up a hobby to better yourself and it will take up some of that time away. And absence makes the heart grow fonder. When he comes home, make it a homecoming he will never forget.

Now that my rant is over, i have a few questions. I have fibromyalgia and no doctor wants to take me seriously. So it is extremely difficult to find a job. I need a job where i can sit but also stretch, so i dont know if i can take breaks trucking if we were to do teams.

But im kinda at my last straw finding a job that brings in good money. Being a team driver also gives me time with him which i desperately need because the fibro makes me depressed sometimes. So i find it hard to stay positive and when hes gone for weeks at a time it becomes worse.

So like i said ladies i know how it feels to have an empty house when hes gone. But thats no reason to leave him when he loves you and you love him, just make time for each other.

But back to me, since im debating a career change to trucking i will be able to make the money i need to keep a roof over my head and spend time with him. My pets can be taken care of by our roommates i suppose. But i want to take my cat with me if possible.

The only hesitation i have is that i never thought of being a truck driver, ever. And the fibro will hurt sitting for long periods of times, but at the same time its better for me. Its like sitting in a vibration chair and circulating the blood better through my legs.

The only meds i need to take are pain meds or nerve meds nothing to inhibit me from operating machinery. So ladies and team drivers husband and wives teams, my question is how do you abide by log books and hours and still spend time with your man?

I dont want to do this is if he is driving and im sleeping and then im driving and he is sleeping. I want at least a few hours a day together and obviously with a 34 then we will at least have 24 together to be optimum.

I kinda know the hour rules. Sometimes i get confused. But i want your opinions on team driving and how it has been spending time together. Like eating together. Or sleeping some of the time together. I need my cuddles.seeing things together along with working. If there is a way that can happen then i might sign up.

Newlywife of a trucker-kayley c

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Oct 17, 2013
Kids NEW
by: Anonymous

We have FIVE kids. He decided to become a truck driver and leave when the youngest was 1 month old. I have supported this and been there for him and kept the fort down. It's been 7 months now. I think it's unfair to tell people to "get over it" and spend time with their kids. Maybe you enjoyed single life and being left to your own devices, I do as well, which I CANNOT do now because I only have him to care for our children when I need that break to enjoy my independence. The oldest child is 10 years old. ALL are boys except the youngest. I think if you want to pursue dreams you do that on YOUR time, not the time you chose a YOUNG family, and I think the MEN should be accountable. Didn't HE do things that inspired YOUR love for HIM? Now in the name of being positive and supportive he no longer has the same obligations to you?? Many of us are saying "I am lonely, neglected", and what we really mean is that suddenly this person can't take 10 minutes to make a sweet phone call to us for 5 minutes of reassurance. It's a joint effort when you pair your life to another's. If you are saying, hey support him and his dreams then he is obligated to assist her with the tools to do so by supporting her emotional health in dealing with this change.

Sep 05, 2013
time together NEW
by: Jennifer Greene

Oh sweetheart, I am so proud of you!! You are the epitome of the Helpmate that God created woman to be. I have read emails from wives who want to leave their husbands due to the lonliness and homelife responsibilities. I've gotten angry feedback from others who don't support the vows taken when a spouse is unhappy due to their mate spending so much time away.
It is so refreshing to hear from a loving wife who explores the many options available in order to be with the one she loves-granted, you two don't have children to complicate the matter.
Babygirl, you do whatever you have to and can to do whatever it takes to do your dead-level best. If you decide that team driving is too much for you, or you get pregnant or your medication doesn't work or whatever, then you know you did all you could.
Yes, having a loved one on the road is hard, but you have the right attitude to self-improve. Not many people have that luxjury. Also, neither of you will immediately go to sleep when it's the other's turn to drive. That quality time between sleep is time shared and sometimes, sleep becomes secondary to shared experiences. But 24hrs. with anyone can also be a drain on personal time.
So, again, just do all you can and do the next 'right' thing and if plans change, then remain flexible, trusting God in Who your vows were consecrated in, to guide and reveal (through hardship) all the blessing that marriage can be.

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