What am I doing wrong?
I am one of the fortunate ones that has her trucker home every weekend. We have been together for 5 1/2 years and married for 2. And now have a beautiful 5 month old baby girl.
As a friend I am so proud of him, appreciate what he does for us, understands what he goes through. As a wife I am lonely and disappointed in myself for feeling so negatively. I truly want to be more supportive.
I know the differences between men and women. He is so torn between not happy at home and not happy at work. He can not seem to find a balance, or at least that is what he tells me. In my heart I know that trucking is in his blood and that he will not stop for anyone. I can not even convince myself that he does it for the money cause we are barely getting by. I feel like he would choose trucking over me even though right now he would not admit that.
I have so many thoughts running through my mind, so many questions. So here it is, the distance he travels shows in the distance between us. When he comes home there is an adjustment period and by the time you are comfortable around each other again its time for him to leave. Then I am left to miss him again for another week, they are no longer my days they are just the days in between him coming home. I know you can say go get a hobby...but what I want is to feel loved. Loved enough to make it through the week. When he is home he is so tired and would rather just sleep all weekend, does not even shower right away and therefore not that interested in getting physical. I feel so empty. He doesn't even sit beside me. And perhaps that has nothing to do with trucking, or everything to do with it. I dont know anymore.
I have read a few of the stories on here now, some say such wonderful things like honeymoon, and holding hands, cuddling. I get none of that, says he is just to tired. I hate saying such horrible things, he is truly a wonderful person, and says he loves me very much. How can I make this better. How can we become what we need each other to be?